Friday, July 5, 2013

Devil Juice

Meno Mama is on vacation this week enjoying time with her family for the holiday. For those of you recovering from a holiday hangover, I thought you might enjoy a little blog post that I wrote a long time ago, when I had only 23 followers if I was lucky....and half of those were family members. This is one of my favorites from back in the day---hope you enjoy it!






     Devil juice can be defined as: "Juice made from a winery in hell, designed to create multiple personalities in those who imbibe by introducing their alter egos to the general public."
     My husband is an avid beer drinker, but once he switches over to the dark side of wine, he becomes a different person.  Just like a woman with raging hormones in the throes of menopause, his mood can change drastically.  I never know which alter ego of his I will be dealing with---McBastard, Cuddle Bear, Sleepy from the Seven Dwarfs or a Teletubbie.  These personalities don't kick in until he has uncorked his second bottle of red wine.  He could paint the house, wax the car or install new plumbing and not remember a thing in the morning.  Sometimes he morphs into Jimmy Hendrix and plays air guitar to Purple Haze, while other nights he dons a cat mask and dances to the Meow Mix theme.  I don't worry too much about his alter egos as long as he's not scratching in a litter box, marking his territory or trying to lick my ankles.
     My husband claims that devil juice alters my personality as well.  He says that I change from lamb to lion to human gummy bear after a few glasses of vino, which has convinced me to buy cheaper wine and dilute it with ice water.  Gross, I know, but we can't have two comatose adults in the back yard.
      Years ago we owned a gift basket shop and were fortunate enough to come across case loads of good quality champagne at a discount price from a local wine dealer.  Most of the bottles ended up in our kitchen cabinets instead of in the baskets they were intended for.  A close friend of ours who bought several cases called it forget-me-not champagne because she woke each morning after drinking it not remembering what she did the night before.
     We have plenty of wine that could sport the same forget-me-not label.  Wine comas rob you of chunks of time you can never get back, until one day you find yourself crawling around on all fours in a video on YouTube.
     After enough glasses of devil juice, my husband is convinced he's the next Iron Chef.  He fixes weird sandwiches like bologna with garlic croutons or peanut butter, jelly and roasted turkey, then tries to get everyone else to eat his creations.  Guy Fieri he is not.  Vino turns me into Paula Dean---I want to slather butter on everything.  Some of my tastiest concoctions were created after a few glasses of devil juice---problem is I consumed major calories and I don't remember what I ate, only that it was more difficult to zip up my jeans the next day.
     You would think two middle age adults would not want to lose track of precious time by blurring their weekends with devil juice.  There's just something not right about a man in a cat mask drinking wine.  Next weekend he's changing his own litter box.
      What can I say?
      The devil made him do it!

38 comments:

  1. You have just confirmed that I'm goin' straight to hell 'cause I love me that devil's juice!

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  2. Haha oh yeah! Happens to my husband too haha.

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  3. Love me some devil juice lol - hope you have a wonderful vacay - with lots of it!!!
    XOXO

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    1. Having a great vacay and yes, LOTS of Devil Juice!

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  4. Well, I call Devil Juice 'moonshine'. It's made from the heart and has all sorts of concoctions that will make you do things you never knew existed, ha ha ha ( I've heard the stories but never tried it myself). Wow, you have come a mighty long way from 23 followers to well over 1,700 and counting, and I'm not surprised. Who can stay away from you once they start to read your posts? It's like a blog addiction to MM.

    Now, my advice is to stay off the moonshine because as you age gracefully, the body can't handle the stuff well and the reactions, not to mention recovery time will be far worse than before.

    Hope you are having a wonderful time with the family.

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    1. You are so right, RPD---the recovery time is 3X longer at my age!!!!!

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  5. I never got a taste for the devil juice... but I did like drinking other alcohol...

    If your husband started scratching around a litter box... show him out to the porch :)

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    1. I could always leave him outside on nights like that....

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  6. Hahaha!!! Oh, this had me laughing. Enjoy your little break!

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    1. Glad you liked it! And yes--we are having a terrific vacation!!!

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  7. Very funny! My husband and I solve the problems of the world, decide to write a childrens' book, make a movie, come up with the plot of the Great Australian Novel, decide to run for politics and all sorts of things after a few vinos. We've usually forgotten everything by the next morning.

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    1. Isn't that the truth! My Hubs and I come up with all these great ideas for making money and we are all set to do it....until we wake up the next morning and I look at the plans we wrote down....then we're like, "HUH???"

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  8. Hurrah for vacations!! I hope you're having a fabulous vacation, wine or no wine. :)

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    1. A FABULOUS vacation indeed---but it ended all too fast!

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  9. This is your funniest post to date. Thanks for sharing. Ya need to add some pictures.

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    1. This is actually an old re-post---I think at one time I did have more photos with it.

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  10. Any devil juice on vacation? I want to come party with you, Marcia!

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    1. I think we had a little TOO much devil juice on vacation.....and you are welcome to come party with me ANY TIME!!!!!

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  11. Bring on the devil juice! (The devil made me juice it?) I hope you're having a fantabulous vacation Marcia!

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    1. I had a great time, Linda, thanks! It was one of the best vacations, ever--devil juice and all!

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  12. lovely post..
    I also would like to personally invite you to join my GIVEAWAY!!! :)
    It will take a minute..
    Please join my giveaway :
    http://fashionwithfitness.blogspot.com/2013/07/giveaway-win-free-clothes-from-persun.html

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    1. Thanks for the invite, Irfan! I'll hop over in a bit and check it out!

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  13. I hope you had a great vacation! And I remember the good times of my 21st and white zinfandel...definitely devil's juice, haha!

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    1. Yeah, you gotta watch out with that stuff!

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  14. When you see the cat mask, he's going to end up in the dog house. ;)

    Glad you had a great vacation. Welcome home!

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    1. Hahaha I love that!!! Thanks for stopping by!

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  15. LOL now I'm thankful I don't drink wine! :)

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  16. I think the *real* reason you call it devil juice is because it packs on the pounds. I'm sorry, there's just nothing wrong with a grown man wearing a cat mask and dancing to the Meow Mix commercial. But he'd be even funnier if he did the Purina Cat Chow cha-cha from the '70s :)

    As for YOU, Ma'am, I expect we'll split a bottle of devil juice some day when I come to visit you! or rum cake. Pick your poison. :)

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  17. I WISH I could black out. I remember every stupid thing I've ever said or done while on the devil juice. Sigh......

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    1. I hate the morning after, hungover and THEN remembering what happened...makes me want to hide under the covers all day...

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  18. I don't remember this post! I was sure I read almost everything you ever wrote! My "devil juice" is tequila. Mark says I morph into the literal devil. So of course, I still drink it! Haha. It's no surprise you have so many more followers than the "23" when you first wrote this. I'm so glad to have found you and your very fun blog.

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    1. I am so glad I found you too, Michele. You have been a dear bloggy friend to me and I love reading all of your posts as well. I love you bunches! XO

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  19. I only drink the juice once every 3 or 4 weeks or so. I hope you are enjoying your vacation at a winery in Michigan or California.

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