I met my husband thirty years ago on a blind date after we shared a month of daily phone conversations. Before we met face to face, his quirky sense of humor won me over. I knew I'd never have a dull moment if I married this man.
And I've been laughing ever since.
My love for him deepened after we had four children together and I saw how important family was to him. He encompasses everything a woman looks for in husband material---he's loyal, loving, trustworthy and kind.
Although I admire all of these qualities in my man, it's his off-the-wall humor that I adore most. The things he does for me would send most husbands packing:
- He doesn't have a problem with hitting the drugstore in his pajamas at 2:00a.m. for a tube of Monostat and a bottle of Pepto Bismol. He'll grab a six pack of beer while he's there and tell the checkout lady that he's hosting a helluva party.
- He loves his in-laws despite their quirky habits of being cat whisperers and food addicts.
- When our children were young and we couldn't afford entertainment for their birthday parties, he would don various costumes and morph into “Sven The Happy Swede” or “Daffy The Dysfunctional Clown.”
- He'll eat my Velveeta surprise casserole without complaint even though it tastes like wallpaper paste and looks like a science experiment gone wrong.
- Whenever we share a double decker fudge sundae, he sacrifices a few calories by saving the last bite for me.
- He has plunged our temperamental, overflowing toilet more times than I can count and chased the kids through the house with the dirty, dripping plunger.
- He's patient with me when he's feeling amorous and I'm hotflashing like a mofo. Sex is not an option when my lady parts feel like an Easy Bake Oven.
- He's always ready to protect me from a cockroach invasion. His holster is loaded at all times with a can of Raid on one side and a shoe on the other.
Although there is nothing in our wedding vows about having to pull clingons from the dog's butt or scrubbing algae off a smelly turtle tank, our love can be measured by the lengths we will go to make each other smile.
And in those moments when we are sporting magnifying glasses and nit combs over a child's lice-infested head, I am reminded why I married this man. He is my toilet-plunging, roach-stomping, lice-picking husband.