Friday, August 23, 2013

Fly On The Wall In A Madhouse

   
 It's Fly On The Wall time for 15 bloggers, hosted by the lovely Karen from http://bakinginatornado.com.  You crazy people must love being voyeurs because you keep coming back for more of my homegrown insanity. You want to be a fly on the wall in my house? Have at it---but don't say I didn't warn you!

     I don't ask for the weird. The weird finds me in the form of family gatherings. And when we get together, there's no such thing as a serious discussion in my home. The minute things get heavy, somebody breaks out in a Journey song....or announces that their
bowels are going to erupt like Mount St. Helens....or starts dancing in the middle of the room like they're auditioning for a job at a strip club. So I keep my mouth shut and listen to the weirdness that surrounds me every day:

"You know I had a good time in those heels last night if my toe nails fall off."

"That kid is killing our grocery budget. You might as well strap a feed bag on him and call it a day."

"Why didn't you TELL me the dog has hook worms?  I just kissed him!"
"Uh-oh...he ate his poop earlier..."
"OH GAWD! Am I going to get hook worms now, too?"

"A used tampon is a man's kryptonite."

"His farts are so toxic they burn my throat."


"I ate too much Honey Bunches Of Oats this morning and now my bowels hurt. That cereal should be renamed, 'Honey Bunches Of Bullshit'."

"I think the laundry breeds while we sleep. There's baby socks in there, and we don't have a baby."

"I can't stay in this ice bar much longer. My testicles are receding. If they go
up any further, I'll be singing soprano in The Vienna Boy's Choir."

"There's nothing wrong with sitting in a pub for three hours."
"That depends on if you walk out or have to be carried out."

"I just gave you life."
"You're NOT supposed
to give CPR to a CONSCIOUS person!"
"I had to practice my life saving skills."
"No, you blew into my mouth and made me throw up. I think I just coughed up a third lung in the backyard!!"

"Quit playing air guitar in the car. You look like the Geico lizard on steroids."

"Stop deep-throating that cheese stick!"

"They're selling goat's milk fudge? I'd eat it as long as it came out of the right end of the goat."


     Stick around my madhouse. There's more weirdness where that came from. But I'll warn you....it's contagious! In the meantime, go check out the other bloggers brave enough to participate in today's Fly On The Wall.


http://BakingInATornado.com                                     Baking In A Tornado
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just a Little Nutty
http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/             Stacy Sews and Schools
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                              The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                   Menopausal Mother
http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/           Moore Organized Mayhem
http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                           The Insomniac’s Dream       
http://themomisodes.com/                                      The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                      Spatulas on Parade
http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                          Dates 2 Diapers
http://sorrykidblog.com/                                Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others
http://www.therowdybaker.com                                The Rowdy Baker 
http://www.trashyblog.com                                       Trashy Blog
http://www.barbara1923.com/                                    Barbara & 1923


 

46 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Don't eat too much of the stuff or you may be calling it the same thing.....

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  2. As a Southern woman who has raised 3 boys and still working on the husband, I may or may not have muttered some of the above while shaking my head and erasing my mental etch a sketch. After 18 years my mental etch a sketch doesn't erase right anymore..

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    Replies
    1. HAHA I LOVE that--mental etch a sketch! I think mine cracked a long time ago....

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  3. I can't pick a favorite comment...I can't! I seriously want to spend a week in your house. I think I'd have 6-pack abs from laughing so hard, and I'd really like to see that once in my lifetime.
    What a group!

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    Replies
    1. I would LOVE to have you over---but you have to promise me you'll make one of your yummy recipes while you're here!

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  4. I agree with Lorinda!! I wanna hang out at your place!!! LOL Too much fun!!!

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    Replies
    1. Come on over--we'll have a party and Lorinda will do the baking (I'll supply the margaritas!).

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  5. I don't know what I'd do without your family to laugh at once a month. . . WITH . . . I mean laugh WITH!

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    Replies
    1. You know you're going to have to come visit me one day, right? Lots of laughter at my expense AND rum cakes--an unbeatable combination!

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  6. OMG I SOOO love your family! Y'all are my kinda people!

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    Replies
    1. I think Karen needs to organize a Fly On The wall party just so we can one day meet each other's families. Can you IMAGINE the laughter???

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    2. Yay!!! See--we REALLY need to do this! How fun would that be??

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  7. "They're selling goat's milk fudge? I'd eat it as long as it came out of the right end of the goat." sounds like a plan to me. :D
    I LOVE your Fly On The Wall posts!
    That is one incredibly awesome group of people you have on your hands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww....thanks, Meg! This crazy bunch always gives me plenty to write about. That fudge--it really tasted great but I just couldn't take more than one bite--I was a little skeeved knowing it was made from goat's milk...even though we obviously drink cow's milk....

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  8. oh my...I'm at a loss for words. Crazy, madhouse? That may be too tame! LOL
    Love the ice bar

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    Replies
    1. The Ice Bar was AMAZING!!!! We went to one while on vacation in Orlando. EVERYTHING inside is made of ice---the seats, the bar and even the "glasses" that your drinks are served in. It was one of the most interesting places I have visited and I plan on going back for more!

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  9. I would avoid Grape Nuts as well... it's the sh*t... literally....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha!!! I'd heard that, which is why I avoid that cereal. I tasted it once--kind of like munching on sticks and twigs....

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  10. Marcia,
    My man is always yelling at me for kissing the dogs. I tell him that I kiss HIM all the time and haven't yet caught anything...
    My daughter is going to spit coffee when I share your story. She loves Honey Bunches of Oats!
    Between the receding frozen balls and deep throat cheese stick (Please let that be a Porn Name), I'm going to be laughing all night! Missed you :) <3

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    Replies
    1. That really is a GREAT porn name! Lol! Hey, I've missed you too, Lovely lady! <3

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  11. Oh, this reminded me of my Dad. He recommended Shreddies (A Canadian whole-wheat cereal) for irregularity. Then enlarged on his topic (though no one was asking) with something about hitting the eye of a needle at 12 paces. He lost me. I simply couldn't put irregularity and needles into the same sentence ...

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  12. Marcia, I saw the topic and got an instant smile... I always know I am going to get a great laugh when I read one of these blog posts :) As always thank you for sharing your wild and crazy family... I have one too but I am not sure I am ever brave enough to share... lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you SHOULD blog about that!!!! I would LOVE to read it!

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  13. All of these pictures made me smile. :) Have a great weekend!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, Jen. Glad you liked it!

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  14. I don't seek out the weird either, it just finds me no matter how much I hide!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and I, we are magnets for the weird....

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  15. Oh no, CPR on a conscious person, I wonder if that would be attempted murder or manslaughter...ha ha ha. And pubs are great places to spend the whole day, you can only down a few drinks in 3 hours, and the rest - I don't remember.

    Now you need to be careful with that man coming out of your bathroom all balaclavad (can't spell) up. Looks like he's going through some deep stuff. MM be real careful mate. Fully armed with no shoes is a clear sign something is not right :)

    I just love coming by here for a good laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That "man" in the bathroom is the 17 yr. old you always hear me talking about. I told you he's strange....but God love him, he gives me GREAT blog fodder!

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  16. Marcia, these are HILARIOUS!! Seriously, we've got to get our families together...although I'm not sure if we'd all be laughing together or fighting for the attention...haha!

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    Replies
    1. Bring your dad and the "golden child"....sounds like a great party to me!

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  17. Always fun to stop by and see what the Doyles are up to! These Fly on the wall posts always remind me a little of home... :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, Jon---always happy to see you here! So...does this mean your family eats Goat's milk fudge, too????

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  18. Another enjoyable read... Ha!!! I cannot tell you how many people I have shown your FB pics of the "Frozen Bar." Looks just too cool (no pun intended).

    Have a great weekend (on the patio), Slu

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    Replies
    1. Oh Slu--you HAVE to find an Ice bar! There are several around the U.S. Honestly one of the "coolest" bars I have ever been to--LOVED it and want to go back! Google Ice Bar and see if you can find one that is not TOO far from you! Well worth the drive!

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  19. Replies
    1. Glad you did, Lanthie. Thanks for stopping by!

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  20. I'm not entirely certain i'm willing to eat Goat's Milk Fudge no matter WHICH end of the goat it came out of! ;)

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    Replies
    1. You're not alone in your hesitancy......

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  21. My favorite thing about your family posts is that you all obviously love to be together. The pictures and the stories confirm it. Content and happy is a great thing, especially where family is involved. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We really DO have a great time together and I look forward to each and every adventure with them!

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  22. This was great! Honey Bunches of Bullshit! BAHAHAHA!

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    Replies
    1. I will never look at that box of cereal the same way again.....

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