Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wacky Wednesday Writers: Guest Post By Baking In A Tornado

       I am thrilled to introduce you to my fourth guest in the Wacky Wednesday Writer series today---Karen, from  http://bakinginatornado.com. I met Karen last year after checking out her popular blog and immediately felt a kinship with this amazing woman. We share a love for baking and the trials of raising teenage boys, which has strengthened the bond between us. Her blog makes you feel right at home with a mix of humor and mouth-watering recipes that have her readers coming back for more. Karen is also the creator of the popular "Secret Subject Swap" series and "Fly On The Wall" posts that you have seen many bloggers participating in this year. She is a busy, talented woman and a true friend who inspires me to do better with every post I write.  I attribute much of Meno Mama's success this past year to Karen---her friendship and support have been invaluable to me. There's a reason why she is known as the "fairy blogmother" in the blogging community---she has a habit of helping other bloggers make their dreams come true.

     Please welcome my dear friend Karen to Meno Mama's site today!  



The Proper Care of an MOAN

Hello. {{ looks around }}

Hey, I remember this place. I took it over for a day last December. I explained to you all how to know when your child has hit adolescence. It’s not an age, there are a whole bunch of parameters and you can read them here:  http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/2012/12/sweets-with-side-dish-of-humor.html
I must not have done so well ‘cause it took 9 months to get myself back on here. But Menopausal Mother started this Wacky Wednesday Writers series so I kinda snuck back in. Shhh don’t tell, I don’t want to be booted out {{ looks around }}. How embarrassing would that be?

Since I last left you with the knowledge of how to identify the presence of adolescents, this time I want to talk to you about their MOAN. Very simply, a MOAN is a Mother Of A Nebula. If you didn’t know, a Nebula is a cloud of dust and gas. Get where I’m coming from here?

Mothers of these adolescent Nebulas are on a precipice. And take my word for it, it’s a long way down. You do not want that MOAN taking the plunge. If she goes off the edge, the entire family and yes, even the world as you know it is in dire jeapardy. You absolutely must treat your MOAN kindly and gently because trust me, she is fragile.




So here’s the info. Print it out, you’ll need it.
The proper care and treatment of a MOAN:

* Speak up. She’s spent years with your crying and your temper tantrums and your annoying toys. It’s not that she doesn’t hear you, she’s ignoring you. It’s a self-protection tactic that’s become instinct. It’s your fault not hers so you make the adjustment.
* If she asks you something that you’ve already told her, do not say that you already told her. Simply and calmly tell her again as if it’s the first time. Every single time she asks. No matter how many times that is. Even if the last time was just five minutes ago.
* If you happen to see a grey hair. Ignore it. If she asks, deny it. In fact remove the word “grey” from your vocabulary entirely.
* If she says she’s going clothes shopping, nonchalantly bring up the subject of the change in specs for clothing sizes. It’s a new strategy by clothing manufacturers to make people think that more material is needed for their clothes to justify higher prices. Be sure she knows that whatever size she fits into, she needs to subtract the number 4 and that’s her actual size. Find an online article about this trend and print it out. Can’t find an article? Write one. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
* Don’t ask her what’s for dinner. Ever. She doesn’t know but she’ll figure it out. She always does. And if she gives you a Corn Flakes sandwich, it’s best if you just shut up and eat it.
* Don’t stand between her and the liquor cabinet. This is in your best interest as well as hers. It could be a fatal mistake. Go out the garage door and back in the front door if you have to, but stay away from the path to the coffee enhancers.
* Tell her about the time your friends thought she was your sister, not your mother. Of course it never happened, now go tell her.
* If she calls you by the wrong name, the best thing to do is just go to the courthouse and have it changed.
* Tell her you love her. Every day.

So that’s it. Everything you need to know about how to treat and properly care for your MOAN. You’re welcome. Oh, and good luck.

See you next time. Well, if there is a next time {{ looks around }}. Gotta run, I think Meno Mamma just figured out I’m here . . .


Karen is a former Director of Social Service and Retail Buyer, now SAHM to two teens. She’s still serving and buying, just with the money going out instead of in. She started baking to feed the hordes of teens who’ve made her basement their home, and continued when she realized it relieves stress. Since teens provide more stress than she’s got butter and sugar, she blogs, shares recipes and vents at Baking In A Tornado. She’s been featured on the websites Mamapedia, Scary Mommy, GenerationFabulous and Treat a Day and is published in the Life Well Blogged series of books.
Visit her blog: http://www.BakingInATornado.com

She’s on FB: https://www.facebook.com/BakingInATornado

And her recipes are on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/BakngInATornado/boards/



38 comments:

  1. LMHO - GREAT post!!
    Now I have to go pluck my chin - ( sigh, MOAN, sigh )
    XOXO

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  2. Oh I see so much of myself in this post, especially the part about calling kids by the wrong name. My teenagers make so much fun of me when I interchange their names. They say, "it's been 13 years and you still can't get it right".

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    1. Yeah, I'm starting to see the value in just having given them both the same name.

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  3. HAHAHAHA! I loved it! This could have been written by me in so many ways......Karen is awesome! ♥ ♥ ♥

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    1. Yes, your kids aren't quite there yet but they're on their way. You better print this out!

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  4. Hysterical! Thanks for my morning laugh.

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    Replies
    1. My pleasure. I enjoyed having the chance to sneak back in here.

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  5. I <3 this SOO much!!! Yes, I am most definitely a MOAN!!!! HELP ME!!!! ;)

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    1. I don't know if it helps to know that you are not alone, but you aren't, we're here for ya!

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  6. Will so remember this as my girls get older and reach this stage. Great guest post!! :)

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    1. Thanks, Janine. If your girls aren't there yet, you may want to just wipe this from your memory. Sometimes it's best not to know what's ahead.

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  7. Yep, I know that moan well! Enjoyed this post~

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    1. Thanks, Shelly. Always glad to meet someone else who can relate.

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  8. That was great!! Especially #1...
    I know this is going to sound awful, but we live in the woods... The other day there were bear in the yard. The kids were screaming, bear, bear, bear --- I didn't hear them AT ALL -- but being the ever present mom, I of course SAW the bear & started screaming for the kids seconds later.... They were like, MOM, we KNOW.., didn't you hear us??

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    1. Perfect example of that first one, Jenn. You obviously know just where I'm coming from!

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  9. I need to print this out for my 8 year old who told me I looked liked the joker when I was angry. Sweet little girl. >=|

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    Replies
    1. Yes, sounds like she needs it. Telling Mom she looks like the joker is definitely NOT on the list.

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  10. Priceless! Absolutely priceless! I want to print this out and post it in my kitchen. Can I? I mean, May I??

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely. I should have added a recipe for a good strong cocktail to this post!

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  11. Ah, so this is what is in store for me in a few years? I have a feeling it's going to come way too fast. LOVED the nebula reference, best and most apt description yet!

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    1. You may not have teenagers, but if you loved the nebula reference, clearly you have a good clue of what you have in store. Wish you luck.

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  12. Yes, the Nebula effect sounds so much...I can't bring myself to say fun. Besides, it's all dust and gas around here most of the time. It's amazing how much a small person can produce. But I digress...thank you for the handy tips and I'll be sure to laminate this list. If I ever get to leave the house again.

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    1. I hear ya. Sometimes I only get out of the house when we're out of food. But I guess you didn't want to hear that . . .

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  13. How fun! I think I'll have to print this out and leave it laying around in a few years :)

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    1. Either that or run away from home before it's too late. I'm thinking that may be an option I should have given more consideration.

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  14. Nice article Karen...

    Love
    Epsita
    http://livetolearn-writer.blogspot.com/2013/05/failures-create-success-stories.html

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  15. Thank you, Epista. Hope it made you smile.

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  16. Definitely worth a read aloud to many who will listen!!! Oh, can I relate to every one of these!!! SO funny!!

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    1. You live in a house with people who'll listen? Lucky you!

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  17. HILARIOUS! Of course I'm so thick this evening that it took me a little bit to get the whole MOAN thing (ohhhhhhhhh, gas and dust...)! ;-) I'm so glad to see you hanging out over here again! XO!

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    1. Your kids are still young, the older they get the quicker you catch on to the MOAN thing! XO

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  18. So funny... I am definitely going to be needing this in the very near future if not now... my youngest is 10... going on 20:)

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    1. Oh I remember that age, 10 going on 20. I wish you luck!

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  19. I need this now. Gah! Cannot believe I how damn old I am. :) This is a great list. My oldest sons better reach each one carefully, because it's going on the fridge! :)

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    1. I guess I shouldn't tell you that my kids completely ignore it . . .

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  20. Loved this! I am not only the mother to a Nebula but the wife of one as well! I need to print this & leave it for both of them! Thanks for the morning laugh! :)

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    1. Thanks, Carey, for the morning laugh as well. Didn't really think about the Nebulas in terms of spouses. You're right though, they fit the description too!

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