Showing posts with label sharks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sharks. Show all posts

Friday, October 24, 2014

Twelve Ways To Kick Depression's Butt

I hate depression. The last thing I want to do is spend a day curled up in the fetal position  in my closet or hibernating under my bedcovers until the next lunar eclipse. I would much rather spend my time socializing at an Origami Owl convention or attending a class on fifty ways to repurpose dental floss. 

I've always suffered from depression, but a few years ago when menopause was added to the mix, it hit like a one-two punch. Depression has been like a donkey kick to my head, and each day is a struggle to find a happy balance. Short of eating my weight in candy corn and MoonPies, I've discovered twelve ways to kick depression's butt:

    

1.  Surround yourself with pets. They will love you unconditionally and never ask you for a new cell phone or an increase in their allowance.

2.  Listen to the drug-induced music of the 60-70's. Many of the songs from this era include tambourines, harmonicas and lyrics such as, "Sha-la-la-la…..feelin' groovy…" If you listen to this music long enough, pretty soon you'll be playing recorder solos better than Zamfir.

3.  Get plenty of exercise. It boosts metabolism and confidence. Take a Zumba class to shake the junk in your trunk and twerk like a pro. Don't worry if your backside looks like a butt tsunami. Ride that wave with a grin on your face.

4.  Eat chocolate. It has been proven that cacao stimulates the release of endorphins that boost the mood. Just don't mistake cacao with caca.

5.  Go for a drive along a scenic road. It doesn't matter if you're driving an outdated minivan with duct tape holding up the windshield or a transmission that acts like a bucking bronco. Be grateful that it still has air conditioning and a gas pedal.

6. Attend a sporting event, even if you hate sports. Soak up the excitement and the adrenaline of the crowd to lift your spirits. A few beers and a large bucket of chicken wings are exactly what the doctor ordered.

7.  Travel the world. Or at least cross the county line for a change of scenery. Add a little excitement to your life during your travels by canoeing in alligator infested waters. Toss your raft out into the ocean along with a bucket of chum. You'll forget how depressed you are when the sharks start circling your raft…especially once you discover it has a slow leak.

8.  Surround yourself with funny people.  Find your tribe among the jokesters and pranksters. If you're a female, be sure to carry Poise pads in your purse for those uncontrollable moments of intense laughter. 

9. Get back to nature. There is nothing more calming than sitting in a beautiful park with a granola bar and watching squirrels play with their nuts.

10. Change the decor of your home. Spend hours on Pinterest for ideas until your brain is fried and you end up covering your entire home in cheerful, Hello Kitty wallpaper.

11.  Act silly. Spend an entire day talking like Pee Wee Herman until your voice becomes hoarse and your family is ready to throttle you.

12. Learn to appreciate the little things in life and be grateful for what you have. I'm fortunate that I married a man with a great sense of humor and a deep appreciation for all that he has been given. He grew up with a mother who served her eight children cow's tongue smothered in ketchup that she tried to pass off as "Mom's special meatloaf." After one bite, my husband quickly learned to appreciate the basket of stale rolls that could have doubled as hockey pucks. 

Every day is a new challenge, but I'm ready to face whatever lemons life throws at me….as long as I have a blender, vodka and an endless supply of used dental floss to knit into Christmas sweaters. 



***Want More Meno Mama? This week you can find me on The Huffington Post where I'm sharing a comical shopping experience. Read it here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcia-kester-doyle-/one-size-fits-none_b_6017560.html





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