Friday, December 14, 2012

The Secret Subject Swap

     Today I am participating in a fun little blogging project known as Secret Subject Swap, which is the brainchild of blogger Karen @ www.bakinginatornado.com. She has started something special here that motivates other bloggers to get creative by working off a prompt that has been secretly assigned to them by another blogger. Fifteen brave bloggers are participating today, simultaneously revealing their prompts and writing a blog post based on their interpretation of the topic chosen for them. Here are the links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject
Swap:




     My prompt, "Write a list of things you are NOT going to do today and why"--- was submitted by http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com

WHAT I'M NOT GOING TO DO TODAY....AND WHY:

 * I'm not going to shave my husband's back because if I do, I'm going to get creative and trim it into an FSU logo.

* I'm not going to eat the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle. Last time that happened, I hallucinated I was dancing with the Care Bears.

* I'm not going to allow my husband to wear my Spanx at the next holiday party because that's just wrong on so many levels.

* I'm not going to unpack my long johns with the butt flap because nobody in Florida wears that stuff.

* I'm not going to ride the Goodyear Blimp today---I don't want a repeat of the Hindenberg incident.

* I'm not going to wear a bra today because baby those puppies were born to be free!

* I'm not going to flush down somebody else's anaconda size mess in the toilet---get a damn plunger and do it yourself.

* I'm not going to ride a donkey today. I might make an ass of myself.

* I'm not going to wear my husband's Depend Undergarments because they have a big pouch in the front.

* I'm not going to get drunk tonight because the last time I did, I ended up crawling on all fours in search of the rabbit hole from Alice In Wonderland.

* I'm not going to try on my skinny jeans today...or any other day. I ate french fries last night....

* I'm not going to strap on a mask and cook liver and onions for my husband (even though he loves it)
 because it always makes me feel like I'm on the set of Silence Of The Lambs.


What AM I going to do today after cooking/dishes/laundry/exercising/facebooking/house cleaning/ and sneaking chocolate?

* Feed a baby panda at the zoo.

* Pour myself a glass of pinot grigio.

* Cuddle my chinchillas.

* Make sure I have enough toilet paper for the week.

* Play tug-of-war with my pug.

* Kick off my high heels and dance to my own tune---the Hokey Pokey!


......and then take a long nap.....


Posted by at

72 comments:

  1. UnknownDecember 14, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    Awesome across the board! I am dying laughing at several things you are not going to do - and envious of many of the things you ARE going to do. Especially the nap...
    Tracy @ Momaical

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousDecember 14, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    my stomach hurts from laughing so hard... between the spanx and the bra... OMG... so great.

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 10:44 AM

      Thanks! I am so happy to see you here and am on my way over to check out your prompt!!

      Delete
  3. Stacy Sews and SchoolsDecember 14, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    ROFLOL!!!! LOVE it!!! Thanks for the laughs!!

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 10:44 AM

      Thank you for coming up with an awesome prompt for me to work with!

      Delete
  4. Gossip_GrlDecember 14, 2012 at 10:39 AM

    OMgosh Love It! Hilarious and I am with you on many on your list! I am still cracking up laughing over the mention of spanx. Thanks for the laughs and tears running down my legs! You rock!

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  5. My Daily Jenn-ismDecember 14, 2012 at 10:51 AM

    That's an awesome list of to do and not to do.... :)

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    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 11:02 AM

      Thanks for stopping by, Jenn--always love to see you here! Yes, I think today is already shaping up nicely. Count down until nap time.....

      Delete
  6. UnknownDecember 14, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    I am jealous of your nap! Will you be napping with the pug?

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 11:11 AM

      I want to and I try but my baby is a BIG snorer!!! Yeah, despite all that we still cuddle A LOT!

      Delete
    2. UnknownDecember 14, 2012 at 11:19 AM

      I <3 pugs. They do snore a lot. And snort.

      Delete
    3. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 11:26 AM

      And they fart a lot, too!!!

      Delete
  7. Karen @BakingInATornadoDecember 14, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    You were born for this subject swap. Good thing you thought to check out how much toilet paper you have or you'd end up in those adult diapers with the pouch in the front after all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 1:00 PM

      Great place to store the toilet paper if I did have to wear them! Thanks again for creating the Secret Subject Swap--count me in for the next one!

      Delete
  8. HeY JDecember 14, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    This was A W E S O M E!!! what a clever lil blog hop I like it and your answers were so great. Enjoy the wine. ^,^ ~Janice~

    ReplyDelete
  9. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 1:01 PM

    Thanks for coming over to check it out!

    ReplyDelete
  10. JessicaDecember 14, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    Following you as MomofTwo from Save Green Being Green

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownDecember 14, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    Seems like you have your priorities straight! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rum-Punch DrunkDecember 14, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Why don't you just do all things you don't want to do and be freeeeeeeee? You gave me such a big laugh tonight. I hold up my Pinot to you once again, cheers :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 4:07 PM

      And cheers to you too, RPD! Always a pleasure to have you visit! <3

      Delete
  13. Jon WhitingDecember 14, 2012 at 6:02 PM

    Keep dancing to that tune MM... It suits you well. This one got me. I burst out laughing at more than a few of the things on your list. And a laugh is just what we need today. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 6:31 PM

      If I can bring a smile to you on a day of such sad tragedy, then I have done my job. Thank you, Jon, for making me feel better, too, with your kind words.

      Delete
  14. UnknownDecember 14, 2012 at 8:31 PM

    hey yo: NO SPANX!!! ha... love it. take care, slu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 8:39 PM

      I'll bet you wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of Spanx, right? Talk to my husband!!

      Delete
  15. Sandra TylerDecember 14, 2012 at 9:12 PM

    lol. I would do some of the don'ts and all of the dos.

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 9:26 PM

      So why don't we go visit the pandas together and share a glass or two of pinot grigio?

      Delete
  16. UnknownDecember 14, 2012 at 9:41 PM

    Next time instead of hokey pokey, try the gangnam style...;)

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 9:58 PM

      OMG I originally wrote that but then changed my mind when I heard on the news the other day that he was anti-American! So funny that you thought the same way I did...wow, like minds, Cecille.....

      Delete
  17. Michele MarriottDecember 14, 2012 at 9:57 PM

    You know I love you, right? As always, your post was hilarious and frighteningly relatable. No bra? No man-SPANX? No toilet flushing? Thank God there are others out there who are making sure they have enough toilet paper, Pinot, and time to nap. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 10:00 PM

      I wish I wasn't so paranoid to fly because I would give anything to meet you one day! You are truly a beautiful and funny lady! One of these days we're going to share a bottle of Pinot and stories....

      Delete
  18. PanchaliDecember 14, 2012 at 11:29 PM

    Hahha...You are incorrigible, MM !! Lubbbbedddd reading this---delicious!

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 14, 2012 at 11:48 PM

      I'm so happy to see you back here--your comments always bring a smile to my face!

      Delete
  19. Gorilla BananasDecember 15, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    Would you let your husband wear your undergarments if he wanted to? Just curious...

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  20. Lisa NolanDecember 15, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    Disturbing on so many levels! Love, love, love it! Pinning it here: http://pinterest.com/lnmontessori/parenting-humor/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 15, 2012 at 5:04 PM

      Awww thanks, Lisa! I'm honored that you liked it that much!

      Delete
  21. eli@coachdaddyDecember 15, 2012 at 11:19 PM

    The braless look with the butt-flap open on the long johns?

    Sexy. Especially in Florida.

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  22. UnknownDecember 15, 2012 at 11:32 PM

    This was brilliant - an awesome post!

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 16, 2012 at 2:24 AM

      So glad you liked it--I had a blast participating in the swap.

      Delete
  23. Theresa WizaDecember 16, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    That was a tough assignment. I generally write myself a list of things I HAVE to do today (suddenly I find myself in a loop of saying over and over todotoday todotoday todotoday – fun word combination) – but never would I think to write a list of things not to do today – todotoday todotoday – but you did a great job! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 16, 2012 at 8:57 AM

      Thanks, Theresa! I'm with you on that--My "to do" list is always a mile long. What I really should blog about is the list if things I WANT to do but never have time to do!!!!

      Delete
  24. UnknownDecember 16, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    Haha! Fun post! Does point number three imply that you once did let your hubs wear Spanx in the past...? We've got to see a picture of that.. after the caveman post I'm sure he's game for it;) My answer would have included 'I'm not going to shower or floss or brush my hair....' you get the idea!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 16, 2012 at 9:37 AM

      And stay in my bathrobe all day, avoiding phone calls and visitors! You are right though--it would be funny to do a post with the hubs in a pair of Spanx!

      Delete
  25. Nicole ChardenetDecember 16, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    Hysterical! One of your best blog posts yet since I've started following your blog, Marcia! You were ON FIRE when you wrote this one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 16, 2012 at 11:51 PM

      Really??? Seriously--I was just messing around---you really liked it that much?? Awesome! I need to stick to this style of thinking, then...

      Delete
  26. Scary CarrieDecember 16, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    Awesome, I like the sarcasm. I found you on the blog hop.

    http://thetravelin-gineer.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 16, 2012 at 11:52 PM

      Glad you enjoyed it and glad you found me on the hop!!! Hopefully you'll come back for more???

      Delete
  27. Diana ChastainDecember 16, 2012 at 9:03 PM

    Hilarious!

    Thanks for hopping by and linking up at Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop. we hope to see you again this week. ;)

    http://mrsdchastain.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 16, 2012 at 11:52 PM

      I will ALWAYS come back----- I LOVE your blog hop!!!!

      Delete
  28. Susan Flett SwiderskiDecember 17, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    What a fun post! I wandered over here from Gossip Girl's blog, and I'm glad I did. Even though I'm finished playing menopause, I'm gonna have to sign on as one of your groupies, anyway. You know, to see what I did wrong. Kinda like my hubby checking the instructions after he puts something together. Nice to meetcha.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. menopausal mamaDecember 17, 2012 at 9:37 PM

      Hi Susan! I'm so happy you came by to introduce yourself!! I love Gossip Grl's blog and was THRILLED to be a guest there! Now I'm going to hop over and check out your site next!

      Delete
  29. Madame KekeDecember 17, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    I came to personally invite you to come join our "Pinterest Christmas Hop" to gain more followers on Pinterest. Just click the link and enter your infos to link up and show up on the list :-) The more people join the merrier :-)

    Pinterest Christmas Hop Link: http://bit.ly/Ycrm6X

    kisses Keke

    http://madamekeke.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 17, 2012 at 9:43 PM

      Thanks--I will check it out. But I'll warn you---I'm still trying to figure out how to use Pinterest!

      Delete
  30. UnknownDecember 17, 2012 at 6:37 PM

    Sorry, tried to pay proper attention to the rest of your list seriously, but got on the "hallucinating that you were dancing with Care Bears". I am dying! Hysterical :)

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 17, 2012 at 9:44 PM

      I have NO clue why that came into my head but it did....and it was a VERY long time ago.....

      Delete
  31. AnonymousDecember 17, 2012 at 11:47 PM

    Were you doing the hokey pokey with the Care Bears? Because that is what it's all about, you know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 17, 2012 at 11:53 PM

      Can I just say I love you because you are SO FUNNY???? Your comments here make my day and ALWAYS make me laugh out loud. Thank you again for cracking me up tonight!

      Delete
  32. Launna December 18, 2012 at 8:33 PM

    I loved this, so many parts of your post just made me laugh hysterically... I always enjoy seeing you have posted :)

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  33. UnknownDecember 19, 2012 at 12:28 AM

    You made me lol - no easy feat this week!!!
    You da bomb!
    Hugs,
    Suzan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2012 at 9:23 AM

      Awww thanks, Suzan. You know I'm here for you whenever you want to laugh, cry, or share some wine! <3

      Delete
  34. mail4roseyDecember 19, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    Stopping in to say hello. I think you should do the FSU shave. Go Seminoles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2012 at 1:44 PM

      I think you are right--as long as it's not a Gators logo I'll be happy! Lol!

      Delete
  35. TiranaAdukaDecember 24, 2012 at 7:46 AM

    sorry long time not visit you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. JleeJanuary 11, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    What a FUN game! I love what you put together!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaJanuary 14, 2013 at 11:51 AM

      You should link up with the Swap--we really do have a great time with it!

      Delete

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