Kids will spill tomato sauce on the white carpet and blame it on the dog; they'll steal all the quarters out of the change jar and blame the younger sibling. They'll use the last clean towel in the house so that you're forced to dry yourself off after a shower with the wet towel that you used on the dog bathed earlier that day.
Every parent reaches a breaking point with their children---a time when they need to liberate themselves from the bonds of "politically correct" parenting.
Because sometimes you just have to get even. You can call it one of "life's little lessons", or refer to it for what it really is: Karma is a bitch.
The following is a payback list that has been especially effective in annoying our teenagers and will most likely be successful with yours:
1) Crank up the lawn mower outside their bedroom window when they're trying to sleep in late on a Saturday morning.
2) Ask twenty questions about the TV show they're watching, but wait until they're immersed in the thickest part of the plot.
3) During one of their house parties, run into the room with a wet plunger dripping in your hand and shout, "Okay, who clogged the toilet???"
4) Pick up the six, wet towels they left on the bathroom floor and deposit them on their unmade bed. Be sure to tuck the towels under the covers so they stay moist.
5) Allow your youngest child to bang on his new drum set while his older sibling is trying to take a nap.
6) Turn on the sprinklers while your daughter is sunbathing in the back yard.
7) At a neighborhood block party, jump up on a table after a couple of beers and play air guitar to a Bon Jovi song.
8) Call your son's friends "Dude" and "Bro".
9) Write embarrassing messages on their Facebook wall: "Did you eat that WHOLE package of Oreos I hid in the pantry?" "Why is all my underwear missing from the dryer?"
10) Blast Barry Manilow on the car radio while driving your kids and their friends to school. Make sure all the windows are rolled down so that EVERYONE in the car loop can hear you belt out the lyrics to "Mandy".
11) At your son's sixteenth birthday party, borrow his best friend's BMX bike and show those young whippersnappers how to fly over a speed bump and rack yourself on the bicycle seat.
12) Write a blog about your family life and highlight all the personal stuff that will make your kids cringe and want to disown you.
Revenge has never been sweeter!