We were fortunate enough to have 300+ trick-or-treaters this year at our house — we went through 14 bags of candy (well, I probably consumed an entire bag of miniature Reese's myself). It does my heart good to see the wee ones all dressed up! Adorable kids this year, and they were all super polite!
"Yes, we've been practicing synchronized snoring."
"I'd say you nailed it."
"Thanks for helping me chop the onions--I know they're a bit strong! I'm going to throw them in a pan with some butter now to saute them. It's called 'caramelizing' them."
"Well, chopping them has caramelized my eyes."
"That linebaker is.....fat."
"Yeah, they have to bulk up like that for their position. That's why they're linebackers."
"Then I missed my calling because I could have applied for that job with the way I eat!"
"I can't get this annoying song out of my head. Let me sing it for you so that we can share the earworm."
"No thanks----I don't have any space left in my brain. It's already too cluttered. You know how you delete spam from your computer, and it goes into the trash bin? My brain is that trash bin full of unwanted junk emails."
"I know what you can do with my ashes after I'm cremated."
"Can't wait to hear this...what am I doing with your ashes?"
"Hold my funeral at a catholic church, then have the cardinal carry my ashes smoking in the thurible with the incense----that way, when he walks down the aisle waving it to sanctify the congregation, a little bit of me will pass over every guest."
"Your brain really is a trash bin of useless information, isn't it?"
"Trimming your nose hairs again, I see. About time!"
"Yeah, but it's like going through a dense forest with a chainsaw."
"Honey, you don't have to spoil me with fancy jewelry, five-star restaurants, or luxury travel. I like the simple things in life."
"Obviously, because you married me."
"I hate having to use all of these different reader glasses. Even my doctor said my eyesight is bad."
"This also explains why you married me...."
"Why is the toilet paper so low in the bathroom? Don't you ever refill it?"
"Hey, I never signed on for the role of the toilet paper changer for your poop throne."
***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I wrote an emotional essay for AARP recently about unpacking my past through a pile of forgotten diaries. It was an eye-opening life review, and it seems I owe a few apologies. ***UPDATE: For some reason, I cannot post the link to the essay. Go to AARP/Members Only and then add the essay title My High School Journals Helped Me Unpack My Past---into the search bar. Sorry about that! https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/ethels-tell-all-childhood-diary/ I have another article on AARP/The Girlfriend about the one thing that can quickly kill a friendship, which you can read H ERE And
Hop on over to Karen and Diane's house to see what the nosy fly has been up to over there!
Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com
On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/
