Sarah is still fairly new to the blogging world (she started many, many moons ago back in June 2012), but she already has a large audience and quite a few blogging awards under her belt. Her bio reads: "The Sadder But Wiser Girl is the mother of two children and is married to an evil genius. Suffering from A.D.D., Anxiety, and a phobia of washing dishes by hand, she blogs to save the world from boringness. Though she is college educated, she would gladly trade her degree in for something useful, like a grilled cheese sandwich. She also goes by the name of Sarah Almond, writer, blogger, and dreamer looking to find her niche somewhere in the great big world."
I think Sarah has already found her niche, and now we are the fortunate ones on the receiving end of her humor.
* * * * * * * * *
A couple of months ago, Menopausal Mother and her darling husband debated about what might happen if Cavemen had Twitter. This intrigued me. I started thinking about what if they had Twitter during other notable times in our history. I’m still learning Twitter, so I’m no expert, but I think that if Twitter was around long ago, things may have been quite interesting.
So what if they had Twitter in Biblical Times? The following are tweets that I think really could have happened, complete with horrible reenactments by Barbies.
For example, what if God tweeted about creating the world?
God@LordOfCreation
BOOM! I made some great stuff this week! Check out my pics on Pinterest.
BOOM! I made some great stuff this week! Check out my pics on Pinterest.
Boo-yah! World creation complete! (Grandpa Snake in a Barbie bathrobe makes a fabulous God, or maybe Hugh Hefner?
Now of course no one would tweet back…yet. What about the Garden of Eden?
Serpent@TheGarden
@Eve Want to grab a snack later? Come on, no one will know…
@Eve Want to grab a snack later? Come on, no one will know…
Eve@FirstGal
Just got my fig leaves. #fashion
Adam@FirstDude
I hate shopping, especially for fig leaves. Thinking of having the Earth’s first beer.
Just got my fig leaves. #fashion
Adam@FirstDude
I hate shopping, especially for fig leaves. Thinking of having the Earth’s first beer.
Adam and Eve hanging out in the garden. Nice apples.
Of course as time went on God would get more popular:
God@LordOfCreation
I’m so excited, I have more than 1000 followers! #sweet
I’m so excited, I have more than 1000 followers! #sweet
God would communicate via Twitter.
God@LordOfCreation
@Moses Do you have a couple of stone tablets and a chisel? I have something I need you to write down for me.
@Moses Do you have a couple of stone tablets and a chisel? I have something I need you to write down for me.
God@LordOfCreation
@Noah I need a favor, and I really hope you like animals. #EpicFlood
@Noah I need a favor, and I really hope you like animals. #EpicFlood
Noah and the only animals I could find. I don’t think there were dragons on the ark.
(Yes I’m well aware that God and Noah look the same. I only have so many guy Barbies!)
(Yes I’m well aware that God and Noah look the same. I only have so many guy Barbies!)
God@LordOfCreation
@Moses Hey me again. Another thought-this whole Egypt thing isn’t working. We need a new thing. I’m thinking a plague of boxelder bugs. Thoughts?
Moses@BurningBush
@God LOL! That would be annoying but not effective. What about a plague of earwigs?
God@LordOfCreation
@Moses Nah… I need something more flashy. Cockroaches? I’m not really using them for anything.
Moses@BurningBush
@God Cockroaches are creepy and they do spread disease, but here’s a thought. Locusts? People hate locusts!
God@LordOf Creation
@Moses Perfect! Make it so!
Pretty soon everyone would be tweeting!
@Moses Hey me again. Another thought-this whole Egypt thing isn’t working. We need a new thing. I’m thinking a plague of boxelder bugs. Thoughts?
Moses@BurningBush
@God LOL! That would be annoying but not effective. What about a plague of earwigs?
God@LordOfCreation
@Moses Nah… I need something more flashy. Cockroaches? I’m not really using them for anything.
Moses@BurningBush
@God Cockroaches are creepy and they do spread disease, but here’s a thought. Locusts? People hate locusts!
God@LordOf Creation
@Moses Perfect! Make it so!
Pretty soon everyone would be tweeting!
Moses@BurningBush
Woo-hoo! Just parted the Red Sea! I rock! #Canaan
Woo-hoo! Just parted the Red Sea! I rock! #Canaan
Jonah@WhaleTales
Awfully dark in here. Something’s fishy.
Awfully dark in here. Something’s fishy.
Noah@FloatMyBoat
Last call for anyone who wants to take the ark for a spin. #EpicFlood
Joseph@JesusDad
No room at the inn! A manger? WTF? #DamnCensus
Last call for anyone who wants to take the ark for a spin. #EpicFlood
Joseph@JesusDad
No room at the inn! A manger? WTF? #DamnCensus
Who knew that Hello Kitty and My Little Ponies were present for the Divine Moment? Um Joseph, you might want to adjust your robe.
Jesus@OhMyDad
Just rose from the dead. Take THAT nonbelievers!
Just rose from the dead. Take THAT nonbelievers!
I hope you enjoyed my little venture into the imaginary world of biblical times with Twitter. Want more? I’ve got a whole brain full of stuff! If you want more insight into the scary place that is my mind, come on over to http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com and check out my blog!
Be sure and check out Sarah's blog at http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com and show her some love by visiting and liking her Facebook fan page at http://www.facebook.com/thesadderbutwisergirl and tell her that Meno Mama sent ya!
Want to show Menopausal Mother some love, too? Vote for me in the Circle Of Moms Top 25 contest! Click on the link below, then scroll down until you find my blog. Click "vote" and BOOM! You're done. You can vote for Meno Mama once a day, every day (within a 24 hour time frame), until the contest ends FEB.13. You can also click on the badge at the upper right corner to get to the site as well. Thanks for showing the love!!
http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Funny-Moms-2013
This was hilarious!!!! I can imagine the wedding scene where Jesus@OhMyDad just turned water into wine. Helluva hangover.
ReplyDeleteHahaha very clever!
DeleteI never thought about the water into wine thing. How could I have missed that? :-) I'm glad you liked it!
DeleteVery funny, great post! I'm your newest follower. Perhaps you can take a look at mine:
ReplyDeletehttp://ramblinggallivantinggirl.blogspot.com
Of course and thanks for the follow!
DeleteI voted again:-)
ReplyDeleteI will have to check out Sarah's blog after my operation... she sounds funny;-)
Thanks, Luanna! But now you have me concerned--what operation???
DeleteI am getting a skin graft on my leg on Jan 31st, I was burned in a fire as a baby and I had skin grafts until I was twelve. I injured one of them 11 years ago and it has never healed, I am finally getting my operation. Lots of time to read, sleep and write blogs so that's good, just no walking for 6 weeks which I will find hard.
DeleteAnyhow, I only came back to tell you that you gave me great idea with this post. I want to get 6-8 posts done up while I am in the hospital, so I am going to showcase a few of my blog friends. I am choosing you as one of my posts.. thanks for the idea:)
Oh that sounds painful!!! But you are right--at least it will give you the opportunity to get caught up on some writing! And thank you SO MUCH for choosing my blog to showcase--I am honored! Just let me know when! Thanks! XOXO
DeleteI will check out Sara's blog and tell her you sent me. And you are a hoot. sandie
ReplyDeleteYou are so kind! Thank you for coming back for a read!
DeleteOMG that was hilarious! Thanks for the morning laughs to make my blues go away. X0x0x0x0
ReplyDeleteYou are always welcome here to chase your blues away.
DeleteGood post and I voted!
ReplyDeleteLove you! <3 <3 <3
DeleteLol she's a riot! Loved her blog.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you got to experience her awesomeness!
DeleteI've never been called a riot before, glad you liked it! Please come back for more!
DeleteGreat post! I'm a Sadder But Wiser fan too! Following you from the #MTMMixer Hop! We "spoke" on FB the other day! Glad to see you on the hop!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your comments on FB--you always crack me up! Thanks for the follow!
DeleteMod Mom is a great blog too! I am waaaaaaay behind on my blog reading and need to catch up. :-D
DeleteYou know why else Mod Mom is awesome? She has pugs!!!! GREAT dogs!
DeleteThat was hilarious! Thank you for introducing me to Sarah and her funny, funny blog!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I love her---great wit!
DeleteI'll have to check out your blog too! Tomorrow we are expecting freezing rain so I should have plenty of time to sit and read up on everyone. So glad you thought it was funny!
DeleteSO educational! I had no idea Mary was a smokin'-hot ginger. My bible left that part out.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff. You belong in my Google reader.
Maybe you had the abbreviated version.....
DeleteThe Readers Digest Condensed Bible?
DeleteVery funny post, Sarah, as usual. Great to see you getting out of the house . . .
ReplyDeleteIt was a lovely visit. There was a lot of coffee and girl chat involved. Now I'm looking for the wine....and there is an extra seat here for you, too. Could you imagine the 3 of us together?!?
DeleteHA HA! Oh the stuff we would come up with!
DeleteI just went over to visit. :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome! You'll love her blog--she really writes some funny stuff!
DeleteI hope you enjoyed your visit! Come back for more! I'll try to be just as funny, I promise!
DeleteSarah, you are so funny! I was laughing just over your bio alone :) Thanks for bringing non-"boringness" to my Friday!
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment with Sarah! Although I WAS hoping she'd bring a grilled cheese sandwich over with her...
DeleteI just bought American cheese. I could make some!
DeleteOh I did have a laugh out loud moment with Sarah, great stuff. She is very funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm all on board for voting for you MM, won't miss a day I promise. You gotta win this thing :)
Everybody vote vote vote!!!! Get her in there!
DeleteAww thanks, RPD! I so appreciate you and your awesomeness!
DeleteOh Sarah!!! This was an absolute hoot! I will never look at Barbies the same!!! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and reading (hey folks, Motherhood is an Art has an awesome blog too, by the way, hint, hint!)
DeleteSarah is da bomb! Love this lady!!!
DeleteOMGosh...hilarious! That male barbie is kinda creepy on his own, making the comments even funnier. But ya gotta luv his fig leaf tho... A new follower from the Fun Friday Blog Hop. Would luv if you could stop by my blog as well.
ReplyDeleteAnne Marie
http://moanasuniquedesigns.blogspot.com/
I'll be happy to stop by your blog. Thanks for the follow--and yeah, the male Barbie IS creepy!
DeleteLove this! Found you as Follow Who? Social Hop! I'm following now!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by!
Deleteenjoyed... will check out sarah's blog. sounds like fun.
ReplyDeletevoted as well: good luck.
take care, slu
Thank you so much Slu for the vote--very kind of you, and yes, please do check out Sarah's blog! You'll really like it!
DeleteLOL! That was funny!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it! :-)
DeleteI agree! She is hilarious!
DeleteHappy to have you at the MTMmixer this week! We heart Sadder But Wiser too! She was one of our Sunday Sippers...hmmm...We'd love to add you to that list you should submit our form!! Anyway...thank for sharing the love. I'm gonna head over and cast my vote for you too!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to know you heart me! YES! Feature Menopausal Mother! That would be great!
DeleteThank you so much for the vote, Janene! And I'd love to be a Sunday Sipper! I will definitely check out the form! Thanks again!
DeleteVery funny post! The dolls really seal it. Where in the world did those apples in his crotch come from?
ReplyDeleteThe tree! The forbidden fruit! ;-) They were from the Barbie kitchen, of course! Glad you enjoyed the post!
DeleteI wondered the same thing....
DeleteLOLOLOL! Barbie, the Bible AND twitter! I never saw that one coming!
ReplyDeleteSarah is pure genius!
DeleteI don't know if genius is the word for it. I am married to an evil genius though! So glad you liked it!
DeleteLove this!!!
ReplyDeleteI love her humor, too. That's why I am honored to have her here today! :-)
DeleteKathy I'm glad you love it! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh this is too funny!!!!! "Nice apples!" Ahahahahaha!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThey are nice apples. He has no genitals you know...
DeleteSuch tiny apples though.....haha!
DeleteSarah sounds like an intersting person. I'll definitely go and check her out. By the way I voted for you at the "25 top funny moms" contest. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI hope you do come on over to my blog and like what you see! :-)
DeleteHey! Coming over from Circle of Moms to check out the competition. Love your blog and the dolls are right up my alley! I voted for ya.
ReplyDeleteYou rock! I'm headed over there now to vote for you, too. Thank you!!!
DeleteThat's funny, but I really wanted to say how much I like your new do. You look so pretty.
ReplyDeleteAwww so sweet of you to say! Thank you for the compliment! <3
DeleteHi, I am always happy to visit your blog.
ReplyDeleteI'll check Sarrah's blog as you suggested.
Have a nice weekend.
Please do--she is one talented lady!!
DeleteI have voted for you (No 274), good luck.
ReplyDeleteThank you VERY MUCH!!!!
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DeleteGlad I found ya, You are too funny!
ReplyDeleteGlad you stopped by! I'm going to hop over and check out your site next!
DeleteThis was a very heartwarming post! Thank you for this. I will definitely check out Sarah's blog as well. Thanks for the terrific introduction to her blog! I am your new follower and found you via blog hop. I blog at http://kiddiesfan.blogspot.ca/ Please feel free to visit me. See you around :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit and the follow! Yes, please do check out Sarah's blog.
DeleteI'm glad you liked my post and I will come check out your blog! :-)
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I love the biblical commentary and corresponding Barbie and Ken pictures. LOLOLOLOL. You have my vote. ♥
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Sarah did a great job with this! Thanks for the vote!
DeleteWho knew that Barbies could be so entertaining to us grown-ups! It's great to make someone's day. I'll be over to check out your blog-I like the name!
DeleteVery funny posting! I am also voting for you in the contest!
ReplyDeleteThank you SOOO much!! I'm feeling the love over here....
DeleteI'm thinking I need to use those Barbies more often...
DeleteHilarious! Voting!
ReplyDeleteI found you through the GFC blog hop and I am your newest follower. I would really appreciate it if you checked out my blog and considered following me as well.
Alise @ Readers In Wonderland
Thanks for the follow and the vote--I truly appreciate it!
DeleteGlad you liked it! I'll check it out too!
DeleteI needed this today! I've been nursing a sick husband and had to show this to him to cheer him up. It worked!
ReplyDeleteSo glad I found you through Bloggy Moms Blog Hop.
~Ann Harrison
http://www.annagainandagain.com
So glad to make your day and your husband's day a little brighter. Sarah is a wonderfully funny writer!
DeleteLaughter is the best medicine! :-)
DeleteOMG-LOVE this! Found you on the Bloghole...oh, I think I mean Bloghop, cause Bloghole sounds pretty..awful. Anyhoo, I'm pretty sure we're related, like 5th or 6th cousins or something cause we do think alike. And I checked out your girl Sarah and I think maybe we're all related....would that make us cousins thrice removed? (Can you believe I actually used the word 'thrice'? Geez).
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more ~ Sasha
More long lost relatives. YAY! :-)
DeleteWelcome to the family....er, nuthouse!
Deletei love your blog!! haha so happy i stumbled across your site!!
ReplyDeletenew follower :)
www.thebechtholts.blogspot.com
Thanks, Jenna! Hope you'll be back again!
DeleteThere's never a lack of entertainment here on Meno Mama. Love it! I voted for you. How can we not really?! Thank you for always delivering on your entertainment. You truly have a gift.
ReplyDeleteThank you for linking up with us on the Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop.
Karina
http://momintheusa.blogspot.com
Thanks, Karina--you are so kind! And I wouldn't miss the hop--you guys do a great job hosting it and it is always a success!
DeleteOh my goodness, that was absolutely brilliant! The hashtag use alone was hysterical! BTW, I have been voting for you daily- you are doing great! Wow!
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