Friday, August 30, 2013

It's A Blogger's Life For Me!

   
      This week Meno Mama is celebrating her two year blogiversary. When I gave birth to this baby, I never dreamed how much it would impact my life. I nursed it through the first year, watched it crawl, walk and now this baby is running full steam ahead like The Little Engine That Could.
     We've seen so many changes in the past year, this blog and I. We've made internet friends across the globe and have been guests in places we never imagined possible.  The outpouring of love my blogger baby has received validates every dream I ever had of being a writer.
     As my blog grows, it demands more and more of my attention, like a prepubescent teen preparing for the first year of middle school. It's hard for me to be away from it for long periods at a time--I get twitchy and distracted, wondering how my baby is fairing in the blogosphere without having me at the helm of my computer 24/7.
     We started out 2013 with a bang by ranking in the top 25 of the Circle Of Moms blog contest. Other highlights included featured posts on popular sites such as (direct links to posts provided):

Scary Mommy @ www.scarymommy.com/menopause/

In The Powder Room @ www.inthepowderroom.com/read/momsrock/2013-07-6-good-things-about-raising-teenage-boys.html

The Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop @ humor.org/2013/07/22/coffee-with-erma-2/

Generation Fabulous @ generationfabulous.com/7-deadly-sins-menopause-2/

I also wrote one rare, serious post that dealt with an unexpected confession from Menopausal Mother when I was a guest blogger over at DeBieHive's Writer's Workshop. You can read that special post here:

http://debiehive.blogspot.com/2013/08/writers-workshop-wednesday-mirror.html


     Am I addicted to blogging? Yes. Do I regret it? No. My only regret is that I didn't discover  this wonderful, creative outlet for self expression years ago. I'm loving the blogger lifestyle, and here's why:


* I have high hopes that I will sell a book one day and earn enough money to give The Hubs what he has always dreamed of having: a yard gnome farm.



* I've learned to get creative with my cooking. A meal should only take five minutes to prepare, so that I don't miss a moment of blogging. My family has learned to like peanut butter and canned sardines on a bagel. Microwaved.

* Blogging has become such an addiction,  I might need to invent a "bloggerette patch" to wear on my upper arm. Watch for it in an upcoming infomercial.

* Termites could chew my wood frame home down to kindling for a S'mores bonfire and I'd still be laughing about it on my blog.


* I pimp myself out for new blog followers by promising tickets to the senior citizens paintball tournament (extra points for hitting the colostomy bag).

* It's true I have to deal with Irritable Spouse Syndrome, but I've cured this disease by buying all the premium channels on cable, including Goats Gone Wild and Llama Likkers.


* I've been known to write down blog post ideas on gum wrappers, Kotex pads, bar receipts and toilet paper in the ladies' room. That's what I call true dedication.

* I've made so many friends through the blogosphere. We share virtual cups of coffee, donuts and margaritas...so much so that along with my virtual hangovers, I gain virtual weight. Next week, I'll start my virtual diet.

* I get inspired while I blog and come up with some creative ideas, such as the "toilo-chair." Pee and blog simultaneously without missing a word for a bathroom break.

* I'm thrilled as long as my page view numbers remain higher than the numbers in the mating cycle of a beer-bellied sloth...or the albino tree frogs in Tunisia.


* I have carpal tunnel funnel cake syndrome. Every time I blog, I crave funnel cakes.


     All kidding aside folks, there are some very special bloggers and Facebook fans out there who have become dear friends to me this past year. They have inspired me to reach new heights and break the glass ceiling. You know who you are---I thank you and love you with all of my heart.
     Here's to another year of great cheer, good beer and keeping you near!




Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Wacky Wednesday Writers: Guest Post By Snarkfest

 
     Today on Wacky Wednesday Writers I'm featuring a very special, funny writer who knows how to keep her "snarklings" grinning from ear to ear. Please welcome one of my favorite, humorous bloggers---Teri Biebel of http://snarkfestblog.blogspot.com. I got acquainted with Teri during the Circle Of Moms contest this year and found myself stalking her Facebook fan page regularly for my daily dose of laughter. Teri is known for her funny status updates in the form of songs describing the morning chaos of getting her teenage daughters on the school bus each day (which they tend to miss frequently).
     Teri not only writes an entertaining blog, she is also a contributor to the popular book, " I Just Want to Pee Alone." I'm proud to call myself a "Snarkling," and you will too, once you start reading the witty writings of this funny lady!



Why I’m Glad I Watched the VMA’s with my Daughters

I watched with mixed thoughts Sunday night’s VMA’s. Now, why they still show this awards ‘ceremony’ on MTV or VH1 is beyond me, because I haven’t seen either network show a video since I wore shoulder pads and leg warmers, but whatever. Both my daughters are coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs over One Direction, so it was, like, a law that we had to watch. Here is my take on the evening’s highlights and lowlights and the reason why I’m glad I watched.
We have tickets to go see Austin Mahone next month, and my youngest also bought herself a VIP pass for a meet and greet with him. His performance left me thinking maybe I should’ve just bought one ticket for her and I should maybe go nap in the car. Underwhelming. And is it just me or doesn’t anyone ever sing their songs live when doing a live performance anymore? 
Lady Gaga was actually really tame (as far as Lady Gaga goes). I suppose I’m getting immune to seeing skin, because I wasn’t really all that shocked at her seashell bikini top and thong. My girls, however, thought she looked like a skank. Score one for my girls.
When One Direction came onstage to present the award for best something or other, and Harry Styles was talking, they panned to his ex, Taylor Swift (for the 352nd time of the evening) and both my girls were horrified to see her mouth the word “Shut the f*** up”. Score, Taylor. Nice and classy. Both my girls were sooooo impressed. Not.
When Miley “I’m not Hannah anymore” Cyrus came out waving her tongue and pleasuring herself, both my girls were horrified. Then, when she got even MORE naked and grinded against (or twerked, sorry, my hip lingo skills went out with the word ‘fly’) Robin Thicke (who, I’m sorry, was dressed like Beetlejuice), both my kids were grossed out. Everyone in my house, at the same time, asked how old he is. I Googled him and found that he’s 36. She’s 20. That’s gross. Everyone in my house agreed that it was gross. Most of the population of FB and Twitter agreed that it was gross. I think that even the foam finger that she was wearing was grossed out. 
Jaden, Willow and Will Smith react to Miley’s ‘performance’. The lady next to Will looks like she needs a barf bag. Photo courtesy of MTV

Moving on, my 13 year old was so excited that Macklemore & Ryan Lewis won their Moonman for Same Love. 13 loves that song and is so inspired by the message the song holds. Macklemore’s acceptance speech was reason enough for us to watch the show.  
We watched with excitement when Justin Timberlake danced and sang for 20 minutes and gave N*Sync 30 seconds of air time, which wasn’t even enough time to get the 3rd ‘Bye’ out for Bye Bye Bye.  The girls were excited that they reunited for the brief spot but neither knew who the other members of N*Sync were.  So I told them the others were Lance Bass, JC Chasez and Joey Fatone. Oh wait, there are 4 others. I couldn’t for the life of me remember the other guy’s name, and didn’t care enough to Google him because he wasn’t on the screen long enough to care.
When Kanye came on to sing, we all took a pee break, because unlike Jared Leto, we don’t think Kanye is the King, the Jesus of our time, we don’t care anything at all about him, his wife or the baby they named after an airline. No, not Delta West. 
So, in a nutshell, I’m glad we got to watch the VMA’s as a family. It reinforced to me that I’m raising my daughters right. They don’t care for showing way too much skin or grinding up against men old enough to be their father. They appreciate the message that Macklemore promotes, they don’t care for Taylor’s use of the f bomb, they felt badly that N*Sync didn’t get more facetime and they can’t stand Kanye. So it’s sort of like validation to me that they are learning that it’s not about how much skin you show or how far out you can stick your tongue while trying to shock everyone into seeing how much you’ve grown up. I’m so proud of the young women they are becoming, and while we may not always agree on everything, we can at least agree that you need to respect yourself if you want others to respect you.  And they both lost a lot of respect for Miley and Taylor that night.


BIO:

Teri Biebel was born in Philly, and raised in Jersey. She's 45 years old and afterworking 24 years in the casino industry, wanted nothing more to do with slot machines, table games and stealing people blind, so she left for the private sector. She's married and has two amazing (and trying) teens, 15 & 13. Teri spends most of her time living like a circus clown,
juggling schedules and chauffeuring large groups of people in a 5 passenger car. She's sarcastic, she's snarky and her oldest has coined the term ‘Snarkastic’ to describe her. People tell her that she's funny and as long they don’t follow that up with the word “looking” shes' totally okay with it.





*You can find Snarkfest at the following links:

http://snarkfestblog.blogspot.com
http://www.twitter.com/SnarkfestBlog
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Snarkfest/395881567141521
http://www.amazon.com/Teri-Biebel/e/B00BMRYLXC

Friday, August 23, 2013

Fly On The Wall In A Madhouse

   
 It's Fly On The Wall time for 15 bloggers, hosted by the lovely Karen from http://bakinginatornado.com.  You crazy people must love being voyeurs because you keep coming back for more of my homegrown insanity. You want to be a fly on the wall in my house? Have at it---but don't say I didn't warn you!

     I don't ask for the weird. The weird finds me in the form of family gatherings. And when we get together, there's no such thing as a serious discussion in my home. The minute things get heavy, somebody breaks out in a Journey song....or announces that their
bowels are going to erupt like Mount St. Helens....or starts dancing in the middle of the room like they're auditioning for a job at a strip club. So I keep my mouth shut and listen to the weirdness that surrounds me every day:

"You know I had a good time in those heels last night if my toe nails fall off."

"That kid is killing our grocery budget. You might as well strap a feed bag on him and call it a day."

"Why didn't you TELL me the dog has hook worms?  I just kissed him!"
"Uh-oh...he ate his poop earlier..."
"OH GAWD! Am I going to get hook worms now, too?"

"A used tampon is a man's kryptonite."

"His farts are so toxic they burn my throat."


"I ate too much Honey Bunches Of Oats this morning and now my bowels hurt. That cereal should be renamed, 'Honey Bunches Of Bullshit'."

"I think the laundry breeds while we sleep. There's baby socks in there, and we don't have a baby."

"I can't stay in this ice bar much longer. My testicles are receding. If they go
up any further, I'll be singing soprano in The Vienna Boy's Choir."

"There's nothing wrong with sitting in a pub for three hours."
"That depends on if you walk out or have to be carried out."

"I just gave you life."
"You're NOT supposed
to give CPR to a CONSCIOUS person!"
"I had to practice my life saving skills."
"No, you blew into my mouth and made me throw up. I think I just coughed up a third lung in the backyard!!"

"Quit playing air guitar in the car. You look like the Geico lizard on steroids."

"Stop deep-throating that cheese stick!"

"They're selling goat's milk fudge? I'd eat it as long as it came out of the right end of the goat."


     Stick around my madhouse. There's more weirdness where that came from. But I'll warn you....it's contagious! In the meantime, go check out the other bloggers brave enough to participate in today's Fly On The Wall.


http://BakingInATornado.com                                     Baking In A Tornado
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just a Little Nutty
http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/             Stacy Sews and Schools
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                              The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                   Menopausal Mother
http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/           Moore Organized Mayhem
http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                           The Insomniac’s Dream       
http://themomisodes.com/                                      The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                      Spatulas on Parade
http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                          Dates 2 Diapers
http://sorrykidblog.com/                                Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others
http://www.therowdybaker.com                                The Rowdy Baker 
http://www.trashyblog.com                                       Trashy Blog
http://www.barbara1923.com/                                    Barbara & 1923


 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wacky Wednesday Writers: Guest Post By Baking In A Tornado

       I am thrilled to introduce you to my fourth guest in the Wacky Wednesday Writer series today---Karen, from  http://bakinginatornado.com. I met Karen last year after checking out her popular blog and immediately felt a kinship with this amazing woman. We share a love for baking and the trials of raising teenage boys, which has strengthened the bond between us. Her blog makes you feel right at home with a mix of humor and mouth-watering recipes that have her readers coming back for more. Karen is also the creator of the popular "Secret Subject Swap" series and "Fly On The Wall" posts that you have seen many bloggers participating in this year. She is a busy, talented woman and a true friend who inspires me to do better with every post I write.  I attribute much of Meno Mama's success this past year to Karen---her friendship and support have been invaluable to me. There's a reason why she is known as the "fairy blogmother" in the blogging community---she has a habit of helping other bloggers make their dreams come true.

     Please welcome my dear friend Karen to Meno Mama's site today!  



The Proper Care of an MOAN

Hello. {{ looks around }}

Hey, I remember this place. I took it over for a day last December. I explained to you all how to know when your child has hit adolescence. It’s not an age, there are a whole bunch of parameters and you can read them here:  http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/2012/12/sweets-with-side-dish-of-humor.html
I must not have done so well ‘cause it took 9 months to get myself back on here. But Menopausal Mother started this Wacky Wednesday Writers series so I kinda snuck back in. Shhh don’t tell, I don’t want to be booted out {{ looks around }}. How embarrassing would that be?

Since I last left you with the knowledge of how to identify the presence of adolescents, this time I want to talk to you about their MOAN. Very simply, a MOAN is a Mother Of A Nebula. If you didn’t know, a Nebula is a cloud of dust and gas. Get where I’m coming from here?

Mothers of these adolescent Nebulas are on a precipice. And take my word for it, it’s a long way down. You do not want that MOAN taking the plunge. If she goes off the edge, the entire family and yes, even the world as you know it is in dire jeapardy. You absolutely must treat your MOAN kindly and gently because trust me, she is fragile.




So here’s the info. Print it out, you’ll need it.
The proper care and treatment of a MOAN:

* Speak up. She’s spent years with your crying and your temper tantrums and your annoying toys. It’s not that she doesn’t hear you, she’s ignoring you. It’s a self-protection tactic that’s become instinct. It’s your fault not hers so you make the adjustment.
* If she asks you something that you’ve already told her, do not say that you already told her. Simply and calmly tell her again as if it’s the first time. Every single time she asks. No matter how many times that is. Even if the last time was just five minutes ago.
* If you happen to see a grey hair. Ignore it. If she asks, deny it. In fact remove the word “grey” from your vocabulary entirely.
* If she says she’s going clothes shopping, nonchalantly bring up the subject of the change in specs for clothing sizes. It’s a new strategy by clothing manufacturers to make people think that more material is needed for their clothes to justify higher prices. Be sure she knows that whatever size she fits into, she needs to subtract the number 4 and that’s her actual size. Find an online article about this trend and print it out. Can’t find an article? Write one. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
* Don’t ask her what’s for dinner. Ever. She doesn’t know but she’ll figure it out. She always does. And if she gives you a Corn Flakes sandwich, it’s best if you just shut up and eat it.
* Don’t stand between her and the liquor cabinet. This is in your best interest as well as hers. It could be a fatal mistake. Go out the garage door and back in the front door if you have to, but stay away from the path to the coffee enhancers.
* Tell her about the time your friends thought she was your sister, not your mother. Of course it never happened, now go tell her.
* If she calls you by the wrong name, the best thing to do is just go to the courthouse and have it changed.
* Tell her you love her. Every day.

So that’s it. Everything you need to know about how to treat and properly care for your MOAN. You’re welcome. Oh, and good luck.

See you next time. Well, if there is a next time {{ looks around }}. Gotta run, I think Meno Mamma just figured out I’m here . . .


Karen is a former Director of Social Service and Retail Buyer, now SAHM to two teens. She’s still serving and buying, just with the money going out instead of in. She started baking to feed the hordes of teens who’ve made her basement their home, and continued when she realized it relieves stress. Since teens provide more stress than she’s got butter and sugar, she blogs, shares recipes and vents at Baking In A Tornado. She’s been featured on the websites Mamapedia, Scary Mommy, GenerationFabulous and Treat a Day and is published in the Life Well Blogged series of books.
Visit her blog: http://www.BakingInATornado.com

She’s on FB: https://www.facebook.com/BakingInATornado

And her recipes are on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/BakngInATornado/boards/



Friday, August 16, 2013

Tag---You're It!

   
There's a fun, old school game circulating the blogosphere known as "tagging," and I've been tagged by my dear friends Sarah at http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com and Ellen at http://badwordmama.blogspot.com.  In this particular game, I'm required  to give 5 responses to a set of 7 different questions. I've also been asked to select 5 bloggers to tag back and play along.
     As you know, Meno Mama likes to bend the rules. Even as a child I strayed from the games on the playground and could usually be found eating M&M's behind the shrubs with my chocolate hoarding cohorts. Is it any wonder why I never won the Presidential Physical Fitness Award in P.E.?
     I'll play this game of tag, but you may not get the responses you're expecting. If you're nice and play along, I just might share my M&M's with you.


5 THINGS I HAVE A PASSION FOR:

1.  Squirrels (Duh! If you don't already know this about me, then you've been living under a rock).
2.  Wine. No wait, tequila. Or rum. Vodka.....okay, any libation will do...
3.  Nutella (Manna from heaven. I'm almost out---please send some now).
4.  Blogging (In between Facebooking).
5.  Beer drinking gnomes


5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1.  Buy an RV and stalk Guy Fieri as he eats his way through the heart of America.
2.  Go to Oktoberfest in Germany.
3.  Publish dozens of books to keep generations of my family laughing.
4. See the Titanic before it completely disintegrates at the bottom of the ocean.
5.  Buy Walt Disney World and rename it "Meno Mama's World." Espresso and jello shots will be sold on every corner for weary adults.


5 THINGS I SAY A LOT:

1.  "Nobody answer the door or the phone."
2.  "Shut the eff up."
3.  "Flush your re-wipes."
4.  "Brush your damn teeth!"
5.  "I didn't do it and it's not my fault."



5 BOOKS OR MAGAZINES I'VE READ LATELY:

1.  Anything written by Erma Bombeck.
2.  The Colonoscopy Quarterly
3.  10 Creative ways To Hide Your Chocolate Obsession
4.  The Squirrel Whisperer Handbook
5.  10 Steps To Beating Your Facebook Addiction


5 FAVORITE MOVIES:

1.  The Secret Garden
2.  Somewhere In Time
3.  Titanic
4.  Meet Joe Black
5. Our own home movie, "The Night The Gerbils Took Over Georgia."


5 PLACES I WOULD LOVE TO TRAVEL TO:

1.  Scotland, to trace my crazy, warrior ancestors.
2.  Bora Bora, so I can drink my fill of Mai Tais in a lazy hammock until I pass out.
3.  A Walmart that actually has people in well-fitting clothes and an I.Q. higher than a llama.
4.  Dorothy's Take Me Back To Oz winery in Wichita, Kansas.
5.  Sven's Svunhaus in "Sveden."


5 BLOGGERS I CHOOSE FOR TAG---YOU'RE IT! :  *This time I'm tagging all the gents out there who write some of the funniest blogs I've ever read.

http://smackofham.com
http://the-insane-asylum.blogspot.com
http://richrumple.blogspot.com
http://slusworld.blogspot.com
http://coachdaddyblog.wordpress.com


 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wacky Wednesday Writers: Guest Post by Tao Of Poop

 
 My third guest in the Wacky Wednesday Writers series is Rachel from http://taoofpoop.blogspot.com. I'll be honest---with a blog name like that, curiosity drove me to her site---and I've been hooked ever since. I've always felt a certain connection to Rachel, and was astonished to discover that we attended neighboring colleges in Columbia, Missouri, even though we are both east coast girls.  We had a great laugh reminiscing over some of the hangouts we used to frequent in what was then considered a small college town. We are true "sistas," and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for this special friend of mine.
     Rachel is a prolific writer whose blog resonates with many first time mothers. Her poignant posts validate all those feelings of overwhelming love mixed with ambiguity in the early stages of parenthood. Please be sure to stop by her blog and check out this amazing, talented woman I am proud to call my friend!



Ignorance is Bliss


     I'm a New Yorker. I've lived in the Big Apple just shy of twenty-five years. For much of that time, I lived blissfully in The East Village, a neighborhood that had its heyday when Peace, Love and Understanding were all the rage.

     Appropriately, the East Village was home to a store called Jubb’s Longevity, which was around long before gentrification pushed the hippies aside.  The store's proprietor, Jubb, was a Breatharian, a practitioner of the philosophy that it’s both possible and healthiest to live on air and light as your sole source of nourishment. Yes, you read my words correctly.

     Upon learning this fact from my friend who functioned as the unofficial mayor of the East Village, I said two things in this order: 1) "Only in the East Village" and 2) "What could they possibly sell in the store, if there’s nothing to consume?” My friend and I went in to find out. I recall books sparsely spread out on the shelves and maybe some teas and herbal cleanses. Needless to say, I didn't buy anything. Nor did I go back to Jubb's Longevity again.

     I hadn’t thought about the store in years. Recently, I found myself nostalgically longing for the days of Jubb. I had just read an article on the internet that rice, the proverbial health food, may contain arsenic.

     "Hmm, am I really slowly poisoning my two-year-old daughter, Claire?" I thought. "Great. Now what?"

     Why is it that seemingly innocent internet searches suddenly lead me to any number of doomsday proclamations? I swear; I do not go looking for this stuff.  I'm just trying to feed my child.

     I google  "healthiest cereal" only to find out my box of corn flakes may be laced with "excitotoxins." Legumes are a good choice, but they just might be filled to the brim with "phytates."

     Do I know what excitotoxins and phytates are? No, but evidently they are bad. Do I believe that they are bad? I haven't a clue.

     My favorite is when I googled “how to make your own bread”. I stumbled upon an article called: “Is Wheat Evil?”  Come on; you can call yourself a Paleo proponent or an Atkins enthusiast. Really, I'm down with everyone's choices. But, people, wheat is not evil!

     I'm beginning to wonder if it's the internet that's evil.  It has officially driven me crazy. Particularly because I have no idea who to believe, anyway. I can find the opposite viewpoint on another site just as easily, argued by people just as vociferously with just as much research to back up their claims.

     The saying goes that knowledge is power. I say the World Wide Web has turned knowledge into paralysis.

     Which brings me back to Jubb…Maybe, he was on to something. Maybe, he was ahead of his time. Maybe, it would be easier to live on air.

     Since that’s clearly not possible, I intend to stop googling altogether. Ignorance is bliss -- A truism that has been around much longer than both the internet and the Breatharians.


Rachel Demas aspired to guest post on Menopausal Mother, so she could claim honorary membership in Marcia's Nuthouse. Her own brand of crazy can be found at the Tao of Poop, where Rachel blogs about the shock and amazement of being a first-time mom. Claire, her delightful and impossible two year old, serves as a constant source of inspiration and frustration. Along for the ride are her husband, George, and two cats, Lloyd and Sophia. Please consider this bio your invitation to come along for the ride too...



Friday, August 9, 2013

Blessings

   
 Welcome to another edition of Secret Subject Swap, hosted by Karen at http://www.bakinginatornado.com. My prompt today comes from http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com. Her question to me: "What do you remember about the most important day of your life? Ask your significant other what they remember about the same day. Compare and contrast."

     I thought about this prompt question from every angle, and there have been too many spectacular moments in my life to pick just one that stood out above the rest. There were also heart- wrenching moments that shaped me in ways I never imagined possible:  Holding my twin baby boy in my arms moments before he died; laying my head against my father's chest and hearing his heartbeat slow until it stopped; joking on the phone with my sister, not realizing it was the last time I'd ever hear her voice again.
     There have also been joyous moments that have lifted me and sustained me through the years, such as my wedding day---enchanting, exhilarating and beautiful.  My husband and I agree though, that the most magical moments in our lives were the ones spent in the labor and delivery room at the local
hospital......

     Labor was long and intense with my first baby. My water broke in the middle of the night and I have vivid memories of grabbing fistfuls of my husband's shirt while swearing like a sailor who just lost a year's salary in a poker match. My husband's memory of that day is quite different. He felt like he was watching a sequel to The Exorcism with his wife starring in the role of Regan MacNeil....complete with spinning head, crazed eyes and a demonic voice.
     Fifteen hours later my son was born, but I didn't see his eyes until that evening when he opened them for the first time. Startling, vivid blue. In their azure depths I saw a glimpse of the man he would become---intelligent, kind, inspiring and handsome.                                                                                                       
     I had no idea how to raise a child the day I brought him home from the hospital. After locking myself in the bathroom for a good cry, I realized that he too, was new at this whole, mother/baby relationship. We would learn together, holding onto one another as we walked through the unchartered territory of new parenthood.

     When my second child was born, it was a moment of elation and relief after a difficult pregnancy. The nurse laid my daughter against my chest and it was then that I noticed the double dimples creasing her left cheek. I laughed through my tears and pulled her closer to my heart. She was my miracle baby, my rock through the darkest hours when her twin bother died shortly after birth.
     Today my fiercely independent daughter walks down the path of new parenthood hand in hand with her own baby girl, her grasp much stronger and more confident than my own at that age...and I couldn't be prouder of the woman she has become.

 
   We still chuckle at the memory of our third child's birth. I had taken the whole "eating for two" phrase to new heights during that pregnancy. My daughter, although two weeks early, was 9.5 pounds at birth. Thank God we didn't go full term with her or else I would have given birth to a 14 pound Butterball. She was the largest baby in the nursery. The nurses swaddled her so tightly, she looked like a mini sumo wrestler or Jabba The Hutt's offspring.
     My little Butterball has now turned into a graceful swan with a great sense of humor, an infectious laugh and a smile that can light up a room.  She is the dose of sunshine I need to keep my own smile in place when life isn't always so kind.

 
 Our last baby decided to make an early appearance in the world, which put a serious crimp in my plans that day. I was forced to deliver 60 cookies to my older son's elementary school class with amniotic fluid trickling down my legs. To this day, my youngest boy is still impulsive and impatient, ready to grab onto life with both hands and enjoy the ride. He stresses me to the point of craving tequila by noon each day, but his compassion, brilliance and teenage antics never cease to amaze and inspire me.

     I am blessed to be a part of this crazy, funny family that has gifted me with such unforgettable moments. It would be impossible to pick just one as being the best. Our life is a mosaic of laughter and love, and the memories we share will resonate for years to come in the lives of our grandchildren.



Please be sure to stop by and check out all the other bloggers participating in today's Secret Subject Swap!


http://BakingInATornado.com                              Baking In A Tornado
http://themomisodes.com/                                  The Momisodes
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                           Just A Little Nutty
http://followmehome.shellybean.com                    Follow me home . . .
http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/        Moore Organized Mayhem
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/           Stacy Sews and Schools
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                           The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                 Menopausal Mother              
http://dinoheromommy.com/                                 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                         The Insomniac’s Dream
 http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                  Searching For Sanity
 www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                         Evil Joy Speaks


     

   

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