Showing posts with label camping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label camping. Show all posts

Friday, May 22, 2026

Fly On The Wall With The Fat-Free Cows

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are welcoming you into our homes to see what a fly might see- or overhear!

 
 This month has FLOWN by, and we haven't been home much---3 camping trips since my last blog post! Whew! A lot of people don't get the appeal of RVing; they'd rather go on a cruise or fly somewhere to stay at a nice resort. I get that, but if you don't try RVing at least ONCE in your life, you are truly missing out. 



I actually had a fun essay published in AARP this week, extolling the virtues of RV life (for the non-believers). It was an honor to get this assignment,
and I hope you get a chance to read it HERE ( I think you have to subscribe to AARP "Members Edition" online to be able to read my stuff over there--but hey, it's
only $12 a year. C'mon!)


During last week's camping trip to Myakka River State Park, everything was beautiful and perfect, except I got BIT UP by some sort of insect (and I'm still itching). Tis the season for bugs in South Florida! It's all good, though. The nosey fly and his ugly cronies aren't going to stop me from RVing. But at least the fly was privy to some interesting conversations during my camping trips...... 


"This game sucks. The rules are too confusing, I quit!" 
"It's SCRABBLE. Everyone loves this game! And besides, it says that it's for children ages 8 and up" 
"I must be at the cut-off point. Let's just use the squares for firewood in the camp stove tonight." 


"I don't get why teenagers today are so lazy and entitled."
"It's because schools no longer make students wear humiliating uniforms in gym class or force them to play dodgeball---the game that taught us how not to die."


"Why won't you try Bunjee jumping?"
"Are you kidding? I won't even jump off our one-story roof!"


"Why is there no more fat-free creamer?" 
"They ran out of fat-free cows."



"I read somewhere that there are certain things every 60+ year-old should have: Missing Tupperware lids, a collection of plastic bags, and a drawer full of random cords that no one knows what they belong to."
"You forgot to add to that list an expired jar of pickle relish in the pantry and medicine bottles from 1995." 


"I hate it when you pull out your phone everytime I tell you somethng interesting."
"I have trust issues, so I have to use Google to see whether or not you're telling me the truth about living parasites on our eyelashes or fecal particles stuck on toothbrushes stored near the toilet."
"I'm surprised you didn't Google fat-free cows...."


"I used to be a poo-poo perfectionist. Never missed a day. Now, I'm irregular, and I hate it."
"That means you're just a poo-poo pretender."


"Listen to that sound...don't you love hearing the summer cicadas?"
"No, I have tinnitus--I hear the hum of cicadas all day long in my ears."
"At least you don't have to listen to the mooing of fat-free cows in the fridge."
"FINE! I'll go buy the damn fat-free creamer!!"



"I thought you were trying to declutter your closet. Why do you have so many pairs of jeans?"
"I have to keep different sizes. One pile is what I'm using now. Another pile is saved in case I gain more weight--or eat a really big holiday meal. It used to be a larger collection."
"What happened to the others?"
"I ate too many big meals this year."
"Then what's that really big pile for?"
"That's my regret pile---the jeans I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of EVER fitting into."



Since I can no longer fit into my jeans, I might as well go fatten up those cows so I can at least enjoy some creamer with my coffee.....


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA??" As mentioned above, one of my favorite essays is featured this week at AARP/Members Edition, which you can read HERE. If you have trouble finding it or the link doesn't take you directly to it, the title to put in the search bar is "How RVing Revived Our 42-Year Marriage." Over at AARP/The Girlfriend, I had several pieces published (yay!!). The first is an article on how to whiten your teeth naturally HERE plus Cinco De Mayo Recipes HERE and Mother's Day gift ideas HERE and then at AARP/The Ethel, I had an article about air fryer recipes that you can read HERE

Hop on over to Karen and Diane's house to see what the nosy fly has been up to at their place!!

Baking In A Tornado                                https://www.BakingInATornado.com

                               

On the Border                                         https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/


 





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Friday, March 20, 2026

Fly On The Wall With A Side Piece

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are welcoming you into our homes to see what a fly night see---or overhear!



Oh, how I love the month of March! There are so many fun activities going on in the spring, and the weather is still "doable" in South Florida. This is the month of the Florida Ren-Fest along with my daughter's birthday,
and, of course, one of my favorite holidays--St. Patrick's Day! 


This is also the best time of year for us to go camping, so we've been exploring more state parks and RV resorts---we go about every two weeks now. And after 21 trips, Yoda has become a pro at traveling. 

We will keep up this pace until mid-July, when things start to really heat up, and the vampirish mosquitoes become relentless. Although last week at Sebastian Inlet State Park, the no-see-ums were out again! Of course, that was nothing compared to the alligator that tried to sneak up on us while we sat in chairs by the inlet to watch the sunset. I've never seen my husband move so quickly! Being the curious sort, I walked right over to the mangroves to find the gator, and I thought Hubs was going to have a heart attack. He wanted to "protect" me, but the gator slipped back under the water, and I continued to sip my wine and watch the sunset. No way will I let anything spoil my camping trips!!



The nosy fly was not amused by my antics, but he did listen in on our conversations......




"Hey, remember that time I applied my foundation to your face?"
"How could I forget? It was a disaster."
"You had spots all over your skin from working in the sun. I was trying to hide your imperfections."
"You'd have to chop off my entire head to do that."



"This berry-flavored energy drink is awful." 
"No, it's not. It tastes good, like a berry snow cone."
"Yeah, a snow cone laced with berry cough syrup."



"Why does your phone keep going off with texts from work?'
"My new boss has questions."
"I think you must have a girlfriend-----a side piece." 
"Nope---you're my only side piece... you're also my front piece and my back piece."
"I'm not sure what that means---especially the 'back piece', but I hope it's a compliment."



"It's fine if we leave leftover champagne in the fridge. We have a rubber stopper for it."
"What leftovers? Too bad we don't have a stopper for our mouths. "




"What do you mean you want me to touch you more often? I touch you all the time. "
"Yeah, but it's usually when you're wiping something gross on me. "



"I loved seesaws and merry-go-rounds when I was a kid. The faster the better!"
"Seesaws are the reason I have trust issues." 


"You should've gone to church with me this morning to get your forehead smudged for Ash
Wednesday." 
"What's the point of it?"
"It's a symbol of human mortality, a preparation for Easter, and repentance---plus asking for mercy for your past sins."
"Then they'd better cover my whole face in ashes. "



"Hey, can you grab that bottle of aspirin out of my purse?"
"Um, how do I know this isn't a trick? Your purse is a giant, black hole of junk. For all I know, there could be a torpedo in there just waiting to blow up when I open it."
"Because torpedoes are too big....but a grenade would fit..."


"How is it possible that you've never seen the movie, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
"I'm from a small farming community. We only had one movie theater in the 1970s, and it was still playing black and white movies without sound."
"Well, you really missed out on something. I'm going to find Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for you to watch so we can relive my childhood." 
"I live that every day with your child-like brain."



"These spare ribs are delicious but extra fatty."
"Well.... they say you are what you eat...."
"Yeah, but I'm still your favorite side piece..."



We're off again next week on a camping trip with the neighbors, and then later on heading to North Florida. Hopefully, there won't be any no-see-ums or gators this time, but at least I'll have my side piece (or my back piece?) to protect me. 


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA?*** Over at AARP/The Girlfriend, I share 4 of the easiest and budget-friendly dinners ever that you can find HERE  Then I have one about the 4 things you should be doing for your dog that you can read HERE I also have an essay in AARP titled, "Things I Do To Strengthen My Relationship With My Adult Kids" which you can read HERE, or if that doesn't work (the main site links gets wonky sometimes), type in the title on the website and it should come up. 


Hop on over to Karen and Diane's house to see what the nosy fly has been up to over there!


Baking In A Tornado                                https://www.BakingInATornado.com

                               

On the Border                                         https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/


 

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