Friday, November 1, 2019

How To Repurpose Your Old Underwear Into DIY Home Decor

     Every time I drive past the landfill in our town, I think about all the stuff people waste without trying to think of clever ways to recycle. Yesterday when I was cleaning out my drawers, I had the same thought while filling up a garbage bag with my old underwear.

     Obviously, no one else wants my ratty underwear (dear God, I hope not!) but what if I were to find a useful way to recycle my panties? What if EVERYONE chose to recycle their underwear instead of tossing them into the trash bin and clogging up the landfill?

     I have a few ideas that just might work for repurposing your old undies. And before you ask, yes, this is the sort of stuff that keeps me awake at 3:00 a.m. while the rest of my family is fast asleep....



Lampshade: If your underwear happens to be a size XXL (and preferably red), you'll have enough fabric to make a decorative cover for your lampshade. Sew a few tassels around the bottom edge and Voila! Chic decor in your boudoir!

Throw Pillows: If you want to jazz up a dull sofa, your underwear will make a creative cover for an old throw pillow. Use a Bedazzler to add rhinestones for extra flair.

Shower Curtain: If your old underwear has several stains, you can quickly turn them into a leopard print design by circling each spot with a permanent marker. If the president can get away with Sharpiegate, you can totally do it to your shower curtain!

Quilt: Cut a square out of each pair of used underwear and sew them together to make a 4x6 blanket. It will be a hodgepodge piece of history so unique that you'll want to hang it on your living room wall. Every square on the quilt tells a story: "The pink lacy one at the top is from the panties I wore on my wedding night. The square next to it is from a pair of maternity underwear I was wearing at Kroeger's when I was pregnant and my water broke."

Sofa Cover: You'll need at least fifty pairs of underwear for this clever DIY trick. Bleach them first and then tie-dye the fabric for that retro Woodstock look. If you want to add more pizazz to your hippy hideaway, thong underwear strung together will make a fabulous window valance to match your sofa.

Baby Onesie: Men's cotton briefs are perfect for this DIY project, preferably in baby neutral colors such as soft gray or yellow. *Natural brown is not recommended.

Placemats: Add extra spice to your dinner table by sewing floral panties together for the perfect summer garden look. Wait until your guests have finished their lamb shish kebobs before telling them they ate dinner on your old underwear.

Dog blanket: No need to wash the underwear before sewing several pairs into a blanket for your pet. Dogs love that musky human odor.

Winter Cap: Underwear already has an elastic band that should fit snugly around any head. Just attach brightly colored pompoms over each leg hole, and you'll have the perfect Secret Santa gift for your next office Christmas party!


If you found this article helpful, stay tuned for our upcoming feature, "How To Repurpose Your Old Bras Into DIY Kitchen Gadgets."


**** Want more Meno Mama? In case you didn't hear me screaming and jumping up and down last week, I had my very first essay published in THE NEW YORK TIMES!!! You can read it here:  https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/18/well/family/raising-a-twinless-twin.html



Friday, October 18, 2019

A Dream Come True

     Today, the top item on my writer's bucket list came true. My first (and very personal) essay was just published in THE NEW YORK TIMES!  My life is now complete. ***Please refer to the link below and visit the website when you get a chance. Time to pop open some bubbly and celebrate!

 https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/18/well/family/raising-a-twinless-twin.html



Friday, October 11, 2019

Specialty Beers For The Geriatric Generation

     When I first met my husband, he was not a beer drinker. In fact, on our first date, he ordered a freakin' WINE SPRITZER (it was the 80s, what can I say?). Not surprising that after four kids and 35 years of marriage, my husband finally learned to appreciate beer.

     But not just any beer. He likes the good stuff---expensive ones that come from small craft breweries with weird names like "Pink Sloth Alehouse," or "The Tacky Tongue Brewery."

     I haven't been a fan of beer since my first college keg party when I spent the majority of my evening puking in a random bathroom at the Sigma Nu house. My husband, on the other hand, has sworn his allegiance to craft beer and is certain that he will die in his favorite recliner---tv remote in one hand, a beer in the other.

     That may be true, but by the time he becomes part of the geriatric generation, beer brands will have drastically changed. And hopefully, there will be a market for brews designed especially for old farts like my husband. I already have a few beer brands in mind that just might appeal to him.....



Gassy Lassy Ale: A highly fermented, flatulent-inducing blonde ale with hints of sulfur and last night's bean burrito, sure to clear out the dining hall at the retirement community. One sip, you'll rip.

Domestic Dementia Dark: This 11% ALC/VOL dark brew with nutty undertones is enough to make you forget who your president is and propel you back to the good ol' days when you wore sneakers with actual laces instead of orthopedic shoes with velcro straps.

Incontinent IPA: Also known as the "I-P-A lot beer," specially handcrafted for seniors who have embraced their incontinence. Best served in a chilled bedpan. *Watch for our latest BOGO sale---Buy one six-pack of Geriatric IPA, get a disposable catheter kit for free!

Loose As A Goose Lager: A lager made with bottom-fermented yeast to tighten your saggy butt and lift your testicles so high you'll belt out a Mozart aria with ease. Drink more than three, and you'll think you've bathed in the Fountain Of Youth (even if your face is still as wrinkly as an elephant's backside).

Poopin' Porter: A dark, thick, odiferous brew developed in London with well-hopped beers made from brown malt. Detectable notes of roasted coffee beans immersed in stewed prune juice. *Not recommended for use during intimate encounters with people you've met on SeniorsOnly/Match.com/


Sleepy Stout: A sweet, full-bodied, slightly roasted ale from England that is rich in calming lavender and tryptophan. Drink this beer while listening to Zamfir, and the dense brew will have you yearning for a hooded Snuggie and a memory foam pillow.

Brittle Bones Bock: A German beer created during the Late Middle Ages when people were dying from the Black Plague. A healthy dose of calcium, magnesium, and Vitamin D has been added to combat osteoporosis, swelling, and decreased range of motion. Bold hints of mothball accompanied by a morphine aftertaste.

Peter Pilsner: An arousing brew enhanced with Cialis to ensure a lasting and satisfying outcome. Guaranteed to give you the confidence you need to flirt with the thirty-something Activities Director while she's instructing you on the art of playing Bocce.

Get Off My Lawn Lite Beer: Less calories, less taste, and even less friends after you've had a few. Great to leisurely sip on the front porch while compiling a list of complaints on your phone's  Next Door Neighbor App.

Mysterious Aches And Pains Malt: A predominately pale ale infused with CBD oil to alleviate sore muscles and arthritic pain. Your achiness will quickly disappear along with your dentures and your memory. *Disclaimer: This beer has 65.7% alcohol content and is not recommended for use during geriatric beer pong at the American Legion Post....unless you're planning an extended stay in your recliner. *


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? You can find me this week on NEXT AVENUE discussing the benefits of a Zumba workout. Read it here: https://www.nextavenue.org/benefits-zumba-workouts/?fbclid=IwAR1z4Wx-DmsXnF2yWDN9Up5Tels4aHKbnV17uV26bt0klrWPbQLX2fGoW7Q


Tuesday, October 8, 2019

How To Treat Urinary Incontinence By Strengthening Pelvic Floor Muscles

     I know many menopausal women who have complained of urinary incontinence after reaching their fifties. It's more common than most people realize, and the symptoms are treatable when done correctly. The secret is to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.

     Today on the blog I'm sharing news from InControl Media of an innovative treatment option from Attain with a non-implantable muscle stimulator that can be bought over the counter  for the convenience of those who suffer from incontinence:


"Today, we’re inundated with TV ads promoting the use of pads and adult diapers. We hear about mesh surgery going awry and about meds being prescribed. Urinary tract and bladder control can be one of the most embarrassing aspects of aging. Many people who suffer from urinary incontinence can truly suffer in silence and embarrassment and as a result, are confined to their homes.

There are several types of incontinence including urge, stress and mixed incontinence which can cause accidents or unintended leaks when coughing, sneezing, laughing, jumping or lifting, and can occur any time or at any place. 

Fortunately, there’s a new, non-surgical solution to treat incontinence and eliminate the need for pads and diapers altogether. It's called, Attain and is the first over the counter non-implantable muscle stimulator designed to help treat incontinence by exercising the pelvic floor muscles. It is a small, painless, easy-to-use medical device for people to self-treat in the privacy of their own homes. And, many respond well to pelvic-floor electrical stimulation and biofeedback as a first-line treatment, before considering surgery or medication.

We go to the gym, take cycling and Pilates classes to exercise our calves and abs but shouldn’t forget to strengthen our pelvic floor muscles too. Attain provides a guided exercise program to solve incontinence at the source. Muscle stimulation at specific frequencies in an alternating manner increases pelvic floor muscle strength, calming the detrusor muscle and eliciting a full, deep muscle contraction, providing neuromuscular re-training. The lighted biofeedback graph and visual cues guide the user through a series of variable timed, contractions along with a relaxation phase, much like a physical therapy session. A customizable probe inflates to be “comfortably snug,” placing the stimulation in full contact with the vaginal wall ensuring a deep muscle contraction with a comfortable, effective stimulation delivery. A probe provides active resistance for a full muscle contraction, re-positioning musculature into a resting position between contractions.

Dr. Arnold Kegel, developed exercises to strengthen pelvic floor muscles in 1948 and still, physicians to this day remind their patients, “do your Kegels!” Kegel exercises have been the first-line treatment, but most people experience frustration because they unknowingly don’t perform the Kegels effectively or consistently, which leads to no improvement in symptoms. Attain electrical stimulation with biofeedback therapy is an effective tool to do your Kegel’s for you and improve bladder control.

Talk with your doctor, urogynecologist or medical team about your incontinence and ask them about Attain before agreeing to surgery, meds or relying on those embarrassing pads or diapers."



InControl Medical, LLC, is a pelvic health company focusing on urinary and fecal incontinence. The company’s philosophy is that a first-line treatment should focus on improving the strength and support of the pelvic floor to restore continence naturally. InControl Medical is so confident in the effectiveness of its products, the company offers a Performance, money back Guarantee.


Friday, October 4, 2019

Menopausal Women Are So HOT! Guest Post by Theresa Wiza

     On the blog today I have my dear friend and fellow writer, Theresa Wiza, who is here to share her experience with menopause and to show us some really cute t-shirt designs for hot (as in HOT FLASHING) women like us! ***Samples of shirts are below the post***



Menopausal Women are SO HOT! Quick disclaimer – I didn’t know I was in menopause until my gynecologist told me I was post-menopausal. Surprise! So let me take you back to the time I was in my early 30s, more than half a lifetime ago. My younger sister and I were discussing our sporadic periods and mild hot flashes – you know – the difference between mild and hot versions of hot sauce? Like that. We would sit in restaurants and periodically remove our jackets and put them back on, take them off, put them back on, and repeat the process every time we got together. We even discussed our thoughts considering the possibility that we were experiencing peri-menopause. Was that even possible? Weren’t we too young to be in peri-menopause? We had no reference point, because our mother, who had a complete hysterectomy in her 30s, never experienced menopause. Fast-forward to the year I turned 48. I awoke one night drenched in sweat. OK, now I know I’m menopausal, because I had heard about night sweats, and I was obviously having one. So I made an appointment with my gynecologist, and after she tested me, I learned I was post-menopausal. Because I was only 48, she tested me again, and yep, same result – POST-menopausal! I was flabbergasted! That was it?! One night of night sweats? You mean menopause is OVER for me and I’m POST-menopausal already? How lucky could I be? I’m never lucky! How did I get away with only one night of night sweats? No more hot flashes? Yay! Yippee! I’m so excited! And I never again experienced another night of night sweats – of awakening with sheets drenched in sweat – thank you, God! But, alas, the effects of menopause were not over – not by a long shot – not by 20 years (so far, anyway – add dramatically disgusted face here), because what continued were HOT FLASHES, not to the point of soaking the sheets with sweat at night, but to periodic waves of sweltering heat that NEVER ended! And all I could think was, NOT FAIR! Maybe the reason I’m still experiencing menopausal hot flashes is that I have always been HOT! People could be sitting around me wrapped in blankets, and I would be trying to figure out how not to be naked and still feel comfortable. A stash of sweaters from the early 70s, when I was in my 20s, haven’t seen daylight since the 70s. Worn only on days when temperatures were sub-zero and I had to walk a couple of blocks to work, I’d get to work, remove all of my outer clothing and bake the rest of the day. Those sweaters are still in perfect condition. I keep them, because I’ve heard that little old ladies get really cold, and I don’t want to have to purchase new sweaters when I already have a bunch in perfectly good condition. Though I’m now 68, I am apparently not yet old enough to wear them. My body heat problem is so bad that wherever I go, I have to find out at what temperature people like to keep their thermostats so I can dress accordingly. My mother and one of my sisters are always cold, so I avoid them. Just kidding. I wear tank tops or similar no-sleeve clothing when I’m in their homes. Family occasions, no matter where we all meet, are usually very crowded, and I’m especially sensitive to body heat. Put a bunch of people in a room together and my body’s temperature rises about 1 degree for every person there. So when the temperature in the room is 70, and you add 40 people to the mix, I’m so hot, you could roast a meal on me (I hope you weren’t eating when you read that last sentence). If you attended those gatherings, you’d find me grabbing paper plates and fanning myself with them or running outside barefoot in the snow just to cool off. You’d see my face dripping with sweat, and you’d hear me repeating over and over, “I’m so hot!” One day, not long ago, after hearing from his mother, for probably the millionth time, “I’m so hot,” my son, who was standing near me, blurted out, “Don’t flatter yourself!” After I burst with laughter, I thought, Wow, what a great idea for a menopause t-shirt! So, with a picture in mind about how I wanted the shirt to look, I asked my creatively cartoony cousin to design my menopause shirt for me. And he did! So Ladies, if you experience hot flashes, remember that you’re not just hot – you’re SO hot, you’re practically on fire! And now may I present to you the menopause shirt that will announce to everyone just how hot you really are (but don’t flatter yourself).



TO ORDER:

"Gutsy" T-shirt: http://bit.ly/GutsyWomen

"Courageous" T-shirt: http://bit.ly/CourageusFeisty

"I'm So Hot" T-shirt: http://bit.ly/SoHotMenopause

BIO: Theresa is first and foremost a mom, grandma, and great-grandma. When she's not writing and crocheting, she's taping her new YouTube channel, Youthful Aging for REAL Women, or she's designing t-shirts, mugs, tote bags and more. She always ends her posts with, "find a little joy and sprinkle it everywhere." 
***You can find Theresa's YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0g5TV_PpWQ5ESHEbDRaXkg


Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Top Tips For Planning The Perfect Multi-Generational Family Holiday

     Today on the blog I have my guest Rosana Beechum here to discuss her top tips for planning a multi-generational holiday. If you are planning some trips for the upcoming holidays with your family, I think you'll find that this article will come in handy!



Top Tips for Planning the Perfect Multi-Generational Family Holiday
Planning a holiday with your entire family can be incredibly rewarding but difficult. Taking just your family away can be difficult enough but it can become even more difficult when you decide to also invite grandparents and in-laws. Your children might adore having their cousins to play with but things can become a little more difficult when trying to get everything planned out. Here are some top tips to make planning your multi-generational family holiday that little bit easier. 
Could a Hotel Be Right?
When you have a big group, one of the most difficult decisions you will have to make will be whether you want to stay in a hotel or opt for self-catering accommodation. There are many advantages and disadvantages to both. 
With a hotel, you have everything you need right there. If you are staying at a resort, chances are there will be a kid’s club you can send the children to so the adults can have some relaxation time alone. You can also choose to stay somewhere all-inclusive. This means that you won’t have to worry about food or drink and everyone will be able to help themselves as they want to. 
However, you may feel like you do not have enough privacy when staying at a hotel. If any of your children want to share a room with their cousins, they may not like having to stay in a hotel room with their cousins. You may also encounter problems if someone does not want to eat the hotel’s food or go on one of the planned activity days. Sometimes, a little more flexibility is needed.


Is Self-Catering Better?
If a hotel is not right for this trip, a better option for your family might be a self-catering villa. It is even possible to find several self-catering villas grouped together in a shared compound with their own pool. This might be the best option if you want every family going to have their own space but still have a communal area for you to all come together during the day. 
Having access to multiple rooms also allows your children to decide who they want to share a room with. If they have a particularly close bond with one of their cousins, you can easily let them stay in a room together.
You might think that staying somewhere like this could be quite expensive but it can come to be quite affordable. With three or more sets of paying adults, you might be able to split the cost of a fairly upmarket villa. This could give you a tad more luxury than you could maybe afford if it was just your immediate family going on holiday. 
The obvious drawback with a private villa is the fact that you will all need to pay for your own food. Decide early on what you want to do for meals. If everyone is going to pitch in to help make food, you should put together a kitty for the money and then organize a rota to make sure that the workload is properly taken care of. It might be a boring task for when you are supposed to be on holiday but it is extremely important and the sooner it can be addressed, the better.

Getting to the Airport
Not a lot of people think about how they are going to get to the airport during a big family holiday but it can be incredibly important, especially if you are going to be traveling together through somewhere busy like Heathrow. Some people would just prefer to book an airport transfer but that might not be ideal depending on where you are starting from. If you have a long journey on either side of the flights, or you are all meeting at the airport from different places, it might be better for you to look at Heathrow airport parking services. Even in this busy place, parking at Heathrow airport can be a doddle if you know how to plan it correctly. 
By pre-booking your Terminal 5 parking, all you need to do is arrive on the day and drive directly to your designated parking space. No matter how much luggage you have or how many people are with you, you can just park up and then head off into the airport. Consider using these services if you are searching for the perfect way of minimizing the stress of the airport from the second you arrive there; no matter how many people you happen to be traveling with.
Planning Activities
When you are on holiday with a big group, it is important that you plan a lot of activities to stop everyone from becoming bored. However, with such a big group it can be difficult to decide what to do. 
On any days where you want to organize an excursion, try to arrange three options. Two groups will go away and each do a different activity. Anyone who doesn’t want to take part can just stay at the villa or hotel instead. This is an easy way to ensure that everyone will have the chance to do something fun. There is also always going to be someone who would rather stay behind in the sun and this allows them the option to do so. 
This holiday will be about spending time together as a family but enforcing this rigorously is going to result in frustrations and the potential for arguments. You need to work out precisely the right balance between spending time together and time apart to best be able to capitalize on this. 
Remember to Relax
Trying to pull together this gargantuan effort can be extremely difficult. Whilst you might feel overwhelmed at times, it won’t be long before you are on holiday. If you feel like you are being left with the majority of the planning, reach out to some of the other people coming with you on the holiday. It is your vacation too so you need to make sure that you have plenty of opportunities to take advantage of the time to relax. 
If you are particularly close with one of the other families going on this trip, make sure you ask them to give you a helping hand. This is incredibly important even if it will be your partner’s family instead of yours. You cannot be expected to organize everything for the holiday. If you want to arrange the flights, ask someone else to organize the accommodation, and someone else to look into car rental or some other service you might need while you are there. It might be easier than you think to get everything properly arranged. 

Once everything has been arranged, you can settle back and prepare for your holiday properly. Remember why you are going on holiday; it certainly won’t be to run around and check up on everyone else. No matter how you want to do it, make sure that you take a little extra time to chill out and enjoy yourself. You have worked hard to pull this holiday together and you certainly deserve the chance to relax.

Contact your relatives and start organizing your first big family holiday together now. It might be the best holiday you ever have!


BIO:

Rosana is a Business Management graduate from the United Kingdom, who is a mother of 2 that she adores greatly. She enjoys writing informative articles from her curiosity to explore meaningful topics and share her own knowledge on raising children.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Fly On The Wall With The Elf Lord

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings,. hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four brave bloggers are inviting you into their homes for a peek of what goes on behind closed doors.

     At the Doyle house, we're gearing up for fall festivities. I have a birthday coming up next month---the BIG 60! Yikes! But I plan on celebrating it like I'm still 30. I also love Halloween! Candy corn is my jam, so you can bet I'm stocking up on it right now. November brings my favorite holiday of all---THANKSGIVING. I'm blessed to have all my kids and grandkids living nearby, so the holiday is always a beautiful, sentimental time for me. Honestly, it's having grandchildren that make the holidays even more special. I love my girls and spend most weekends with them. Recently, my oldest granddaughter took an interest in the Titanic. We watched the movie together and then I gave her the Heart Of The Ocean necklace. Her eyes LIT UP! My kids and my grandkids are my life, so you can understand why I am so EXCITED for the holidays to get here!!


     In the meantime, I'm still taking note of the odd bits of conversation that go on around here with the hubs and the kids when they come over.. And I'm totally sure that nosy fly on the wall has been entertained by what he has heard around here.....


"You look really tired today. You have bags under your eyes"
"Yeah, I didn't sleep well last night."
"Oh, so that's why United Airlines called---they want their bags back."

"I'll be happier at 75 because by then I will have a hip replacement, knee replacement, and no more pain."
"Too bad they can't give you a memory replacement."

"How about we try the Nine Dragons restaurant?"
"Which one is that?"
"The place with the red dragon on the roof."
"Only one? No thanks."
"Why?"
"That's a bad omen. It means eight of them are already dead."

"Oh my God, your fart is smelling up the whole room!"
"Yes, I know because I can't stop laughing!!"
"If that's what real laughing gas is, then I don't want any the next time I go to the dentist."


"Daddy, did you have a bad day at work?"
"Yeah, actually, I did. My boss bitched at me plus I forgot to bring my lunch. I also cut my finger on a mower blade. It really hurt."
"Awww poor guy. I guess you should have called the WHAAAAambulance."


"You always want more pugs. I'm going to refer to you as the Pug Queen from now on."
"Oh yeah? Since you're so interested in collecting Christmas elves, does that make you an Elf Lord?"

"What's your mom doing?"
"She's online buying illegal exotic pets."
"Oh, okay....wait, WHAT?"

"Why are all the photos on your phone so tiny?"
"Because everything on me is tiny."
"Well, I know one thing for sure thing that's tiny...."
"That's NOT funny."


     Maybe Elf Lord is a bit insecure, but you know what they say.....the bigger the elf, the bigger the.........


Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

Baking In A Tornado                  https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope             https://batteredhope.blogspot.com
Menopausal Mother                     http://www.menopausalmom.com/
Spatulas on Parade                     https://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com
                      



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