My prompt, "Write a list of things you are NOT going to do today and why"--- was submitted by http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com
WHAT I'M NOT GOING TO DO TODAY....AND WHY:
* I'm not going to shave my husband's back because if I do, I'm going to get creative and trim it into an FSU logo.
* I'm not going to eat the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle. Last time that happened, I hallucinated I was dancing with the Care Bears.
* I'm not going to allow my husband to wear my Spanx at the next holiday party because that's just wrong on so many levels.
* I'm not going to unpack my long johns with the butt flap because nobody in Florida wears that stuff.
* I'm not going to ride the Goodyear Blimp today---I don't want a repeat of the Hindenberg incident.
* I'm not going to wear a bra today because baby those puppies were born to be free!
* I'm not going to flush down somebody else's anaconda size mess in the toilet---get a damn plunger and do it yourself.
* I'm not going to ride a donkey today. I might make an ass of myself.
* I'm not going to wear my husband's Depend Undergarments because they have a big pouch in the front.
* I'm not going to get drunk tonight because the last time I did, I ended up crawling on all fours in search of the rabbit hole from Alice In Wonderland.
* I'm not going to try on my skinny jeans today...or any other day. I ate french fries last night....
* I'm not going to strap on a mask and cook liver and onions for my husband (even though he loves it)
because it always makes me feel like I'm on the set of Silence Of The Lambs.
What AM I going to do today after cooking/dishes/laundry/exercising/facebooking/house cleaning/ and sneaking chocolate?
* Feed a baby panda at the zoo.
* Pour myself a glass of pinot grigio.
* Cuddle my chinchillas.
* Make sure I have enough toilet paper for the week.
* Play tug-of-war with my pug.
* Kick off my high heels and dance to my own tune---the Hokey Pokey!
......and then take a long nap.....