Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, five bloggers are graciously inviting you into their homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.

     The only thing the nosy fly has overheard in my home lately is arguments over the electric bill because I've been pushing the thermostat down to subzero temperatures. Hot flashes and a ninety-degree heat index don't mix, folks. Is summer ever going to end? Bring on the sweater jackets, the sexy boots, and pumpkin lattes. I'm ready for fall!

     In the meantime, I've had some pretty interesting conversations with my husband (that is, when we weren't arguing over who was the last one to use up all the ice cubes in the freezer for margaritas)....


"Did you take that new prescription for your sciatic nerve pain?"
"What prescription?"
"Did it work?"
"Did what work?"
"Did it get rid of your aches and pains?!?"
"What aches and pains?"
"Sounds like your pain is gone....along with your memory!!"

"Good God, woman, what did you put in that food? I can't stop pooping."
"That's not the question you should be asking. The REAL question is, why did you eat an entire quiche?"

"Throw out that under-the-counter paper towel holder. I want something simpler."
"But it's brand new!"
"And it's worth what---three dollars?"
"I'll sell it on Let Go."
"That's so dumb!"
"You never know---there might be a guy in Idaho who really needs it."
"What's he gonna do, pay $3 for the towel rack and another $15 on shipping?"
"Well, it is brand new...."


"I shouldn't have eaten lunch at that fast-food Mexican place. My colon is spitting out those chalupas."
"I'm sure it has nothing to do with the 'breakfast burrito surprise' you ate this morning."

"Doc gave me this special brace to wear on my hand and wrist at night."
"It looks like a spatula."
"Yep, I'll be flipping pancakes in my sleep."

"I need to use a tanning lotion on my body before we go on vacation, otherwise I'm going to look like a plucked chicken by the hotel pool."

"Did you have the tuna salad for lunch today?'
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"Because your breath smells like a fishery."
"Why is it that every time we go out, you don't want to take a purse, so you ask me to carry all of your stuff? You might as well say, 'Hey, can you carry this heavy bag of elephant dung in your cargo shorts? I'm sure it will fit.'"

     I thought that once I became an empty nester, I would run out of material for these Fly On The Wall posts. But I was wrong. My husband never disappoints.....

***Want more Meno Mama? This week you can find me on Funny-ish with some bathroom humor. You can read it HERE


Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

     My guest blogger today is a very talented writer I met at the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop in 2014 and again in 2016. Kathryn (Kate) Mayer and I hit it off immediately when we ended up sitting next to each other at the lunch table, and she has kept me entertained with her funny stories ever since that first day. In 2016 we connected with several other writers at the conference, and our special group, "the women from room 473" was formed. We bounce creative ideas off each other, seek career and personal advise, and support one another in all of our writing endeavors. I am so fortunate to know Kate and all the other talented writers I met at the conference!

     Today, Kate is sharing her colonoscopy story with us while spreading a message about the necessity of having the procedure done. Please welcome her to Meno Mama's site with lots of comment love.... and spread the word!

        NOT YOUR TYPICAL ASS STORY