Showing posts with label Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Man. Show all posts

Friday, August 12, 2016

15 Ways Your Man Proves He Loves You

     My husband and I recently celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary, but I'll admit, reaching this milestone hasn't always been easy. We've had our share of trials and tribulations that have put our relationship to the test. Yet somehow, we've always landed on our feet and back in each other's arms.

     Since the beginning, my husband has proven that he has the "staying power" necessary to make our marriage work, and that he takes his wedding vow, "For Better Or Worse," very seriously. Obviously trust, understanding, respect for one another, loyalty, good communication skills and patience play a big part in a lasting relationship, but it goes beyond that. In many cases, it's the little things that are the glue that keep a couple together. Forget about sappy Hallmark cards or the wilted flowers from the refrigerated section of the grocery store. If your man is truly in it for the long haul with you, he's proven it by doing some of the following things:

1.) Digging a slippery contact out of your eye when its rolled too far back under the lid for you to retrieve....even though it's 3:00 a.m. and makes him incredibly squeamish.

2.) Goes to the convenient store in the middle of the night to grab a box of tampons for you even though he's the only man in line without a six-pack of beer and a case of Marlboro cigarettes.

3.) Walks the dogs when its raining outside so that you don't have to get wet (or get peed on).

4.) Gives up his tickets to a hockey playoff game to stay home and help you eradicate the colony of lice that have taken up residence on your seven-year-old's head.

5.)  Plunges the unidentifiable thing in the toilet that NO ONE claims is theirs.

6.) Does his best to throw something together for dinner when you've had a bad day and can't move from the couch. The meal may be made with an unearthed, frozen hunk of pork roast that you could have sworn you discarded a year ago, but that's okay, because everything tastes good smothered in ketchup.

7.) Endures watching a girly movie with you and isn't afraid to tap into his feminine side by shedding a few tears during the show (or maybe he's just crying because you ate the last of the buttered popcorn).

8.) Doesn't mind picking up the kids from their after school activities when you're running late. Never mind that he also enjoys embarrassing the kiddos by dancing in his seat when a Pitbull song comes on the radio.

9.) Kills every cockroach and spider you find in the house. This has nothing to do with the fact that your loud shrieks break the sound barrier and cause his ears to bleed whenever an insect crosses your path.

10.) Tells you that you're beautiful even when you wake up looking like an angry porcupine.

11.) Offers to clean the house when you're frantically working to meet a deadline. If he rearranges the kitchen and switches everything around in the pantry, just smile and thank him. Does it really matter if your favorite pasta is hidden behind a large box of mothballs?

12.) Holds your hair away from your face when you're barfing the questionable sushi you had at the all-you-can-eat Japanese buffet he insisted on trying.

13.) Retires to the couch for the evening so that his snoring won't keep you awake. Then again, he might just be afraid that you'll cover his face with a pillow if he snores while sleeping next to you.

14.) Scratches that place on your back that you can never reach when it itches. But don't be surprised if his hand wonders elsewhere during the process. He might have an itch that needs scratching, too.

15.) Lets you drive the newer car in the family while he putters to work in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car that should have been put out of its misery ten years ago.



     I've heard countless women complain that their men don't bring them flowers or candy to show their appreciation. Ladies, you can keep your roses and chocolates. I'd rather have a man who finds angry porcupines attractive and has great plunger skills.



***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I am thrilled to have my first article featured on Parent.co this week! Check out my funny NEW post on dealing with the dreaded HEAD LICE! Eek! You can read it here: http://www.parent.co/the-5-stages-of-head-lice-from-denial-to-depression/ 

Friday, December 26, 2014

Ten Reasons My Husband Is My best Friend


   I met my husband thirty years ago on a blind date after we shared a month of daily phone conversations. Before we met face to face, his quirky sense of humor won me over. I knew I'd never have a dull moment if I married this man.

     And I've been laughing ever since.

     My love for him deepened after we had four children together and I saw how important family was to him. He encompasses everything a woman looks for in husband material---he's loyal, loving, trustworthy and kind.

     Although I admire all of these qualities in my man, it's his off-the-wall humor that I adore most. The things he does for me would send most husbands packing:

  • He doesn't have a problem with hitting the drugstore in his pajamas at 2:00a.m. for a tube of Monostat and a bottle of Pepto Bismol. He'll grab a six pack of beer while he's there and tell the checkout lady that he's hosting a helluva party.

  • He sacrifices watching the big game on TV to attend the neighbor's bris. For their dog.

  • He loves his in-laws despite their quirky habits of being cat whisperers and food addicts.

  • When our children were young and we couldn't afford entertainment for their birthday parties, he would don various costumes and morph into “Sven The Happy Swede” or “Daffy The Dysfunctional Clown.”

  • He'll eat my Velveeta surprise casserole without complaint even though it tastes like wallpaper paste and looks like a science experiment gone wrong.

  • Whenever we share a double decker fudge sundae, he sacrifices a few calories by saving the last bite for me.

  • He has plunged our temperamental, overflowing toilet more times than I can count and chased the kids through the house with the dirty, dripping plunger.

  • He doesn't mind being called on in the middle of the night to rescue his teenage daughter when the police detain her for sitting in her friend's car in a baby booster seat without a seatbelt. Yes, she really pulled this stunt.
  • He's patient with me when he's feeling amorous and I'm hotflashing like a mofo. Sex is not an option when my lady parts feel like an Easy Bake Oven.

  • He's always ready to protect me from a cockroach invasion. His holster is loaded at all times with a can of Raid on one side and a shoe on the other.

     Although there is nothing in our wedding vows about having to pull clingons from the dog's butt or scrubbing algae off a smelly turtle tank, our love can be measured by the lengths we will go to make each other smile.

     And in those moments when we are sporting magnifying glasses and nit combs over a child's lice-infested head, I am reminded why I married this man. He is my toilet-plunging, roach-stomping, lice-picking husband.


     In other words, my hero.




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