For anyone who has just hit the "big 4-0", here's a little glimpse into what your fifties and sixties will be like:
* You worry about the amount of candles on your birthday cake and keep a fire extinguisher close by, just in case.* The vitamin store down the street has become your one-stop-shop, and you find yourself wishing they had a 24 hour drive-thru when you're constipated and in need of some heavy duty fiber pills at 1:00 a.m.
* You pop Tums like candy after every meal and keep an extra bottle on your nightstand.
* If you're a woman, you start tucking your boobs into your waistband. If you're a man, you worry that you might trip over your testicles if they drop any closer to your ankles.
* You recognize all the songs on the easy listening radio station and sing along with each one.
* Despite hating it as a kid, prune juice tastes pretty good now.
* You consider yourself lucky if you remember where you left your car in the Target parking lot.
* It takes a moment to straighten up your spine once you push yourself off the couch.
* You pay special attention to infomercials advertising the "Girth Girdle", "Pound Around Pantyhose" and the "Belly Buster."
* You're squinting at road signs and switching all of your 40 watt light bulbs for 60's, especially the ones above the bathroom mirror.
* You drag the heating pad out of the linen closet more than once a week.
* Your pills and supplements no longer fit in an ordinary pill box, so you're forced to use a large shoe box instead.
* You own more than one pair of Spanx.
* Your refrigerator is stocked with probiotic yogurt to regulate your digestive system and to prevent a bowel blow-out in public.
* You hate to miss an episode of Dr. Oz and plan your schedule around his daily show.
* Your days of sunbathing are long gone but the leopard spots on your face, arms and legs are a constant reminder of all the times you forgot to wear sunscreen.
* Your butt is beginning to droop like two wet sandbags.
* While at work, you long for your kindergarten days when napping after lunch was encouraged.
* You spend a small fortune on teeth whitening strips to counteract your increased consumption of coffee and red wine.
* You're either sweating or freezing all the time. The weather is no longer your friend, and neither is the thermostat.
No need to worry, my forty-something friends. Pour yourself another prune juice cocktail and embrace your inner leopard!
* You own more than one pair of Spanx.
* Your refrigerator is stocked with probiotic yogurt to regulate your digestive system and to prevent a bowel blow-out in public.
* You hate to miss an episode of Dr. Oz and plan your schedule around his daily show.
* Your days of sunbathing are long gone but the leopard spots on your face, arms and legs are a constant reminder of all the times you forgot to wear sunscreen.* Your butt is beginning to droop like two wet sandbags.
* While at work, you long for your kindergarten days when napping after lunch was encouraged.
* You spend a small fortune on teeth whitening strips to counteract your increased consumption of coffee and red wine.
* You're either sweating or freezing all the time. The weather is no longer your friend, and neither is the thermostat.
No need to worry, my forty-something friends. Pour yourself another prune juice cocktail and embrace your inner leopard!
In honor of the upcoming Father's Day holiday, I have a post about my Dad over on the TODAY SHOW Parenting website if you would like to check it out, VOTE and share. Thanks! You can find it here: http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/my-fathers-chair
