"I've had so much coffee on this road trip, I could hang a Starbuck's sign on my bladder.""Stop feeding the pug banana bread! It may smell good going in but it smells really bad coming out."
"Don't make me laugh so hard in the car---I have to pee!"
"Next time remind me to get plastic seat covers..."
"Too bad it rained, because I was really looking forward to zip lining over an alligator pit."
"Why are we the only people in the hotel gym with Solo cups full of champagne?""Because the lounge was closed. This way we can drink and burn off the calories at the same time. Oh
look! There's champagne cup holders on every treadmill!"
"Did you just fart in the pool?"
"Um...no...why?"
"Because your swim trunks are billowing out like a flotation device.""Oh great...take the guy with no cartilage in his knees on a rocky, ten mile hike through the woods...yeah, that's my idea of a fun, family
bonding moment."
"What on earth took you so long at the gas station?"
"We were comparing penises in the restroom."
"We've had so much to drink since we've been on vacation, my liver is crying out for an AA meeting.""Stop dropping gas bombs in the car. You smell like processed ass."
"You're the one who bought me the fried chicken tenders, Dad. They upset my stomach."
"Chicken tenders? More like chicken stinkers out the butt."
"Nothing like driving a car with a transmission that bucks you out of your seat.""We took a wrong turn on that last trail. I think we're lost. We could be in China for all I know."
"I think we've just entered another dimension, known as the Twilight Zone."
"Or we're starring in a new movie---Paranormal: The Woods Edition"
"I told you we should have left a trail of breadcrumbs..."
"Hon, you've eaten so much on this trip, I think we need to stop at Walmart and get you some men's maternity pants."
"Stop making booger patches on your side of the car!""Why aren't you going inside the caves with us?"
"Because I'm probably older than most of those stalagmites. And I'm claustrophobic. I might have a heart attack. Paramedics don't respond to cave calls."
"I don't understand what caused you to be so claustrophobic."
"I got trapped inside a mole hole as a child."
"Stop using the gingerbread cookie air freshener in the bathroom to mask your poops. Next year when I smell Christmas cookies baking in the oven, I'll think of poop."
"I know its been raining a lot, but it'll pass.""Yeah, about as quickly as a gallstone."
"It's about time you got into a pool after 15 years. This is a HUGE event...sort of like man's first visit to the moon.... one small step for Marcia,
one giant leap into the pool."
"Why did you guys sprint ahead at the park and leave me behind in an open field with lightning, rain, 50 mile per hour winds and a funnel cloud above? You knew I couldn't run the mile back to the car with my bad knees."
"It's not our fault you're the injured buffalo in the herd."
"That means you'd leave me behind to be eaten by the wolves?"
"We didn't want to get hit by lightning or sucked up in a tornado. You were moving too slow for us!"
"I was busy clicking my heels, trying to get back to Kansas."
And this, folks, is how we vacation Doyle style. I'm off now to swat a fly and fill my Solo cup with champagne. Be sure to visit the other bloggers in today's challenge!
http://BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/ Just a Little Nutty
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home . . .
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/ Moore Organized Mayhem
http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/ The Insomniac’s Dream
http://themomisodes.com/ The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://www.therowdybaker.com The Rowdy Baker
http://sorrykidblog.com/ Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others
What is it about men and farting?! And I swear the dogs are just as bad! Our car could run on all this extra gas!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Men and dogs--about as stinky as you can get!!!!
DeletePlease, please take me on your next vacation!
ReplyDelete-The Insomniacs Dream
If you promise to bring a bottle of tequila and an air freshener!
DeleteThanks for the laugh this morning!
ReplyDeleteGlad I could bring a giggle to your day ! :-)
DeleteI'm so surprised that nobody in your family has come up with an invention to turn fossil fuels from your butts into gas for your car. Funny post, as always!
ReplyDeleteHey, I think you're onto something there, Theresa!!!
DeleteI love to just sit and listen to random conversations in my family. Great writing prompts!
ReplyDeleteIt's fun, isn't it? This way I have a record of it for my kids once I'm long gone. They can share it with the grandkids, too! If you ever want to join us on these prompts, let me know and I'll hook you up with Karen, the mastermind of this!
DeleteRemind me to never get into an enclosed space with your family. Never mind, I think I'll remember all by myself.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are hilarious.
If I buy you a pair of nose plugs will you join us?
DeleteOMGOSH!! ROFLOL!!! Nothing like having the smell of Christmas cookies ruined!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI have been scarred for life.....
DeleteI would love for you to be our vacation planner and leader- this sounds like too much fun (except the farting)-
ReplyDeleteit IS fun.....except for all the farting....
DeleteI laughed SO hard!
ReplyDeleteI can't decide my favorite part... the champagne workout, wounded buffalo in the field, pug bread. It is ALL so fantastic and memorable.
Sounds like you are the people on vacation having all the fun!
It really was fun--despite the smells....I haven't laughed as hard as I did on that trip in a long time!
DeleteHahahaha...I don't know how I could EVER pick out a favorite part of this post. What a crazy crew you have! Love it.
ReplyDeleteWe are a bunch of nut jobs over here but that's what keeps my life interesting...
DeleteYou need to document EVERY event you go on with your family. I loved this! I will never look at a cute gingerbread man air-freshener the same, but I will definitely try the champagne next time I'm on an elliptical. Thank you, thank you for the laughs. <3
ReplyDeleteI try to write everything down but when the family sees me doing it, they clam up...so I have to be sneaky about it! But they really are a fun bunch and they say the oddest things. never a dull moment over here. Glad I got you laughing! XO
DeleteThese are awesome!! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked them!
DeleteNiceeeee:))
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Epsita!
DeleteYou should have people pay you to take them on vacation. You know, like tour guides but better! HA HA!
ReplyDeleteWHAT is your husband drinking on the treadmill and how sauced is he?!!!
Thanks for the laughs, you never disappoint!
Yes!! I would make an EXCELLENT tour guide because everyone would get free jello shots and mini bottles of champagne. Then we could go down inside the caves and lick the water off the stalagmites. Too weird? OK then I'll just shut up and go back to my corner....
DeleteSounds like you had an awesome vacation - and some well deserved time with your boys.
ReplyDeleteXx
It really was awesome--I hated to see it end....
DeleteI'm not sure which I liked more the processed ass comment or the fact that you were drinking champagne and working out...This just makes me want to hang out with you even more
ReplyDeleteIf you ever come to Florida I'll be waiting here for you...with a red Solo cup full of champagne!
DeleteOMG... I laughed so hard at this post as usual... these two stood out and really made me laugh hard:
ReplyDelete"What on earth took you so long at the gas station?"
"We were comparing penises in the restroom."
"Why did you guys sprint ahead at the park and leave me behind in an open field with lightning, rain, 50 mile per hour winds and a funnel cloud above? You knew I couldn't run the mile back to the car with my bad knees."
"It's not our fault you're the injured buffalo in the herd."
"That means you'd leave me behind to be eaten by the wolves?"
"We didn't want to get hit by lightning or sucked up in a tornado. You were moving too slow for us!"
"I was busy clicking my heels, trying to get back to Kansas."
As always thanks so much for the laugh... girl you are talented in finding the hilarious in life... love it :)
Humor most definitely is what sustains me!
DeleteI knew that's what those treadmill cup holders were for!
ReplyDeleteThey certainly are!
DeleteSounds like a wonderful time. So great that you can all hang out and laugh like that. Thanks so much for sharing with all of us!
ReplyDeleteNext time Penny we're taking you with us!!
DeleteI can see that you all had a wonderful time. Next time you should do a 'live' holiday show so we can all enjoy the fun you had from our sitting room chairs.
ReplyDeleteMM, what on earth possessed the man with the checkered shorts to be hanging off those yellow handle bars, and when I zoomed in, I can see that someone else with flip-flops above on the counter? What were you all doing up there? It looks crazy.
Love the idea of burning off the calories whilst your having a good drink, ha ha ha.
The man with the checkered shorts is my husband haha! We are at a museum in this pic on an old train. My hubs is hanging from the bars while my son's girlfriend is leaning over from the top sleeper bunk. Yes, we SHOULD have a reality TV show. I bet it would be as popular as the Osbornes!
DeleteThe Osbornes wouldn't know what hit them. They would be making time to sit and watch what your family was doing, no joke :)
DeleteIf we got paid to do it, I'm all in!!
DeleteGood Stuff! Sounds like the Doyle's had a great vacation! Glad that fly was there to share it all with us.
ReplyDeleteThat fly is a nosey little bugger but he landed in my margarita so his perception might be a bit skewed....
DeleteToo, too much fun! I can't wait for the Christmas edition . . . Oh that gingerbread . . .
ReplyDeleteI don't think I can ever smell or eat gingerbread again without thinking of poop...for real.
DeleteMan...your vacation sounds better and more exciting than my whole life...I am so jealous.
ReplyDeleteWe're just a bunch of party animals over here....
DeleteYou are having so much fun..
ReplyDeletehttp://fashionwithfitness.blogspot.com
We always do when a vacation is involved!
DeleteLOL... Sounds like great fun (but for the farting). You guys are crazy. But that's what it's all about. Fun times with Family.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed, Slu
Yup! That's us--the crazy family and I wouldn't have it an other way!
Delete"Stop feeding the pug banana bread!" Ahaha! I love, love, love when you do these posts with your family! They are hilarious. As I'm sure all your blog followers will be coming with you on your next vacation, you can add one more to the list!
ReplyDeleteOh , we would have some dangerous fun with you along for the ride!!!
DeleteChampagne tastes SO much better out of red SOLO cups than blue! Clearly, this is a family that vacations with class!
ReplyDeleteThat's us!! One classy, champagne-chugging-in-a-Solo-cup family!
DeleteLol, a laugh a min with you guys!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it, Donna. I always have fun spying on my family and stealing snippets of their conversations!
Deletechampagne + treadmill?? genius idea! glad you and your family had a fun and safe trip! best memories to be made when you're all bunched up in a car ;) new follower via the bloglovin' bloghop :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the follow, Brianna. Yes, you should definitely try out the champagne on the treadmill--it brings exercise to a whole new level.
DeleteI love how close your solo cup of champagne was to you in the pool picture. NEVER let that champagne out of your sight--or grip!! :)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the fact that you noticed the Solo cup in that picture haha! Could it be beause you have done the same? Lol!
DeleteCoffee AND champagne! What could be better than a Doyle family vacation?? You look awesome in the pool. I notice Solo cups aren't only for the gym, eh? ;)
ReplyDeleteShhhh...!They are non breakable--better than a wine glass by the pool!
DeleteYou are too too funny!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteStill laughing :)
XOXO
Glad I could bring you some laughter today!
DeleteYou think car farts are bad? too bad you couldn't have been on the family vacation when my then-baby brother had a diarrhea attack in an Italian restaurant in Schroon Lake, New York...they STILL throw up the road barriers when they detect a Chardenet passing through!
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, we did NOT go back for lunch the next day as planned :)
OMG I cannot even IMAGINE that...no, never mind...I don't WANT to imagine that!!!!
DeleteParamedics don't respond to cave calls. Classic.
ReplyDeleteAnd with a house full of boys, there's no shortage of fart humour around here either :)
Thanks for the laugh!
¤´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•`¤... Jennifer
Jenn's Random Scraps
Glad I coud bring a giggle to your day!
DeleteI have only being able to read 3 of the posts and I am already hooked.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed I get to join in. Let's see if the banter of my colleagues is worthy of note, lol.
I love the gym and swimming pool excerpts. Truthfully, I am sure we all think of fart when we see someone's clothes billowing *grin*
Barbara
www.barbara1923.com
Lagos, Nigeria
Hi Barbara! So happy to have a newbie here! Yes, you should contact Karen if you want to join us on the Fly On The Wall series--she'd love to have you!
DeleteI Think it would be your nice vacations...thanks for consideration to us.
ReplyDelete