Menopausal Mother

 I received the most amazing box of goodies from Alltrue a few weeks ago and I am in love with their products! Let me share a little info about the company (taken from their site): 

Alltrue is a membership uniting a community that stands for good, seeks truth, and takes action — connecting socially conscious individuals everywhere who are out to build a better world. Best known for their flagship seasonal subscription box, they're adding new features every season to help you find your people, explore your values, and discover the brands and products that are making a difference. 

Truth is at the heart of everything they do. As product curators and community leaders, they find the facts and share them with you. They also encourage and empower women by offering opportunities and support that foster personal growth and professional achievement, within their walls and around the world. 

Alltrue believes that the community we build – one of shared values and conscious choices – can benefit everyone. By being a source of encouragement, inspiration, and just plain good, the everyday choices we make together have the power to change the future of global consumption. 

When Alltrue reached out to me to try their products, I was happy to do so once I saw all the wonderful things they were offering to send. First, let me say that the box itself is really pretty and super sturdy---the kind of box I can use for storing all sorts of things in an attractive, organized way. Here is a list of items that came in the summer box I received:

1. MPOWERED--Luci Solar String Lights. These cheerful, conveniently-packed lights are bright, decorative, and PERFECT for outdoors and camping trips.

2. Eco Eyewear--Avala Tortoise Cateye Sunglasses. Love, love, LOVE these stylish, lightweight glasses! I've been wearing them every time I go out and have received tons of compliments. They protect my eyes and flatter my face shape. Excellent!

3. Pepper + Vetiver--Set of 3 Nesting Bowls. Oh my goodness, these bowls are practical and look beautiful on my dinner table when I use them as serving dishes. 

4. Sanctuary Project--Thick Gold Hoops. These are my comfortable, go-to earrings. Since they are small hoops, I use them whenever I wear my hair in a ponytail or bun. 

5. Volim--Love Scrub. This amazing Microderm exfoliant is a 3-in-1 scrub with Hyaluronic, Red Tea, and Seaweed. My skin feels as smooth as a baby's butt after using it! 

6. Adesse New York-- Power Couple Nail Care Duo. This is a nail growth optimizer and cuticle oil duo. I just started using it, so it will be a bit before I see any results. Otherwise, I think it will work well on my nails because right now they need a lot of help. 

Also in my box was a comfy pair of Maggie's Organic Heathered Slouchy Socks (soooo soft!) and Wyld Konjac Facial Cleansing Sponge---which I have not tried yet. But judging by the hard, grainy surface, I think this sponge is up for the job! 

Interested in becoming a member of Alltrue to receive your seasonal box of goodies? This is how it works:   

Alltrue Membership "is a quarterly (4 times per year) membership - the box ships directly to you for free! There are 2 types of memberships: quarterly and annual

Quarterly Members pay $54.95 per season to receive their box. Annual Members pay $199.80 and commit to a full year in advance, which allows them access to better pricing ($49.95 per season; a $20 yearly savings), and Annual Members also get access to Box Customization, which means that they have access to choose their products in every choice category every season. Quarterly memberships have the opportunity to choose in up to three choice categories every season.

Both Quarterly and Annual Members get access to the seasonal Add-On Market, which is open for around a week at the start of every season. Members can shop the best socially conscious products at prices as low as 70% off! The add-on market has over 800 products from favorite household name brands – everything from toothpaste to handbags.

In addition, the members-only Essentials Shop just launched. The Essentials Shop is an always-open market featuring hundreds of replenishable household essentials, from the cleanest dish soap to the most sustainable toothpaste. Items purchased in the Essentials Shop will ship within two business days. More about the Alltrue membership can be found here.

Alltrue recently launched a podcast too! There are so many perks to the membership.

Alltrue’s curation commitments and 2020 impact report can be found here. Alltrue works with artisans worldwide and emphasizes the importance of women's empowerment."

I was very impressed with all of the products I received, most of which would be super expensive if bought individually. With the Alltrue Membership, you get a LOT of products for a much lower price, which makes it totally worth joining the community. Besides, it's a lot of fun to receive a box of goodies every season---like Christmas morning four times a year!

Interested in joining? You can become a member now and get their new fall box here: https://alltrue.com

     I am very pleased to introduce to you today my last summer guest blogger, Beth Blacker….Call Me Crazy (gotta love the name of her site!!). I "met" Beth through Facebook when she messaged me about post that I wrote. We have been talking ever since, and I was delighted to learn that she lives in Florida! Being mid-lifers, we share very similar experiences in growing up, marriage and raising kids. When I checked out her blog, I found it to be funny and totally relatable. Which means you'll like her as much as I do! In today's post about raising teens,  young adults and questioning our parenting skills, I found myself nodding in agreement over the three points if activities that a mom usually finds herself doing…..see if you agree!

     Please welcome Beth to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love. Thanks!

     Welcome to another addition of the Fly On The Wall group postings. Fourteen brave bloggers are allowing their readers to step into their homes for a glimpse of what goes on behind closed doors.

     In the Doyle house, this month has been all about holiday preparations. The Christmas tree is up, the house is decorated inside and out, the frantic shopping has begun and there are oodles of baking goods in my pantry for a weekend of marathon cooking.  I look forward to having my family here as we sip mimosas, open gifts, start a balled-up wrapping paper war and feast on all the delicacies of the big Christmas dinner. My favorite part of the evening is sitting around the fire pit in our backyard as we cozy up to the warmth and listen to family members who sing and play guitar. When I look at all the lovely faces in the glow of the fire, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to belong to this spectacular family.

     If you were a fly on the wall in my house this month, you'd see me designing my own holiday Somee Card memes, which I'm including in today's post. You'd also hear the following snippets of conversation:



"To some, it's a tin of Christmas cookies. To me, it's a support group."

"You could have helped me decorate the tree today instead of being so lazy."
"I'm not lazy. I'm energy efficient."

"There's never a happy ending from a story that begins with, 'that one time I drank Fireball at a holiday party….'"

" I can't enjoy the Christmas feast this year without feeling guilty. You've demonized all the calories."

"It's obvious you're a holiday hoarder. You need a decoration intervention."

"Thank God we have hurricane resistant windows, otherwise they would have cracked when she hit that high note on the Christmas carol."

"It's not good holiday food unless it's really fattening….and you can feel your heart beat slowing down while you eat."

"Need help wrapping all these Christmas presents? …..said no teenager ever."

"Why on earth did you buy a red star for the top of the tree? We now have a brothel Christmas tree."
"I'm going to try to stick to my diet during the holidays."
"I can't do that. I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet."
"What condition?"
"I get hungry."

"I hope you don't wait until the last minute to do your Christmas shopping at a Walgreens drugstore. I don't want to find the Ho Ho Ho Enema Gift Set there."

"Forget 'Elf On The Shelf.' I have 'Steve Up Your Sleeve' and 'Elvis On Your Pelvis.' "

"Whoever said 'Patience is a virtue' never experienced instant gratification."
"Or long line at Walmart."

"I have a lot of decorating to do today, but the coffee will keep me going until it's acceptable to drink heavily spiked eggnog."



MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!




Don't forget to grab your copy of my book, "WHO STOLE MY SPANDEX?" from Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble! Thanks!

 
      Traditionally, Valentine's Day is a celebration for the ladies. The name automatically conjures up images of candle light dinners, flowers and decadent chocolates nestled in red satin hearts. Men have a completely different perspective of Valentine's Day---one that involves obligation and pressure to get the right gift. I've seen plenty of them break into a sweat while trolling the card aisle at Hallmark. They know that if they screw this day up, instead of getting a roll in the hay, they'll end up in the dog house with Fido The Farter.
     Fellas, do you want your Valentine's day (and night) to be a success? If your goal is to reach the Holy Grail of love before the champagne grows warm, follow this check list of do's and don'ts for the big day:


* Don't buy that cheesy, stuffed bear in the bin at the drugstore checkout line. Chances are your special lady has twenty more just like it in a garbage bag in the back of her closet. If she wants something cute and fuzzy, buy her a hamster or a ferret.

* Nothing screams "last minute gift" more than three dozen wilted roses for three dollars from a roadside stand. And don't pick your neighbor's dandelions or daisies in an effort to create a clever bouquet. A florist you are not. Brush the cobwebs off your wallet and buy some REAL flowers that last more than a day.

* When it comes to chocolate, don't buy that cheap crap that leaves a waxy feel to the roof of your mouth. If the candies are covered in a white film, the box has most likely been sitting on the store shelf since Valentine's Day 2010. This is the one time you don't want to skimp on quality. Buy your woman some damn Godivas.

* Wine makes a perfect gift, unless it comes from the Swamp Gator Winery in the Florida Everglades. The same goes for champagne. If it was bottled in a garage in Joplin, Missouri, you might want to shell out some extra cash for the good stuff.

* Taking your significant other to Denny's for the $1.99 dinner special is NOT a romantic gesture. Take her to a restaurant that has more than three stars attached to its name. If salisbury steak and pancakes are listed on the menu and there's a chocolate dipping fountain in the center of the room, you're in the wrong place.

* Don't shop the local flea market for fake silver that looks like it came from a vending machine at a carnival. If you're going to be THAT cheap, the least you can do is throw in a bag of popcorn or roasted peanuts.

* When your woman hinted that tickets to a show might be nice, she wasn't referring to Monster Jam where the 4x4s have tires the size of three story donuts. Get her a dozen Krispy Kremes and take her to the theatre.

* Thinking of shopping at Victoria's Secret for your love? Be very careful. If you buy her a thong two sizes too small, she'll obsess about her weight. If you buy her one in rhino size that doubles as a slingshot, you risk sleeping on the couch for a week.

* Caviar is a tricky gift. If it's Beluga from the Caspian Sea, your partner will love it. If the container of caviar is marked, "Made In Hong Kong", she might end up in the bathroom all night. The only action you'll see will be with a mop and a bottle of disinfectant.


     Fellas, if you follow this check list, you're sure to have a rewarding evening full of surprises….or maybe just a furry ferret.

Catch my weekly article at In The Powder Room. I'm talking about getting my freak on once the last kid leaves the nest! Read it here: http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/home-time/2014-02-countdown-getting-freak-on.html

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     Christmas 2001 will forever be known as The Day Of The Neighborhood Flu Epidemic. There is nothing worse than spending a major holiday like Christmas with your head in the toilet when you should be taking advantage of the biggest, guilt-free binge fest day of the year. There is no cheerful clinking of champagne glasses or popping sugar cookies in your mouth faster than an aardvark sucking up ants. There is only LONELY time in the bathroom to contemplate the identity of the fiesta-colored items that erupt from your stomach into the toilet bowl. Nor is it fun to be a party of one when you've been quarantined from family and friends like the town pariah. Swapping gifts on Christmas is fine. Germs, not so much. But the flu bug doesn't have discerning tastes and will happily descend upon whatever poor, unsuspecting host it can find.
     In 2001, we attended the annual neighborhood holiday party, which is traditionally held a few days before Christmas. As was custom, the entire block gathered for the festive event at a neighbor's home to chat with old friends and strain the waistband of our pants with an array of holiday foods. Little did we know that our stomachs and intestines were preparing to take us for a ride on the toilet train to hell.

     There was a child at the party who was recovering from a recent bout of the flu, but none of us gave it a second thought as we chatted over rum balls and queso dip.
     The party was a success and we left that night with full bellies and happy hearts.  We had no clue that an invisible, uninvited guest had followed the majority of us home.
     By Christmas Eve, the entire block was infected by the nefarious flu bug that took us down one by one like dominoes. The bubonic plague was alive and well in our neighborhood. The "Welcome To Our Home" plaque outside our front door should have been changed to: "Welcome To The Vomitorium." While others were listening to "O Holy Night" and sipping apple cider, my oldest son and I were singing "O Wretched Night", curled in the fetal position with a vomit bowl between us.  It didn't matter that the stockings were not hung by the chimney with care, because old St. Nicolas was not going to be coming there.  The ONLY thing that mattered to me was the sprinting distance between my mattress and the bathroom door. The problem was that I couldn't decide which end should hit the toilet first----my mouth or my backside. I ended up sitting on the throne with the vomit bowl in my lap and called it a BOGO---buy one get one free.
     That night we missed the candle light Christmas Eve services at church, along with the big solo my son was to perform with the choir. He was too busy making a casserole in the toilet bowl to be bothered with hitting a few high notes. The Hubs was forced to pull double duty with babysitting, gift wrapping and stocking stuffing, not to mention all those pesky, "Assembly Required" packages stored in the garage.

     Christmas morning I was greeted by the cheery sounds of retching and moaning behind the bathroom door. The Hubs was down for the count, along with two more of our children. I knew it was a bad start to the day when no one raced into the living room to see what surprises Santa had left under the tree. The only surprise I wanted from Mr. Claus was a second toilet, along with a gallon of Pepto-Bismol and Kaopectate.
   
 Once we reached four hours of vomit-free bliss, we felt well enough to attend the big family dinner at my folk's home. Selfish perhaps, but we were stir crazy from staring into the well of a toilet bowl for twenty-four hours and needed to get out of the house. We took into consideration that our motley crew looked like Typhoid Mary survivors, but we did our best to control the contagious bug by refraining from bodily contact.  At least the surgical masks and gloves we donned made for some interesting Christmas family photos.
     As we drove home that night and congratulated ourselves for surviving the holiday with our intestines intact, we heard the sound no parent ever wants to hear while they're behind the wheel of a car.
     "Mommy....Daddy....I think I'm going to be sick...."
     If we pretended not to hear our youngest daughter in the backseat, we were certain the specter of illness would surely disappear.
     Apparently Santa had other plans for us.
     Is it any wonder why the following year there was a new porcelain throne under the Christmas tree with my name on it?