Menopausal Mother

    Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group postings hosted by Karen of  Baking In A Tornado. Today, 14 bloggers are inviting you into their homes to catch a glimpse of their life if you were a fly on the wall.

     The first two weeks of October rocked! National Geographic came to our house to film a follow-up episode about my pet chinchillas. The crew was delightful and made us feel very comfortable. If you'd like to see the original television program with Hubs in action at the exotic vet pet's office, check out Nat Geo Wild if you have cable On Demand. The name of the episode was "Chinchillin' Like a Villain." Then you can click on this website to watch the follow-up video they filmed at our home: http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/wild/dr-ks-exotic-animal-er/videos/animal-update-kirby-the-chinchilla/ What a blast!

     The other exciting thing that happened this month was that I got to meet my idol, NY Times Best Selling Author Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess). Folks, she is unbelievable funny and sweet! I was thrilled to get a signed copy of her recent book.

     After all the excitement died down, things were pretty quiet around my house unless you count coughing, sneezing and nose blowing as rigorous activity. Yes, the dreaded head cold from hell invaded our home and is still lingering here like the ghost from Christmas past. My only reprieve from this miserable ordeal was the birthday I celebrated last week. It was great having my family around and of course, the perfect opportunity to pick up some weird tidbits of conversation from them to include in my FOW blog post!

"I just accidentally squirted nose spray into my eyes, thinking it was my eyes drops. At least my eyes will breathe better now. "

"If you eat that chunky bleu cheese dressing, it's going to be chunky on your salad AND chunky on you thighs."

"If you let me sleep in a little later in the mornings, I promise your world will be a better place."

"It's a good thing snot isn't fattening because I've been swallowing a ton of it with this head cold. "
"That's 'snot' funny..."


"I need a new mirror. This one makes me look fat."

"If I was a pigeon, I know EXACTLY who I would poop on."

"I'm not sleeping in the same bed with you tonight. Your snoring is so loud that it shakes the bed. Last night it registered 4.3 on the Richter Scale. "

"I'm great at multitasking. I can start three diets at once while simultaneously snarfing down a bag of Hershey's Kisses."

"It never fails that when I'm having a great hair and makeup day, I don't run into anyone I know. But the days I pop over to the grocery store in my pajama jeans, a stained t-shirt and ratty hair, I run into my entire graduating class in the liquor aisle."

"If parents were smart, they'd just put food dispensers in their teenager's rooms and call it a day."

"My granddaughter spent the night last night. This morning she decided to teach me the entire alphabet by naming three things for each letter. All this before coffee. I forgot how much 3 yr. olds chatter."

"I was really excited to receive tickets in the mail for a complimentary lunch until I saw that it was for a pre-planning seminar held at a funeral and cremation center."



     Despite being sick, my family is still a great source of entertainment. Where else can I laugh so hard that I cough, sneeze, and pee in my pants simultaneously?

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? This week I was featured on BLUNTmoms with my post, FIVE STAGES OF A HEAD COLD. You can read it here: http://www.bluntmoms.com/five-stages-head-cold/

     It's that time again! For those of you new to my blog, welcome to another monthly edition of Fly On The Wall group postings, where 14 bloggers invite you into their homes for a peek at what goes on behind closed doors.

     This has been a quiet month for us, so I believe the fly has been catching up on his naps. I wish I could do the same. Most of my time now is taken up with book marketing strategies---the difficult side of a writing career. It's incredibly time consuming and takes away from what I love doing most---WRITING! The good news though is that my tech girl designed a new page on my blog for the book, which you can see here: http://www.menopausalmom.com/p/who-stole-my-spandex.html

     If you were a fly buzzing around my house this month, here are a few remarks you would have heard floating around the Doyle house:


"I would never go on a cruise ship. Too many rogue waves out there."

"Hey Dad, come here and let me prove to you how strong I've gotten since I've been lifting weights. I'll pick you up."
"No thanks---I don't want to end up with a broken clavicle."

"I wish my inner editor would stop waking me up at 4:00am to share her ideas with me."

"A fart is just a warning sign of what's to come."

"Our neighbor is having a garage sale and he's selling a giant plastic worm that kids can ride. Should I buy it?"
"No, I'm not riding the worm with you."



"I'd wrap that in bacon."
"You'd wrap anything in bacon and eat it, including your pillow."

"Can you please tell our son that changing the toilet paper will not cause brain damage?"

"Karma takes too long to catch up. I'd rather just smack you right now."


"I don't have a bucket list but I have a F@%k it list that never ends."

"Just because my reality is different from yours doesn't mean I'm crazy."

"Of course I love you, but you sound better when your mouth is closed."

I'd like to share a funny little story with you that happened yesterday. If you read my previous post about the odd things that occur around my husband--- http://www.menopausalmom.com/2014/12/good-intentions-gone-wrong.html ---then this story will not surprise you.

One of my chinchillas had diarrhea late in the afternoon, which can be dangerous with these types of animals. I called my vet, only to learn that he was out of town for a few days. They gave me the name of another vet at a different office and suggested I take my chinchilla there. Luckily, my husband had just gotten home from work and offered to take our pet so that I wouldn't have to change my dinner plans.

He was gone for two hours, and I began to worry that something was seriously wrong. Just as I was about to call him, he walked in the front door with a big grin on his face. Apparently, National Geographic was at the vet's office filming for their series, "National Geographic in the Wild" and asked if they could video my husband and our chinchilla during their doctor's visit! How crazy is that? My friends asked if I was disappointed that I wasn't there, and my answer was a resounding "NO!"  I hadn't washed my hair in two days and was still sporting a bleach-stained t-shirt from the previous day that had a few grease spots on it from my lunch. I'm grateful that I WASN'T there.

The episode will air some time in the fall---I'll keep you posted. Now, hop on over to the homes of the other bloggers participating in today's Fly post and see what they've been up to!


Want more Meno Mama? A few days ago I was a featured guest again on one of my favorite sites--Blunt Moms. You can read the post here: http://www.bluntmoms.com/little-white-lies-women-tell/