The fly got an earful in my home this month. Lots of shenanigans going on around here because I have been mentally "absent." While I've had my nose buried in book edits, my family has taken over all the household duties. Jealous? Don't be. It was all fun and games until dinners became the mummified remnants unearthed from the bottom of the freezer drawer.
I'm thinking I might need to call in a HazMat team to give the bathroom a good bleach bath. This is what happens when the cat is away and the mice come out to play. I went from three occupants living at home to five….and one of those is a toddler. Hello, diapers and sippy cups! Life is hectic around here, but not a day goes by that I don't feel blessed. Once the book is released this fall, everything will return to normal. I hope. But for now, the fly on the wall is liven' large in Wackoville. Here's a few snippets of conversation he overheard this month:
"Why did you just squirt hair conditioner up my nose?"
"I thought your nose hairs needed to be detangled."
"Dare me to take a bite of this dog food?""If you do, I will never kiss you again."
"Our kids are like livestock…..they graze on food all day and they're full of bull."
"Please watch the dog when you take him out, or else he'll eat his poop."
"Don't worry---he doesn't eat the fresh ones. He only likes the day-old poops that have some crunch to them."
"They're talking about you on the news again."
"Huh? You mean the 100 pounds of marijuana they confiscated today?"
"Yeah---they said it was a 'big bust'."
"Mom, can I borrow twenty bucks?"
"I don't have it. I just donated all my money to the alpaca rescue fund."
"If you eat too much couscous, the grains become time bombs. Once they hit the bottom of your gut, they detonate."
"Why is there a two hour special on TV about A.D.D.? People with the disorder can't sit that long to watch it. They'll lose focus after the first five minutes."
"If you continue to annoy me, I'm going to turn you into a human bird feeder. I'll strap your butt to a chair and slather you in molasses and sunflower seeds."
"I hope you're not wearing that dirty shirt to the pet store. It looks like you've been rolling in grass and mud."
"Would you prefer that I wear my 'Cat, The Other White Meat' t-shirt wen I go to pick up the dog food?""When did I become the official pooper scooper in the family?"
"The same day you became the official toilet plunger."
"One of the things on my bucket list is to do the running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain."
"At your age, it will be more like running with the mules."
Last but not least, the fly got a real kick out of watching me make a fool of myself this week. Yes, I participated in the ALS ice bucket challenge and I'm sharing the video here so that you can laugh at my expense. Baby, that ice bath was COLD!!!!!
I lost both my aunt and my grandmother to ALS, so it's important to me to spread the word about this debilitating disease. If you can't handle having an ice bucket dumped on your head, please consider donating to the ALS fund. Better yet, be brave and do both! Here's where you can donate: http://www.alsa.org/donate/. Or here: http://www.ALS.NET
WANT MORE MENO MAMA? This week you can find my featured post on Humor Outcasts. Read it here: http://humoroutcasts.com/2014/eight-people-i-love-to-hate-at-the-gym/
Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:
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http://www.therowdybaker.com The Rowdy Baker
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/ Just A Little Nutty
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Mac has a great shirt wardrobe. You guys are a trip in the best possible way! Love it! And YES! The pugs prefer the crunch. Thank God, because I don't want to have to wipe the gooey stuff off their little flat faces. Ugh! Your little baby looks so innocent there...but the thought balloon is going "HA! I just ate poop and now I'm gonna lick your face!"
ReplyDeleteTHIS is why I love you so much, Linda----you totally understand the pug life! <3
DeleteIt occurs to me that these moments are what really make up the bulk of life....and the laughter in it!
ReplyDeleteThank God for these humorous moments, or else I'd turn into a puddle of blahhhh. My family keeps me going…and ALWAYS laughing. I feel blessed. XO
DeleteSuch a lively busy household! Got a kick out of the poop-eating pug. Good thing he only likes the crunchy ones! LOL
ReplyDeleteI know, right? But I still won't let him lick my face after he has been out!!!
DeleteTOO FUNNY!!! Hilarious as always. I definitely needed all the laughs!! THANK YOU!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou just can't make that stuff up. LOL
My family is definitely whack. Hugs to you, honey, and so sorry for your loss! XO
DeleteFor many many years my cousin was the leading ALS researcher in this country. I not only love that fighting this disease is getting such a huge infusion of cash, but I love that the movement started in my home, Boston.
ReplyDeleteWow---impressive! The donation numbers have sky rocketed, all due to these silly ice bucket challenges. It's about time ALS was in the spotlight. I saw what my mom went through taking care of her sister. To this day, mom still cries every time she talks about it. She said it is a horrid way to die, and it's so sad that with all of our technology, we STILL have no cure for ALS, cancers, etc. Heartbreaking.
DeleteThat bucket of water lasted forever!! You are amazing, Marcia <3
ReplyDeleteI love that your dog has a Poop Preference. (day old). My Henry won't eat his own poop, just Lila's. What's that about?
Enjoy that houseful of love!
The Hubs did the pouring. He said he went slow because there were big chunks of ice in the bucket and he didn't want them to hit my head. I say he had a completely different motive for pouring it so slowly…..
Deletelol on the cat t-shirt
ReplyDeleteIt evokes a not great memory (from the days I when I worked at the court house many , many years ago) but I will spare you the details (you're welcome). :)
Oh yuck! I'm too afraid to ask!! Bleck!
DeleteI love your Fly on the Wall series... you always make me laugh... your family is hysterical ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Launna! I'm still saving a seat for you at the table----you're welcome over any time!
DeleteLove reading this every month - your family is so funny! Great job on the ice bucket challenge - I'm thinking I'll just donate money :)
ReplyDeleteHa-ha! It was sooooo cold! But seriously, no need to do the ice bucket challenge---if you can donate that would be EXCELLENT! Thanks!
DeleteMarcia, I adored this peek into your world. "Cat, the other white meat" t-shirt tickles me. I have a bumper sticker over my desk that reads "Looking for your cat? Check under my back tires!". I know some folks will hate it, but I stand my ground. Not a cat person. My son told me he's going to get one when he moves out...I shrieked and told him "son! why couldn't you just be homosexual, or something simple!". He hates my fur spewing husky leaving fur EVERYWHERE! On another note, I lost my mom to MS, which is kind of similar to ALS, at least symptomatically. I feel your pain. I want to see an end to these horrible, debilitating diseases. Great job with the Ice Bucket Challenge! Thank you for helping raise awareness of ALS, and the need to help fund the research. Hugs. You sound like a busy lady these days, nice to see you squeeze that French-firming treatment in!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! So happy to see you here commenting, Dawn! You are correct----MS is just as bad. I have a cousin who is currently battling it. Funny news though about your son wanting a cat!!!
DeleteIt feels good to come to u er blog after so long.I can see lot of updates.Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Rohit!
DeleteThese blogs sound bloody interesting and funny and I like interesting and funny blogs and wish at times I had either.............lol
ReplyDeleteI totally appreciate that you always stop by for a read, Jo-Anne That means a lot to me! XO
DeleteALS is such a horrifying disease. I'm glad it's getting some much-needed attention. Years ago, I worked with an MS support group, and a gal newly-diagnosed with ALS joined our group because she didn't know where else to turn. As bad as MS can be, ALS is so much worse. As if I need to tell you. You know far better than I do.
ReplyDeleteLove your fly-on-the-wall conversations. Your family sounds a lot like mine.
Hahaha! We are kindred spirits then--and it makes me feel a whole lot better about my family to know I'm not alone! :)
DeleteGosh, you are only in your 30's? You are so fucked.
ReplyDeleteHA! I WISH I was only in my thirties!
DeleteI'm so sorry for your losses. In our family, it's Alzheimer's. It is tremendously difficult to watch loved ones decline.
ReplyDeleteI'm just hoping the the rest of my family is able to escape the disease.
DeleteHow do you get ANYthing done with all that fun going on? I wouldn't be able to concentrate at all. We had a poop eater too. You really want to watch out for the burps. But then, you probably already know that.
ReplyDeleteOMG the burps!!!!! ACK!
DeleteIt's those fresh out the back end poops dog breath that will really water your eyes up, Marcia!! Your baby so reminds me of Frank from the movie M.I.B. 2 lol!!! :) You are hysterically funny as ever! :)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha everyone tells me that!
DeleteAll of your Fly on the Wall posts make me want to come hang out at your house! So funny! I'm going to remember the human birdfeeder threat because GOOD. Love love love your video. I did the ice bucket challenge this week too, and let my 5yo dump the water on me. He loved it, and he wants to do it.
ReplyDeleteIt was awfully cold, wasn't it? BRRRRR! Glad I did it but…..NEVER AGAIN, hahahaha!
Delete"Mom, can I borrow twenty bucks?"
ReplyDelete"I don't have it. I just donated all my money to the alpaca rescue fund."
you. always. make. me. :) SMILE. xx
Glad to bring a little humor to your day! :)
DeleteThis is my favorite: "Why did you just squirt hair conditioner up my nose?"
ReplyDelete"I thought your nose hairs needed to be detangled."
hahahahaha!!!
My adult daughter did that to her dad! I was DYING LAUGHING!
DeleteHi Marcia! My esteem runs higher for you now...an ice bath in the morning? Oh man, that would just blow my whole day. (I am not a morning person to start with!) Congrats for completing the ALS challenge, especially because of your family history. There is so much money and good will going to this worthy cause.
ReplyDeletePhew. I thought the dog was eating the FRESH poop, and got worried. Day old? Nah...not worried anymore :)
How's the editing going??
Ceil
Ha-ha! Thanks Ceil! The editing is going sloooooow because I'm making so many changes. And I keep getting side tracked by other projects that also have early September deadlines. I'm looking at October now before this book gets released.
DeleteNever a dull moment under your roof, Marcia. I'm still struggling to dismiss the eating crunchy dog-poo comment. And if you must eat dog food, I believe Pedigree Chum is a superior dish!
ReplyDeleteI think I scar you with gross visuals every time you read my blog, hahahaha!
DeleteAlways a party at Marcia's house!!!! Thanks for the invite.
ReplyDeleteAnytime, Rena!
DeleteYou're a better woman than I, Gunga Din!!! And thank you for NOT naming me to the challenge :)
ReplyDeleteThere's always a second time……hahahaha!
DeleteGreat Article. it's Really Helpful tutorial. Thanks for Sharing Helpful Tips.
ReplyDeleteLooks like y'all are having lots of fun. Laughter does make life wonderful.
ReplyDeleteYou bet it does!
DeleteThe hubster was nominated and was nice enough not to nominate me. Someone he did challenge, however, may not be so kind. It's a good thing our friendships are solid. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was soooo cold!!!
DeleteI totally want to be a fly on your wall!
ReplyDeleteCome on over!
Delete