July has been another fun month at the Doyle abode, starting off with a BANG (July 4th fireworks, of course!) when our family gathered to celebrate Independence Day. My oldest daughter hosts a July 4th party every year at her condo---the views are spectacular where she lives near the Beach and on the 17th floor. We could see dozens of fireworks from all over the county. Family, friends, and fireworks.....it just doesn't get any better than that. Well yeah, and LOTS of deviled eggs.
We also spent much of the past month watching the FIFA World Cup. We were rooting for Brazil and sad to see them lose, but congrats to France. At least it gave me an excuse to indulge in some sinful French pastries after the game!
My kids have been spending quite a bit of their summer traveling, which means more alone time with my husband. Yeah, I know what you're thinking....but the "fly on the wall" is never allowed to buzz around in the boudoir. He has, however, heard some of the weird conversations I've had recently with my husband:
"It sucks getting old. Rolling over in bed in the middle of the night is now a half-hour process just to get from my left side to my right."
"I swear to God, if that damn pet rabbit nips at me one more time, I'm making rabbit stew out of him!"
"How did I gain these extra pounds? Pretty soon, the only thin thing on me will be my fingers."
"Do you need more floss to get that food out of your molars?"
"No, I need a ROPE."
"Go to the tanning salon with me for a spray tan, she said. It will be fun, she said....what she DIDN"T say was that I would end up looking like an orange Oompa Loompa."
"I'm having a hard time figuring out my way around this DMV website to make an appointment. None of it makes sense to me. I'm gonna take a break with some rum and see what Captain Morgan has to say."
"Captain Morgan says you're an idiot."
"The repairman was here to look at our broken dishwasher. He said we need to rinse our plates off better before putting them in the dishwasher."
"If I have to wash them first, what is the point of owning a dishwasher?"
"I was thinking of baking a potato for dinner tonight."
"Idaho?"
"No, you-da-ho."
"I burn about 1000 calories every time I struggle to fit into this pair of Spandex."
"Guess what? My female finch just laid an egg in her cage!"
"So....we're having omelets tomorrow for breakfast?"
"How's the memoir writing going?"
"Really good! I'm writing a section right now about my childhood flaws."
"That must be a long chapter....."
***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? This past week I was featured on the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop with a humor story about my closet. You can read it here: http://humorwriters.org/2018/07/13/a-message-from-my-closet/
Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:
Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado. com
Menopausal Mother http://www.menopausalmom.com/
Never Ever Give Up Hope https://batteredhope.blogspot. com
Spatulas on Parade https:// spatulasonparade.blogspot.com
Paradoxical Suds https://paradoxicalsuds. wordpress.com