
OF MICE AND MOM
(Based upon the brilliant classic, "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie," written by Laura Numeroff)
If you give a mom a Xanex she's probly gonna ask you for two. When you give her another, she'll probly ask if you'll pick the kids up from school cause it didn't go well the last time.
When you bring em home, they'll probly give her some teen attitude. When they do, she'll ask em to knock it off. When they don't, she might knock em out.
Upon awakening, they might sound funny when they ask for new teeth. Don't worry, it's just harder to talk without them. Mom will probly be looking in the mirror to make sure she doesn't have a mustache. When she sees one, she'll probly ask for more Xanex. Once she's outta the coma, she'll want you to open a window cause she's havin a hot flash. She might get carried away and open every window in the house. She may even end up trying to jump out.
If you pull her back in, she may throw you instead. She might at any moment, unleash a fury known only to those balancing on the estrogen-wound-tight-rope as, 'mood swing'.
When she swings, you better duck.
You might consider calling 911, where they can take her to a little room with a blanket and pillow. It's in the best interest of all. There she'll meet a nice doctor who'll remind her she's outta Xanex. So she'll ask for a refill. And chances are, he'll prescribe some Lithium to go with it. Then she'll probly eat all your cookies without asking. Don't try to stop her.
BIO:
Trying to find a balance in my checkbook and slipping on wayward cans of baked beans while scheduling showers and reining in teens. It takes a village to raise a child, but knowing your son's LaCrosse coach will bench him for staying out all night works for me.
I'm a mother of seven who's had kids in elementary school non-stop for 29 years. I used to have backbone, but it's degenerated. So blackmail and embarrassing have become my weapons of choice.
I'm thrilled and honored to be featured on the wildly popular, lovely Menopausal Mama. It's indeed a privilege to be here today. Thank you, Marcia
I'm a mother of seven who's had kids in elementary school non-stop for 29 years. I used to have backbone, but it's degenerated. So blackmail and embarrassing have become my weapons of choice.
I'm thrilled and honored to be featured on the wildly popular, lovely Menopausal Mama. It's indeed a privilege to be here today. Thank you, Marcia
Maybe I need a xanex.. than I might not care either... better yet, I might get some sleep ;-)
ReplyDeleteOur family won't put us away, we'd enjoy the solitude too much and they know it ;-)
nice post
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An enjoyable read. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteLaunna, Thanks for reading. There's no solitude, wi-fi or smoking when you're 'locked up, but I don't really think it works if you're a couple anyway. I never knew Zanex makes patients 'not care', but it does help my sleep disorder. I've heard drinking makes people 'not care' and although I never have or will, my oldest son keeps telling me he thinks it's time I had a beer. LOL
ReplyDeleteHaha... this was funny... I don't think drinking would help either... you are right, I have heard you don't care so much... lol :)
DeleteThank you Ester!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading Stephen!
ReplyDeleteXanax gives me a headache, LOL. You have seven kids? You have to have a sense of humor to have that many! So glad to meet you through my friend Marcia! :-D
ReplyDeleteYes Sarah, I have seven kids and a headache. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeletewhoa - 7 kids? I don't even have one. I live vicariously through you all. This was a fun read, as you have a great sense of humor. Guess you need it with seven!
ReplyDeleteAn enjoyable read, punctuated with appropriate images, that effectively captures the essence of modern-day-family mayhem.
ReplyDeletePhil, come on over and live it live!
ReplyDeleteBryan, Thank you for your succinct summation! Much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteGreat Article. it's Really Looking Professional Blog. Thank you very much for Sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteHi Meno Mom and this is a great guest post! Donna is the real deal and refreshing honest, I totally agree. Ever since I found her blog, I have been an avid follower. She does have a “unique voice in the blogosphere,” and I love her for it too! And I Love this post “Of Mice and Mom”! Had me laughing out loud LOL!! Good job, Donna!
ReplyDeleteThank you JerseyLil. You're pretty original too, but what do you think of Nabanow? I think his last name might be Spam. Maybe he's an heir to Hormel Foods!
ReplyDeleteOh dear Lord . . . 7 kids? 29 years of elementary school? I'd need more than a Xanax . . . IJS! Great post.
ReplyDeleteStellar as always, my friend. The title had me cackling. God, you're funny! Now…can I have a Xanax?
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