Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are graciously inviting you into their homes for a glimpse of what goes on behind closed doors.

     The fly got a good look last week at how crazy life is with my funny husband. We were sitting in the garden Sunday night and I was practicing a neck exercise called, "Fish Kisses," to strengthen my ever-expanding gobbler. Mac asked me what on earth I was doing, so I explained to him the benefits of toning the neck and jaw muscles for a more youthful look. "Well, I've been practicing that shuffle dance that's all over Tik Tok," he said. "It helps tone my leg muscles." 

     "Okay," I snickered. "Show me how to do it." I watched as Mac stood, held the deck railing, and began kicking one leg backward before kicking with the other. I couldn't stop laughing. "That's not the shuffle!" I cried. "You look like a kicking donkey!!"

     So now it is a tradition in our house that whenever Mac thinks I'm bored, upset, or anxious, he grabs the kitchen counter and does a quick series of donkey kicks to make me laugh. And it works every time.  

     The nosy fly on the wall also eavesdropped on some random, strange remarks that were made this month:

                                At last, we are FULLY vaccinated!!

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking in a tornado. Today, six bloggers are inviting you into their homes for a glimpse of their private lives if you were a "fly on the wall."

     At our house we recently celebrated my husband's birthday, which pretty much lasted an entire week, because that's how we Doyles roll. Lunch at our favorite Japanese gardens, some yummy "tuxedo" cake, a special family dinner on another day at a beautiful Polynesian restaurant, more cake, a fun afternoon on jet skis at the beach, celebratory libations in our backyard tiki hut and....did I mention there was CAKE?

     We also shared some funny conversations along the way. If you were a fly in my house looking for a bit of humor, this is what you would've heard:


"The dishwasher repairman is here, but he's still in our driveway. What's taking him so long to get out of his truck and into our house?"
"He's digging around, looking for something in the back of the truck."
"Its been thirty minutes! If he hasn't fallen into the Black Hole by now, then he must be searching for Narnia."

"Look Hon, I bought a new box of taco shells at the store---it says they're 20% larger shells."
"Yeah, large tacos for LARGE people."
"Speak for yourself...."

"Our cockroaches in south Florida aren't just normal-sized bugs; they're chupacabras."

"Why are you wiggling your finger at me?"
"Come hither, my love."
"Is that your come-hither-finger?"
"You've been watching too many episodes of Game of Thrones."

"Good Lord, that fart was so loud it scared off all the cats in the neighborhood."

"You need to put a heating pad on your leg."
"Did you say an EATING pad?"
"No! A HEATING pad."
"Well good, because an EATING pad would probably take a large chunk out of my calf."

"I'm so tired of this summer heat. I melt every time I go outside. Whenever winter hibernation begins, I'm totally doing it."

"I just cleaned out the vegetable drawer in the freezer. I found a three-year-old, fuzzy lime in there that required a hazmat team to remove it."

"The requirements for renewing my driver's license at the DMV are ridiculous. I need a ton of paperwork just to prove my identity. They might as well ask for a urine sample or the results from my 23 and Me test. But I draw the line on sperm samples!"


     I'm totally serious about the hibernation thing. If you don't hear for me for awhile, you'll know why. Just ask the fly.......

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I'm up on Robot Butt this week with a humorous spin on advice for your college bound son. https://www.robotbutt.com/2018/08/21/12-tips-to-share-with-your-son-before-his-departure-for-college/ 

GOOD NEWS! Just learned that I was awarded Top 100 Mom Blogger at Brand Ballot. I don't know who nominated me but thank you! Time to break out the champagne!