The following are snippets of conversation I've stolen from my family when they were most vulnerable and clueless. In other words, when they were:
1. Lost at the zoo
2. Trapped for hours in the car on the highway to hell
3. Yelling at each other over a blaring episode of mating warthogs on National Geographic
4. Stuck in aisle 7 at the hardware store....with nary a cell phone in sight.
WARNING!!!! IT'S ABOUT TO GET A LITTLE WEIRD HERE!!!!
"No farting by the fire pit---you might blow up the neighborhood!"
"Who wrote 'Lazy Ass' in pen across all of my Breathe Right Nose Strips?"
"I just pooped so hard I think my intestines fell out."
"Hey, at least you went! I haven't pooped in 3 days. I feel like a trash compactor."
"Dear Lord, this family is poop-obsessed!"
"Hey, your 1099 tax form just came in."
"Is it addressed to 'Loser'?"
"I thought you were on a diet."
"I am, but the chocolate bar was mocking me."
"Can you clean out the rain gutters today?"
"I'd just as soon have hemorrhoids."
"That Prozac you're on just makes you stupid silly."
"What are those brown specks in the dog's water bowl?"
"It's special pug fecal water---made from the finest backyards in America."
"Those pork chops were great but I think I have an entire pig stuck in my molar."
"I can't walk that fast! My thighs are going to chafe and create a fire."
"Just tell them if they don't vote for you that you're going to make a voodoo doll out of them and stab it every night."
"I'm so full from dinner---I think my colon just popped."
"You've exhausted me and wiped out all my memory cells."
"Did you just fart?"
"Nope. That was a flock of Canadian geese flying over the house."
"Mom, you're running on dinosaur time."
"Why is your stomach so squishy?"
"Oh, that's my human inner tube. It's filled with beer."
"The dog's diaper slipped off. We have a PENIS ALERT!"
"Get smashed, do something stupid and make memories. Just don't get arrested while you're at it.""Have I told you lately how much I love you?"
"No, but a martini and a foot long sub would sure prove it!"
WELCOME TO THE INSANITY THAT I CALL HOME!
You can check out the other bloggers participating in the FLY at:
Somewhere along the family tree we must be kin 'cause there's a whole lotta fart and poop talk goin' on in my house too!!! BTW- the answers to my challenge questions are posted today.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right---we're cousins as a result of other cousins marrying when they really should have searched outside of the gene pool! Headed over now to read your post!!!
DeleteWe would fit in so well at your house. I love your honesty. My favorite? The martini and the footlong sub comment. I know, that's shocking!!! Love you girl. Happy Friday :)
ReplyDeleteI'd be chowing down right next to you! Love you too! <3
DeleteI'm just laughing looking at all the photos!!
ReplyDeleteGot plenty more where those came from---I just couldn't for them all on the page!
Delete""Who wrote 'Lazy Ass' in pen across all of my Breathe Right Nose Strips?" Best idea EVER! Adopt me?
ReplyDeleteGot a houseful of pranksters here...which I guess is better than gangsters, right?
DeleteYour family is not only hysterical, but judging by the pictures they're good sports too. Maybe instead of being a Fly on the Wall I should be a guest on the couch!
ReplyDeleteHaha yes, I think you'd feel right at home!
DeleteWhile your family actively participates in your blogs, I am often promised imprisonment if I so much as mention a name. Recently I was banned from talking about one of my grandsons, so now I'll have to make up a name for him as I did another one of my friends or relatives (not allowed to say), but if you look up Beebeeshababa, you'll find that all blogs point to me and I have safely disguised this person so that nobody will ever know who she/he is. You'd have to actually BE a fly on my wall to see the secrets I can't share. In your blogs you allow us to enter your home through the front door. So thank your family for me. Enjoyable blog (as usual).
ReplyDeleteYou are ALWAYS welcome through my front door for a bit of insanity. Maybe we could swap houses for a day???
DeleteThe lazy ass on the breath right nose strips is genius! That is hysterical!!
ReplyDelete¤´¨)
¸.•*´
(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
www.raising-reagan.com
My kids definitely get their weird sense of humor from their father---but pranks happen to be my specialty....
DeleteNow that was an entertaining read lol My family is obsessed with bowel movements and farts too, when did you go? how big was it? Did your butt bleed? etc etc what is it with families and pooping?
ReplyDeleteI came by via the blgo hop and started following you on GFC, hope you can check out my blog and you never know you might like it and follow back, i hope so :)
Angelax
http://british-bargains-and-beauty.blogspot.co.uk/
Good to know I'm not the only one living with a poop-obsessed family! Thanks for the follow--I'll be sure to check out your site!
DeleteLOL!! Fun post!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it because I was laughing the whole time I was writing it....and thinking that my family would probably disown me afterwards!
DeleteHi Marcia. Had a good laugh as always. Well done again for getting into the top 25!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have gotten up there if it hadn't been for all your support! Thank you again, Lanthie, for always being there for me!! <3
DeleteROFLOL!! LOVED THIS! The pictures are AWESOME!!!
ReplyDeleteMy family seems to be a bit poop obsessed as well. SIGH... Especially at the dinner table.
Nothing like a good poop conversation around the dinner table when you're getting ready to cut into your meatloaf!
Delete'I think I have an entire pig stuck in my molar'! HAHAHA! Awesome. Loved this, truly funny! And the pics were great, looks like you have a very happy family :)
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, we're fun--when they let us out of the mental ward once a month...
Deletemenopausal mama... you are a hoot... I had belly laughs. Something that is good to have from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI was in the hospital for 13 days but I am home now... healing, relaxing and doing a lot of sleeping.. unfortunately is about 3 hour intervals. But I am home, yeah.
Also, I am thrilled to see you have the badge for top 25 blog... congratulations :)
Thank you! Yes, I was thrilled to make the top 25 thanks to wonderful followers like you. Glad to hear you are back home!
DeleteHey MM!!! I love it. The family pics are awesome! You guys always look like your having so much fun and enjoying each other. But are you sure that fly wasn't hangin' around on our walls??? Some of these statements sound VERY familiar.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know I'm not the only one around here who deals with potty humor on a daily basis!
DeleteI'm going to need a Tena Lady after reading this. My pelvic floor muscles almost collapsed upon themselves, after laughing so hard. :)
ReplyDeleteHAHA that's so awesome! Now I'm the one who needs an adult diaper!
DeleteAre you *entirely* certain you grew up in Pompano Beach? You sure it wasn't Orlando? Because you make your family sound a LOT like my family! We're gross too...obsessed with poop...we have family stories about vomit that get dragged out over the dinner table EVERY FREAKIN' HOLIDAY and we laugh like we're hearing them for the *very first time*...
ReplyDeleteYES!!! Even though we've heard the stories a dozen times, someone always brings up the most embarrassing stuff and everybody laughs as if hearing it the first time---I guess because it's THAT funny!
DeleteWhat a fun lovin family you have there!!!
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment here!
DeleteHi I am a new follower to your lovely blog (Via GFC)and it really feel pleasure meeting new awesome bloggers like you, found you through Social Mix Blog Hop.
ReplyDeletemy blog: www.wilsontom.blogspot.com
Glad to have you here, Wilson. Thanks for the follow!
DeleteWhat a good laugh as ever. Your photos have led me to ask the following questions Menopausal Mama:
ReplyDelete1.Do you have any neighbours?
2. If you do, then what was the longest time they stayed living next door to you and your family?
3. How many times did the men in white coats try to entice all of you into their neat little vans whilst holding a syringe?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I just couldn't resist, you seem to bring that side out in me :)
Congratulations on getting to be one of the top 25 Funny Moms blog - 2013. I voted each day for you and knew you would do it. Well done Lady.
DeleteHahaha that's funny, RPD! Oddly enough, we HAVE gone through our share of neighbors! Thank you so much for all the votes--your support was awesome and I appreciate all that you did for me! I wouldn't have made it without your help and for that I am truly grateful!
DeleteYou look gorgeous in the cat costume! Everyone else looks...well, looks insane. Gorgeous and insane is an excellent combination!! CONGRATS ON THE AWARD! It looks awesome on your blog and on the site!! YAY!
ReplyDeleteAwww thanks, Rachel!! Yeah, we really are all insane over here---and I think we wear it well!
DeleteI want my family and your family to be next door neighbors. You guys sound like my family. One problem, there may be too much farting and laughing going on for one street and the cops would be called regularly.
ReplyDeleteOh, but think of all the fun we would have!!!
DeleteI'm so glad I can leave a comment now! I don't know what happened a couple of weeks ago when I stopped by, but I couldn't leave a comment. You got in touch with me on my blog, and I wanted to write back and tell you that we used to be followers of each other back when I had my old blog. I had to start over anonymously when I went back to work, and it was kind of sudden, so I didn't save any of my old contacts. I was looking for you when I started my new blog, and then I found you on Circle of Moms. So excited to be back blogging and following my favorite people. And congrats on Circle of Moms!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you came back! I've been reading your blog!
DeleteOh, and you had asked about following the new blog. I think you have to go into your settings on your dashboard and put my site in, because I don't have a "follow" button on my blog. Or you can hop over and subscribe--I do have a spot set up for that. www.trashyblog.com. (Don't want to be spammy; leaving the link b/c you had asked about it earlier. :))
ReplyDeleteI will definitely subscribe to your site!
DeleteHi! I'm glad you were able to link up with my party...I think that sometimes those linky tools randomly give people trouble. Happens to me sometimes on other blogs when everyone else seems to do ok.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely weekend!
Thanks for stopping by and letting me know about the hop!
DeleteHaha Marcia! Your family are fab!!! Was all that caught in the space of a week? You could make this a special feature, instead of tweets of the month it could be awesome crazy stuff my family said this month;)
ReplyDeleteThe conversations are from this past month but the pictures are old and new!
DeleteWell... ya just gotta love it when there is "never a dull moment" in the house. Seems like a "cool' family. Ha!!!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed. Take care, Slu
We know how to have fun!
DeleteWhat a bunch of comedians! ;-) LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteYou'd fit right in! So...when ya coming over???
DeleteHysterical! I look forward to more!
ReplyDeleteI'm your newest follower from the Sunday social.
Sandy
www.savardstudios.blogspot.com
Thanks for the follow, Sandy! I'll be checking out your blog as well!
DeleteLooks like a fun bunch! Came by from the social hop and I'm happy to be following along on GFC. Come by and say Hi sometime!
ReplyDeleteNice to have you here, Sherry. I love new readers! And thanks also for the follow!
DeleteOK your family ROCks balls I love it...... I needed it this morning. Love your blog.....So happy I found you
ReplyDeleteGlad I could bring a smile to your day--and btw I LOVE YOUR BLOG, TOO!
DeleteAm so glad I found your blog today - think I need a bit of this in my life right now! X
ReplyDeleteWe all need a little crazy in our life sometimes! Hope it brought a grin to your day!
DeleteHope you like the insanity I call my blog home and I hope you'll be back for more.
ReplyDeleteI'd be happy to check out your blog!
ReplyDeleteVery nice Blog <3 Wanna follow each other?I follow you now :)
ReplyDeletexoxo,Gina
www.lifestyleshoppentesten.blogspot.com
Thanks for the follow--I'd be happy to check out your blog site!
DeleteThanks for the follow--sure, I'll check out your Fb page.
ReplyDeleteLMAO, you sound like my kind of people. We are pretty obsessed with farts and poop at my house too. Farts are friends after all. LOL
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Hahaha "farts are friends after all". You crack me up, Kathy!
Deletelovely photos
ReplyDeleteFrom Bad Day
We had fun making them!
DeleteAll I can say is, Thank God I'm not the only one who talks too much about her digestive system and poop! This was too funny...I think my husband wishes he could ship me off to another family who talks about poop as much as I do! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt can't be helped when you have kids--especially little ones---you constantly have to monitor that stuff to make sure everything is functioning properly! But in our family we STILL talk a lot about poop even though there is no one around here in diapers!!!
DeleteI love your blog! Newest follower -- found you from the Fun Friday blog hop and I'm following you on GFC.
ReplyDeleteWould you like to follow me back?
Monica Platz
http://monicasrrr.blogspot.com
Thanks Monica but I was unable to find your name there--perhaps it didn't go through?
DeleteLOL funny photos. Looked like you really had fun.
ReplyDeleteThat we did!
DeleteI started followed you after reading some of your posts and voting for you on Circle of Moms Top 25 contest. Can I tell you that having you follow me back is like having a celebrity follow me?? My sister and I crack up at your entries! Congratulations on COM - and thank you for making me feel special ;)
ReplyDeleteYou just made my day. I think I love you now!!! <3 <3 <3
DeleteGoοd information. Lucky me I found уouг website by chance (stumblеupon).
ReplyDeleteІ have book marked it for later!
Feel free to suгf tο my weblog - mega
LOL! I am a new follower from the weekend social mix blog hop. I love the sayings and the pictures are hilarious. Your family looks so fun.
ReplyDeleteJustina @ http://justinawho.blogspot.com/
We are a fun bunch! Thanks for coming by and for following my blog!
Delete