Friday, May 22, 2026

Fly On The Wall With The Fat-Free Cows

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are welcoming you into our homes to see what a fly might see- or overhear!

 This month has FLOWN by, and we haven't been home much---3 camping trips since my last blog post! Whew! A lot of people don't get the appeal of RVing; they'd rather go on a cruise or fly somewhere to stay at a nice resort. I get that, but if you don't try RVing at least ONCE in your life, you are truly missing out. 



I actually had a fun essay published in AARP this week, extolling the virtues of RV life (for the non-believers). It was an honor to get this assignment,
and I hope you get a chance to read it HERE ( I think you have to subscribe to AARP "Members Edition" online to be able to read my stuff over there--but hey, it's
only $12 a year. C'mon!)


During last week's camping trip to Myakka River State Park, everything was beautiful and perfect, except I got BIT UP by some sort of insect (and I'm still itching). Tis the season for bugs in South Florida! It's all good, though. The nosey fly and his ugly cronies aren't going to stop me from RVing. But at least the fly was privy to some interesting conversations during my camping trips...... 


"This game sucks. The rules are too confusing, I quit!" 
"It's SCRABBLE. Everyone loves this game! And besides, it says that it's for children ages 8 and up" 
"I must be at the cut-off point. Let's just use the squares for firewood in the camp stove tonight." 


"I don't get why teenagers today are so lazy and entitled."
"It's because schools no longer make students wear humiliating uniforms in gym class or force them to play dodgeball---the game that taught us how not to die."


"Why won't you try Bunjee jumping?"
"Are you kidding? I won't even jump off our one-story roof!"


"Why is there no more fat-free creamer?" 
"They ran out of fat-free cows."



"I read somewhere that there are certain things every 60+ year-old should have: Missing Tupperware lids, a collection of plastic bags, and a drawer full of random cords that no one knows what they belong to."
"You forgot to add to that list an expired jar of pickle relish in the pantry and medicine bottles from 1995." 


"I hate it when you pull out your phone everytime I tell you somethng interesting."
"I have trust issues, so I have to use Google to see whether or not you're telling me the truth about living parasites on our eyelashes or fecal particles stuck on toothbrushes stored near the toilet."
"I'm surprised you didn't Google fat-free cows...."


"I used to be a poo-poo perfectionist. Never missed a day. Now, I'm irregular, and I hate it."
"That means you're just a poo-poo pretender."


"Listen to that sound...don't you love hearing the summer cicadas?"
"No, I have tinnitus--I hear the hum of cicadas all day long in my ears."
"At least you don't have to listen to the mooing of fat-free cows in the fridge."
"FINE! I'll go buy the damn fat-free creamer!!"



"I thought you were trying to declutter your closet. Why do you have so many pairs of jeans?"
"I have to keep different sizes. One pile is what I'm using now. Another pile is saved in case I gain more weight--or eat a really big holiday meal. It used to be a larger collection."
"What happened to the others?"
"I ate too many big meals this year."
"Then what's that really big pile for?"
"That's my regret pile---the jeans I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of EVER fitting into."



Since I can no longer fit into my jeans, I might as well go fatten up those cows so I can at least enjoy some creamer with my coffee.....


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA??" As mentioned above, one of my favorite essays is featured this week at AARP/Members Edition, which you can read HERE. If you have trouble finding it or the link doesn't take you directly to it, the title to put in the search bar is "How RVing Revived Our 42-Year Marriage." Over at AARP/The Girlfriend, I had several pieces published (yay!!). The first is an article on how to whiten your teeth naturally HERE plus Cinco De Mayo Recipes HERE and Mother's Day gift ideas HERE and then at AARP/The Ethel, I had an article about air fryer recipes that you can read HERE

Hop on over to Karen and Diane's house to see what the nosy fly has been up to at their place!!

Baking In A Tornado                                https://www.BakingInATornado.com

                               

On the Border                                         https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/


 





Friday, April 17, 2026

Fly On The Wall With The Newest Jokester

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are welcoming you into our homes to see what a fly might see- or overhear!



It's that time of year again when the nosy fly brings all of his buddies around the backyard while we're trying to enjoy a little nature. Thank God for citronella candles and bug zappers! But we've still had a fun month so far. It was pure joy watching all the grandkids hunt for Easter eggs at the family brunch. As usual, my oldest daughter was the "hostess with the mostess." She has her mama's love for entertaining guests, and I am happy to pass down the baton.  


This month, we also checked out the new Immersive Voyage Titanic Exhibit (y'all know I'm a freak for Titanic stuff!). I learn someting new every time I visit one of their exhibits and I always come home with a new Titanic Christmas tree ornament (yeah, I know--I already have too many. My kids think I need a Christmas ornament intervention).



A week after that, we went RVing with our neighbors at our favorite KOA spot in mid-Florida and had a blast. I'm talking stunning lakeside sunsets, cookouts, s'mores over the fire pit, swimming, and a hilarious (but slightly raunchy) card game that had us all laughing so loud we probably annoyed the other campers.


We're camping again this weekend further north (just the two of us) but wouldn't you know---after all this gorgeous weather in Florida, a heat wave is blasting through--just in time for us to sweat at the weekend outdoor music gigs. I'll be easy to spot on the camp lawn because I'll be the one with the double layer of neck fans!


The best part of this month, however, is that we celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary! Hubs is my rock, my bestie, my ride-or-die, my mumu man, my partner in crime, and the love of my life. No one makes me laugh like he does. I am blessed to have him. "Grow old with me, the best is yet to be..." and it truly is. 


The fly has been privy to many of my odd conversations with the hubs this month. Maybe I should use the fly swatter on my him......


"Come here---I want to show you something." 
"No. I don't want to see anything you have."
"Don't you trust me?" 
"Not since you knowingly let me sit in a patio chair with a broken leg."



"Okay, 'Hammy The Hobo', save some of that Easter Hormel ham for the rest of the family." 
"Please stop calling me that." 
"Well, your real name is Hamilton....so I'll forever think of you as 'Hammy The Hobo' because you don't shower when we go camping."
"Stop it."
"Now you're just 'Hammy The Hobo' with Hormel hands."



"I think you're going to like your new home." 
"What new home?"
"The one we just passed."
"We passed the cemetery."
"Yep."


"That newlywed  couple we met with the newborn baby----they weren't even sure they wanted a child when she got pregnant." 
"Well, IT sure came quickly...."
"It came qui---wait, what?"



"How was your breakfast?"
"I had so many eggs, I think I ate an entire hatchery."



"Why don't you consider trying those new brain supplements?"
"They won't work because I don't have a brain." 



"I asked the pharmacist if I could take Voltaren for my pulled leg muscle but she said no, it was only for arthritis."
"Did she give you a different option?"
"Nope, so I told her it will be her fault if I have to chop off my bad leg, and that the next time she sees me, I'll be flapping around in a circle."
 

"I can't believe I ate that entire Easter meal. I feel like I've swallowed a whale."
"Hopefully, it was a tasty whale."
"Thankfully, it wasn't a sperm whale."



"I need to charge the batteries for my electric tools."
"You need to charge your own body's battery first."


"What's up with you lately? You've suddenly become the new jokester in the family. That's my job." 
"What can I say? I learned from the master---Hammy The Hobo."



Hope you enjoyed reading this month's FOW post. I'm just over here at my campsite with a fan, swatting at flies. Perhaps there wouldn't be so many if Hammy the Hobo actually took a shower......


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA?***

Last month, I learned that I placed in the top 100 Mom Blogs To Follow for Feedspot. Check out all the winners here: https://bloggers.feedspot.com/mom_blogs/?_src=f1_newcampaign  I also have some new articles up this month at AARP/The Girlfriend: "4 Truths About Men Every Woman Should Know" that you can read HERE and another on easy dinner recipes for entertaining guests that you can read HERE You can also read my latest for AARP/The Ethel about recipes to make with the grandkids--read it HERE amd lastly, anothwer for AARP/The Girlriend on 3 Things I Tell Myself Daily---which you can read HERE

Hop on over to Karen and Diane's house to see what the nosy fly has been up to over there!


Baking In A Tornado                                https://www.BakingInATornado.com

                               

On the Border                                         https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/










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