Friday, May 22, 2026

Fly On The Wall With The Fat-Free Cows

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are welcoming you into our homes to see what a fly might see- or overhear!

 This month has FLOWN by, and we haven't been home much---3 camping trips since my last blog post! Whew! A lot of people don't get the appeal of RVing; they'd rather go on a cruise or fly somewhere to stay at a nice resort. I get that, but if you don't try RVing at least ONCE in your life, you are truly missing out. 



I actually had a fun essay published in AARP this week, extolling the virtues of RV life (for the non-believers). It was an honor to get this assignment,
and I hope you get a chance to read it HERE ( I think you have to subscribe to AARP "Members Edition" online to be able to read my stuff over there--but hey, it's
only $12 a year. C'mon!)


During last week's camping trip to Myakka River State Park, everything was beautiful and perfect, except I got BIT UP by some sort of insect (and I'm still itching). Tis the season for bugs in South Florida! It's all good, though. The nosey fly and his ugly cronies aren't going to stop me from RVing. But at least the fly was privy to some interesting conversations during my camping trips...... 


"This game sucks. The rules are too confusing, I quit!" 
"It's SCRABBLE. Everyone loves this game! And besides, it says that it's for children ages 8 and up" 
"I must be at the cut-off point. Let's just use the squares for firewood in the camp stove tonight." 


"I don't get why teenagers today are so lazy and entitled."
"It's because schools no longer make students wear humiliating uniforms in gym class or force them to play dodgeball---the game that taught us how not to die."


"Why won't you try Bunjee jumping?"
"Are you kidding? I won't even jump off our one-story roof!"


"Why is there no more fat-free creamer?" 
"They ran out of fat-free cows."



"I read somewhere that there are certain things every 60+ year-old should have: Missing Tupperware lids, a collection of plastic bags, and a drawer full of random cords that no one knows what they belong to."
"You forgot to add to that list an expired jar of pickle relish in the pantry and medicine bottles from 1995." 


"I hate it when you pull out your phone everytime I tell you somethng interesting."
"I have trust issues, so I have to use Google to see whether or not you're telling me the truth about living parasites on our eyelashes or fecal particles stuck on toothbrushes stored near the toilet."
"I'm surprised you didn't Google fat-free cows...."


"I used to be a poo-poo perfectionist. Never missed a day. Now, I'm irregular, and I hate it."
"That means you're just a poo-poo pretender."


"Listen to that sound...don't you love hearing the summer cicadas?"
"No, I have tinnitus--I hear the hum of cicadas all day long in my ears."
"At least you don't have to listen to the mooing of fat-free cows in the fridge."
"FINE! I'll go buy the damn fat-free creamer!!"



"I thought you were trying to declutter your closet. Why do you have so many pairs of jeans?"
"I have to keep different sizes. One pile is what I'm using now. Another pile is saved in case I gain more weight--or eat a really big holiday meal. It used to be a larger collection."
"What happened to the others?"
"I ate too many big meals this year."
"Then what's that really big pile for?"
"That's my regret pile---the jeans I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of EVER fitting into."



Since I can no longer fit into my jeans, I might as well go fatten up those cows so I can at least enjoy some creamer with my coffee.....


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA??" As mentioned above, one of my favorite essays is featured this week at AARP/Members Edition, which you can read HERE. If you have trouble finding it or the link doesn't take you directly to it, the title to put in the search bar is "How RVing Revived Our 42-Year Marriage." Over at AARP/The Girlfriend, I had several pieces published (yay!!). The first is an article on how to whiten your teeth naturally HERE plus Cinco De Mayo Recipes HERE and Mother's Day gift ideas HERE and then at AARP/The Ethel, I had an article about air fryer recipes that you can read HERE

Hop on over to Karen and Diane's house to see what the nosy fly has been up to at their place!!

Baking In A Tornado                                https://www.BakingInATornado.com

                               

On the Border                                         https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/


 





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