Menopausal Mother

     "It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Yes, I have been singing this for weeks. My excitement starts on Thanksgiving morning and lasts for the next five weeks. Like a gazillion other people on the planet right now, our family is in full holiday mode. Rather than describe it all to you, I'm going to share a batch of holiday photos for today's edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado.

     Before getting into the photos, I'm pleased to let you know that lately, I've been a regular contributor to the amazing website CONSIDERABLE. I love working with the editors over there and they make my job so easy! If you'd like to read my latest self-help articles, you can find them all HERE. Another awesome thing that happened recently was getting one of my personal essays published on MOTHERWELL, a website that has been on my bucket list for several years. This piece is near and dear to my heart---it's about my mother and her Christmas cookie baking tradition. I miss her terribly during the holidays----she was my rock. Please take a moment to read,  Learning To Make My Mothers Holiday Cookies Again.

     As I mentioned earlier, the excitement of the holidays begins for me on Thanksgiving morning when the family gathers around to prep the turkey and watch the Macy's Day Parade.


   Once the turkey leftovers are gone, I begin decorating the house for Christmas. First the outdoor lights, then the tree (but only after a cup or two of spiked eggnog).



     Speaking of eggnog, what would the Christmas season be without holiday parties? We attended some fun ones as well as the magical boat parade that our city hosts each year.



     And then comes the baking....lots and LOTS of baking. Hundreds of cookies are stored in my refrigerator right now, just waiting to be gifted to my friends and family. I have eaten so much sugar lately that I'm surprised I'm not in a diabetic coma.



     But nothing is as important as being with my family during the holidays, and I feel blessed to have my kids and grandkids living nearby. They are the reason for my joy during "the most wonderful time of the year", and the reason I'm still singing the song. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! XOXO


 


Make sure you click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

 
      Welcome to my special Fly On The Wall holiday edition, hosted by Karen of http://www.bakinginatornado.com. We've made the fly quite dizzy this month with our frenzied holiday  preparations. He might have landed in my spiked eggnog the other day, so don't believe everything he tells you that he overheard in my home. It's probably the rum talking.

"Oh good, it's Christmas! Time to play my favorite holiday board game, 'Gorge, Party And Purge.'"

"Elves are the illegitimate children of Mrs. Claus, who was the original ho. That's why Santa yells, "Ho Ho Ho!'"

"Reindeer poop is magic fertilizer for the garden---kind of like Miracle Grow."
"Does this mean the roses will sprout antlers?"


"You have too many tubs full of holiday stuff here! You belong on Hoarders….the Christmas edition."

"Santa must have been agoraphobic. He only left his house once a year to drop off gifts and pilfer cookies."

"What is the nog in eggnog? The dregs of the egg?"

"Stop feeding the dog so much Christmas ham. Pretty soon she's going to need a pug girdle."

"I think I have a holiday yeast infection."
"Then you're out of luck because I don't think they make Monistat for men."

"He hated having to wear that tux to the party. He was practically foaming at the mouth for a beer…..it made him look like a rabid penguin."


"Are those moose knuckles in your pants or are you just happy to meet me under the mistletoe?"

"I love your holiday rum cake but it always gives me heartburn. I'll need a barrel o' Tums after eating a slice. An enema might also be in order."

"What does he want for Christmas?"
"An alligator, but it needs to be toothless."
"Why, so it can gum him to death?"

"Are you planning on spending New Year's Eve passed out on the front lawn again?"
"I wouldn't mind it as long as there aren't anymore fire ants on the grass. Last year I woke up looking like I had measles."

"What a nice surprise! A Coconut Bliss pillow from the mattress store for Christmas. It smells like vanilla cake. If I wake up a few pounds heavier tomorrow and the pillow is missing, you'll know why."


"Feeling blue during Christmas? All you need is pug therapy!"

"I  just had a two layer burp---Special K cereal on top of taco salad. I think I'll follow it up with some Christmas fudge."

"I don't need Viagra. I have you."
"Now THAT'S the holiday gift that keeps on giving!"

"Elves are the mischievous cousins of yard gnomes. Forget 'Elf On The Shelf.' We have Elf In The Butt."

"Time to upgrade your radio for Christmas, Mom. You know, they do make ones that aren't as big and heavy as a cinder block."

"I just got my period after two years, just in time for Christmas. WTH, I'm menopausal! Well played, Santa."

"Next year I want to be in the Christmas boat parade."
"Forget it---the pirate rum ships disappeared a long time ago."

"I'm not trying to be a grinch but I'm tired of putting up Christmas yard decorations. The lights always burn out and inevitably the reindeers will end up beheaded. The others have backward antlers. They're dyslexic reindeers."


     Merry Christmas from our crazy home to yours! Now put down that eggnog and go visit the other merry bloggers participating in today's Fly On The Wall!


***Don't forget to check out my weekly post over at In The Powder Room. I've put a new spin on some old Christmas tunes. Check out, "I'm Dreaming Of A Cheap Christmas" here: http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/me-time/2013-12-dreaming-cheap-christmas.html