Thursday, August 27, 2020

Guest Author Britta Johanna: That One Green Tile

If you have young children or grandchildren, I have the perfect book for you! Author Britta Johanna is on the blog today to share the news that her children's book, That One Green Tile, has been published and is ready for purchase! The timing of the book is perfect since many of us feel we are living in a divided world that needs unity. Below, you will find a brief synopsis of Britta's book and the links to buy the book for your children!




 MONTRÉAL, Québec – August 2020 - Imagine there is someone out there in the world who looks exactly like you. When author/illustrator Britta Johanna was young, her mother presented this scenario to her. This curiosity eventually became the inspiration for That One Green Tile which is a rhyming, melodic children’s picture where the main character is propelled into a journey of the imagination. The book holds a powerful message in today’s world about unity and diversity. It is currently available through Friesen Press, Ingram Wholesale --- Amazon, Barnes & Noble, plus 40,000+ retailers, libraries, and distributers worldwide---as well as electronic distribution channels.

In her mind, the little girl visits locales from Spain to Japan, visualizing this other person in her familiar surroundings and asking the most musing questions. At the end of the story, readers are reminded that for all of our similarities, each one is unique. And for all our differences, we share the same sky.
Britta Johanna is a creative professional, mother, and grandmother originally from Olympia, Washington, U.S. and currently living a life of plenty in Montréal, Québec, Canada. She possesses degrees in Art as well as Education and holds a master’s degree in Museums and Galleries. She was a children’s educator for ten years and has experience working in the visual arts which has placed her in many eclectic roles. Presently, she is completing her next book entitled Whether It’s Dark or It’s Light which explores dreams manifested into reality. 

“My sensitive nature comes through in my words and in my illustrations throughout That One Green Tile offering the reader an uplifting, emotive experience.” –Britta Johanna
For book signings, interviews, or other events contact Britta at: brittasdolcevita@gmail.com 514-826-8541 
www.brittajocreative.com 

Official Book Review from Dakota Love, Reedsy: “Loved it!” “….gorgeously hand-illustrated…,” “…the love that went into the story resonates with every turn of the page.” 
Full review - https://reedsy.com/discovery/book/that-one-green-tile-britta-johanna 
Book Teaser: https://youtu.be/hCGQuclo764 
Ingram Friesen Press 
Hard Cover: ISBN 978-1-5255-6990-6 $20.99 USD $17.99 USD 
Paperback: ISBN 978-1-5255-6991-3 $12.99 USD $10.99 USD 
Electronic ISBN 978-1-5255-6992-0 $3.99 USD 
Channels: Friesen Press, Kindle, iTunes, Google, Nook, Kobo

AUTHOR BIO: 


 Britta Johanna is a children’s book author and illustrator, yet she certainly does not limit herself to those titles in the creative world. Born in Olympia, Washington, United States, Britta began writing children’s books during her first year of teaching after having enrolled in a soul-capturing children’s literature class at university. In fact, That One Green Tile was written twenty years ago, yet the impact that the words have in our present global experience will ring loudly for our human family.

In 2018, Britta was lured to the exciting cultural center of Montréal, Québec to seek inspiration and a spark in the beautiful country of Canada where her daughters and grandson reside. This empowering journey led her to renew her sense of self and create a life of following her passion of poetry and art in children’s books.

The stories that she writes deliver an eloquent rhyming cadence complemented with her ethereal handcrafted paper collages of stunning colors and textures to depict scenes that emote a sense of wonder. She possesses degrees in Art as well as Education and holds a master’s degree in Museums and Galleries. She served as a children’s educator for more than ten years and also exhibited her art on the West and East Coasts of the United States. More than anything, she just likes to play.

Britta spends her time between Seattle, Washington, U.S. and Montréal, Québec, Canada.

SOCIA MEDIA LINKS: 



Friday, August 21, 2020

Fly On The Wall With An Achy Old Man

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are inviting you into our homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.

Like many people during this pandemic, I feel as if I have aged ten years. I get easily fatigued during the day and often struggle to get things done around the house. Mostly it's from boredom. I miss going to the gym, socializing with my girlfriends, and going out to dinner. My husband also complains about aging (but he has been doing this long before COVID-19 struck). He claims that doing even the simplest activities brings on achy muscles for days afterward. I'm not sure if this is just his way of getting out of mowing the lawn or trimming our trees. Either way, I don't mind his excuses anymore. After all, I'm the one sitting in the cool A/C who has adopted the lifestyle of a sloth. I keep promising him that I'll get out in the 95-degree temps to help with the weeding, but then I get distracted by a piece of chocolate cake and a good book and....well, you know the rest. Just living my best sloth life.

But I really DO listen to my husband when he complains, and I take those complaints seriously... sometimes...



"My knee is killing me today. I think I twisted it while pressure cleaning the deck."
"What's the number for that knee surgeon? I need to get you an appointment for the knee replacement we've been talking about."
"Oh, did I say knee? No, I meant that my finger hurts. Just my finger. I don't need surgery."

"I'm too old to crouch down. If there's something on the lowest grocery store shelf, I'm not going for it."
"Oh, so that's why you come home from the store and tell me they were out of my favorite crackers."

"The doctor mentioned 'hyper-gonads'. Hell, I don't even know where my gonads are anymore."
"If you can't bend down to see what's on the grocery shelf, then you're definitely too old to bend down to search for your missing man-parts."


"I've had a headache every single day this week."
"What's the number for that neurologist? You need an MRI. It might be a brain tumor."
"Did I say headache? No, I meant that my earlobe is sore. Just my earlobe. I don't need an MRI."

"That's a LOT of vegetables for dinner. If I eat all of those, I'll go into a food coma and turn into a vegetable."
"Yep, just like the ones at the back of the veggie drawer in the fridge---shriveled up and decayed."

"AARP sent me a reminder notice to renew my membership."
"No, that was a notice to remind you that you're still an old fart."

                           PHOTO: Courtesy of Mommy Needs Vodka

"I think I've misplaced my metabolism. Have you seen it?"
"No, but if we search together, maybe we'll find mine, too."

"Honey, you're still handsome. You could be an underwear model."
"More like Depend undergarments for men model...."


"My back hurts so bad today. I think it's from bending over to paint the pavers."
"What's the number for that back surgeon? You probably need disc replacement surgery."
"Did I say back? Noooo, I meant that I stubbed my toe on the pavers and it hurts now. Just the toe. I don't need spinal surgery."


I think I've finally found the solution to whatever ails my husband. And it didn't cost me a dime.


Check out these other bloggers for a peek into their homes:

Baking In A Tornado                  https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope             https://batteredhope.blogspot.com

Friday, August 7, 2020

17 Things To Do While Quarantined

     If you've tested positive for COVID-19 and you're stuck quarantining at home, there are plenty of things to do to stay busy. Yeah, I know it's hard to see your friends sharing vacation photos and fancy dinners on social media. That's called FOMO (fear of missing out). Just remember though, not all of us are going out partying. I for one am staying home and only visiting my family. Sure, I feel a bit stir crazy and have been eating my way through this pandemic, but I've also discovered some pretty inventive ways to stay busy. You should try a few of these ideas:


1. Learn how to French braid the leg hairs you haven't shaved in three months.

2. During your next Zoom meeting, count how many times Jerry from Accounting coughs and touches his face. 


3. Take a nap.

4. Count your remaining sheets of toilet paper and ration them out square by square with family members.


5. Learn Russian through Rosetta Stone to decipher who's actually meddling in the 2020 elections.

6. Watch the squirrels mating in your oak tree

7. Make hand sanitizer with dual-purpose vodka---half for hand washing, half for happy hour shots.



8. Build a treehouse from random Lego pieces left in the couch cushions by your eight-year-old grandson.

9. Plot the demise of the online Peloton instructor who screams at you to pedal faster every morning.



10. Google 15 ways to reuse leftover antibacterial wipes to make them last longer. 

11. Build a lazy river in your backyard by building a trench and using a very long hose.

12. Take another nap.



13. Collect your toenail clippings for your kids' next homeschooling craft project.

14. After a Facebook ad tells you that a higher density of fat cells prevents the coronavirus from infecting you, order a baker's dozen from Dunkin Donuts to boost your immune system.

15. Take a third nap.


16. Watch reruns of Little House On The Prairie to get ideas on how to spend your time productively during the quarantine.

17. Order a butter churn and a wooden plow from Amazon.


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? You can find me this month on Muddyum HERE!

Friday, July 24, 2020

Fly On The Wall In Funny Family Photos

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, there are three brave bloggers allowing you into their homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.

     As the COVID-19 numbers here in Florida continue to escalate, our family is pretty much still in quarantine mode. Our family sees each other, but that is the extent of our social life right now. No restaurants, bars, parks, or gyms. We only go to one another's homes on the weekends for a swim and backyard barbeques. And that's enough for me because family is #1. Besides, I really enjoy the company of my kiddos.

     I haven't had a chance this month to keep track of some of our funnier conversations, but I HAVE captured a few photos here and there of time with my favorite people on the planet:


This is the face my husband makes when he hasn't had his coffee yet.
                 
                 She definitely takes after her grandfather's side of the family....
                   
I guess that cupcake didn't taste so good after all.

Nothing a little liquor can't fix!

She's learning how to make silly faces from the pro.

Which mask? Decisions, decisions.....

Chicken.....it's what's for dinner.

What are you guys doing out there? No fair! You're having all the fun!

Isn't that what the Doyles are all about?


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? You can find me this week on Humor Outcasts discussing senior citizen beer flavors here: https://humoroutcasts.com/2020/specialty-beers-for-the-geriatric-generation/


Click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

Baking In A Tornado                  https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope             https://batteredhope.blogspot.com
Menopausal Mother                   http://www.menopausalmom.com/

Friday, July 10, 2020

My Favorite Pandemic Memes (Because We Really Need To Laugh)

     It's very difficult these days to ward off depression and frustration with the current state of the world. Here in Florida, our COVID positive test results have skyrocketed, which means rolling back on openings and implementing further restrictions. I agree that it is totally necessary, but let's face it; some of us are going a bit stir crazy after being quarantined for so long. I'm fortunate enough that I get to see my family when we spend time together at each other's houses, but there are plenty of people who are dealing with this alone, and my heart goes out to them. This is a time for us to spread kindness and love and oodles of humor because God knows we need it now more than ever.

     Below I am sharing some of my favorite pandemic-themed memes (found on social media) to help bring a little laughter to your day. Hang in there folks, we'll get through this together!

This first group of memes comes from the Facebook page, Mommy Needs Vodka:










This next batch of memes comes to you courtesy of Purple Clover: 





These last two memes come from a Facebook page called MEMES: 



I hope these memes made you laugh out loud. God knows we all need some humor right now. Stay safe and stay healthy, my friends!

Friday, June 19, 2020

Fly On The Wall During The June Emergence

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are bravely inviting you into their homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.


At our house, life is slowly getting back to normal. We are emerging hesitantly from the quarantine and into the outside world. I'm feeling a bit like one of the Morlocks from H.G. Wells' movie "The Time Machine" ( and I probably look like one, too!). The lifting of lockdown restrictions in my area has meant more time spent with my adult kids and grandkids, which has been awesome. We were able to celebrate my daughter's 31st birthday after a quick stop at the cemetery to take flowers to her twin brother (you can read Jason's story that was published last year in The New York Times HERE). She and her fiance just moved into a house and lucky for us, it is nearby, plus it has a pool! Yay!

The not-so-great thing that happened earlier this month was that my youngest pug became very ill out of the blue and needed emergency lung surgery. He had an extremely rare condition but it was fixable through surgery, so of course, we did whatever possible to save our fur baby's life (Yoda is only three). I'm happy to report that he is now doing GREAT, running around, and playing with his other puggy siblings. Life is good!

As for the fly on the wall, he has overheard a few interesting snippets of humor around our house this month:


"By my calculations, I expect I'll be giving birth in December to my pandemic food baby."
"Lucky you. My COVID-19 food baby is already full-term."

"This coffee went right through me. I need to go to the bathroom ASAP."
"Me too!"
"That's how you can tell we've been married a long time---our bowels are in sync."

"Our water bill has gotten ridiculously high. Maybe we should only shower once a week to lower cost!"
"That would most definitely enforce social distancing."

"I was once young and virile."
"Now you're just old and sterile."

"You give me such large portions at mealtime that I'm afraid I'm going to get a hernia carrying my dinner plate."

"Aren't you going to stay and watch Good Morning America's 'Play Of The Day' segment?"
"No, because Mother Nature is calling and I need to go do my poop of the day."

"Hey Mom, can I borrow your air mattress? I think it's in your closet."
"I doubt that I can find it. There could be another family living in that closet and I wouldn't even know it."

     And....that's a wrap! See you next month with all of the other Morlocks!



Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

Baking In A Tornado                  https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope             https://batteredhope.blogspot.com
Menopausal Mother                   http://www.menopausalmom.com/
Spatulas on Parade                    https://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com  







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