Today Kim is bringing on the funny by sharing a little slice of her personal life….or rather, her husband's talent for stinking out their pets. I've read this post several times and I'm STILL laughing over the visuals! Please welcome my dear friend Kim to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love!
LIFE IS A SYMPHONY OF BUTT TRUMPETS
Okay, so I've gotta be honest. I've known I had to write this post for weeks. But when you're feeling like a zombie thanks to Lexapro and you're winding down the final weeks of a hellish spring semester, sitting down to write a post is ridonkulously challenging.
Nevermind the fact that this should be a funny post. There's plenty of funny in my world (hello fart jokes!) but, again thanks to Lexapro, I have the memory of 90 year old.
"Honey, where did I put my keys?"
"Um, they're right in front of you."
With my questionable memory, constant fatigue, and zombie-like state, it's a wonder I'm allowed to do things on my own. Operating heavy machinery, aka my car, is probably up for debate as well. Then again, have you SEEN how people drive in Vegas? Scary!
So, Meno Mama readers, I do apologize for not having a hilarious story to tell. I can tell you that fart jokes reign supreme in my household. They become even funnier when they scare one of our three cats.
There has also been a time or five when a cat was sleeping right next to my husband's butt and said husband let one loose. Watching a cat fly off the bed because he's scared is hilarious. Trust me on this. Who needs an alarm? Just get my husband to play the butt trumpet and everyone's suddenly awake.
Okay, I just remembered a funny story (funny how that happens when you sit down to write).
We used to have a rat named Pepper. Actually, she was my rat and I happened to bring her with me when I moved in with my husband. One night, possibly a slightly drunken one, hubby was standing next to her cage.
Poor, unsuspecting Pepper was sitting on her perch sniffing around like rats tend to do. Hubby's butt was a grand total of a few inches from her cage when he let one fly. When that happened Pepper fell right off her perch.
I don't recall if the fart was a foul one but just watching her fall off had us both laughing our asses off (no pun of any sort intended, folks).
If there's one thing I've learned (besides the fart jokes reigning supreme) in this marriage, it's that keeping our sense of humor makes life a lot more entertaining. Now if only I could remember more than one or two stories.
As I prepare to set the virtual mic down and return to my own corner of the web, I'd like to thank Marcia for allowing me to hang out here for a day. My idiot inner editor is staring at this post and saying, "Yea, you could do a lot better than this. What the [bleep] is wrong with you?" Might be time to give him another cup of coffee and maybe a cookie so he'll shut up. *sigh* What a jerk.
So yea, I guess that's all I got for now. Time for my meds and another cup of coffee.
In the words of Porky Pig, "That's all, folks!"
Kim Ulmanis is a coffee addicted, early 30-something writer, photographer, and journalism student based in Las Vegas, Nevada. She lives with a mini zoo that includes her husband, three cats, and two rats. Her self-titled blog, www.kimulmanis.com, is a mish-mash of whatever she comes up with on any given day. Writing, photography, travel (when she's allowed out of her cage and her bank account isn't laughing at her), and general thoughts about life.