Friday, November 29, 2013

10 Reasons Why I Have A Love/Hate Relationship With Football

   

I love the fall season. The air is crisper, leaves turn gold, sweaters come out of storage and pumpkin lattes abound. My husband loves fall for a different reason. Football. The time of year when both my grocery and liquor bill skyrocket. I’ve been to several games and I’ve tried to get into the sport, but the spirit just isn’t there. I am far more interested in the fried foods that are offered than I am over who scored a touchdown. I won’t even remember who won the game, but I’ll be able to tell you in detail every morsel I put into my mouth while watching it.
I have a love/hate relationship with the football season, and this is why:

1. Love my personal time

While my husband turns into a football zombie for 18 hours every weekend, I get to lose myself in the internet Twilight Zone. This is done guilt-free without my husband’s criticism over how much time I spend in front of a computer screen.

2. Hate being a football widow

Where I once strapped on sexy stilettos for a Saturday date night, I now slip into yoga pants and zebra slippers for a hot date with my computer.

3. Love the food

Football season is second only to the Christmas holidays when it comes to binge eating. It’s the perfect excuse to act like the Romans did centuries ago—-eat, purge and gorge some more. Or pretend you’re a cow and switch over to your second stomach.

4. Hate the weight gain

Gorging to oblivion has its consequences. People break lap bands during football season and are forced to schedule gastric bypass surgery to return to their former weight…..otherwise they’ll remain the size of a lineman.

5. Winning puts my husband in a good mood

If his team wins, my husband is fired up. It’s the perfect time to call in favors such as re-grouting the bathroom floor or painting the house pink. He’ll do anything I ask—adopt another pug, host a ladies book club meeting or start up a foundation for wayward squirrels.

6. Losing puts my husband in a bad mood

If his favorite team loses, my husband becomes cranky and sullen. Times like this call for breaking out the handy Pez dispenser full of antidepressants.

7. Love the Super Bowl commercials

Normally I hate television commercials—I mute them or take a bathroom break when they air. But during the Super Bowl, I’m glued to the set in anticipation of the commercials. Months down the road I won’t recall who won the big game but I will remember the E-Trade talking baby, stomping Clydesdales and Dorito crunching dogs.

8. Hate that everything is scheduled around games

Last year our lives revolved around the football calendar. We missed three weddings, two funerals and the annual yard gnome convention.

9. Love the drinking

The term “Beer Belly” originated from football season. This year I want to supply kegerator backpacks for my husband and all of his buddies so that I don’t have to be on call as a barmaid during each game.

10. Hate the screaming and cheering

Forget napping on a Sunday afternoon. My husband and his football pals are reduced to grunting, hollering, clapping, chanting neanderthals during the games. They’re reminiscent of their caveman ancestors celebrating their latest kill around the camp fire. Woolly mammoth wing dip, anyone?
At the very end of the football season, I do my celebratory dance as the time clock ticks down to zero. I grab the last chicken wing off the platter and smile. Life will finally return to normal, and hopefully I’ll drop a few pounds before the swimsuit season begins.
And then my husband cheerfully reminds me that basketball season is only six weeks away….






BUFFALO CHICKEN WING DIP


2 cups diced, cooked chicken (cut small)
1/4 cup cayenne pepper sauce (like Frank's Red Hot Sauce)
1 cup mayo
1 cup shredded cheddar
2 TBSP finely chopped green onions
1 tsp. lemon juice
1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese, divided

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Toss diced chicken and cayenne sauce together until evenly coated. Add all other ingredients, reserving 1/4 cup of the Blue cheese. Pour mixture into a 1 or a 1 1/2 qt. baking dish. Sprinkle remaining 1/4 cup of cheese over top. Bake for 20 minutes or until bubbly.

***Serve with celery sticks or dipping chips



*****Meno Mama is in the Powder Room today talking about surviving the day after Thanksgiving with a funny spin, as always! Stop by and say hello! http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/me-time/2013-11-gobble-be-gone.html

30 comments:

  1. I'll have to try your Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip...I make one too, but different recipe and I am kind of partial to Texas Pete's...although not against trying something new! I love how winning might get you a new foundation for wayward squirrels...or another pug. I don't even ask. I just bring our new furry family member home and wait to see if he notices...hahaha. No, not really. But I do just tell him...he always comes around. I'm not allowed to go to the shelter anymore though. We have 7 pets...

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    1. Wow! You DO sound like our house!!! Between the 5 chinchillas, 1 rabbit and 3 dogs, I have been told my hubs will move out if anymore animals move in!

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  2. I could have written this!!! I couldn't agree more with every single one. And loving the dip recipe too! have to try this one. YUM!

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    1. Try it--I swear, I have are several and this is THE BEST!!

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  3. Oh, a woman after my own heart. I just love the fact you gave up this recipe for me to try. I LOVE my food to the max. THANK YOU MATE. I will be trying this very soon. As for football, I'm not really a fan unless it's the world cup where I conveniently change sides accordingly until I win.
    Have a great weekend :)

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    1. If you are a foodie like me, then you will LOVE this recipe, RPD!

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    2. The only football my husband watches is his and our son's college football, The Aggies. So, I can't imagine the background noise of one game after another. However, husband does watch Nascar that goes on and on and on..I love all your pros and cons. Love your blog!

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    3. Oh, my husband likes Nascar, too!! If it was up to him, the TV would be on all day with some sort of sports going on!

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  4. Okay, didn't think we'd like a post about football, but only you meno mama could make it interesting, give a laugh & still manage to end on a delicious note. That recipe sounds seriously tasty!! We'll be trying that this week for sure. As for the sport. We love your comparison of the cavemen & their kill compared to the barbarians rooting for their teams. Unfortunately, Mr. Inion N. Mathair, is a drummer, (Rock music) and never really got into sports, so we'll be reduced to waiting on a concert from Carnegie Hall! Great Post, sharing now!

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    1. You are so kind--thank you! I would much prefer to listen to rick music with their screaming fans over a football game and THEIR screaming fans!

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  5. My husband will watch bowling or golf if no other sport is on the TV. So able to relate to your post. I like to watch football, but I'm not big on basketball or baseball (though I like the latter in person). :)

    Hope you had a fabulous holiday. :)

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    1. I cannot IMAGINE listening to a bowling game or golf--ugh. Tennis makes me crazy too with all the grunting!

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  6. Happy to see this on a perfect weekend for it! It's the one day God and Baby Jesus designate for four straight days of football. It's like, planets aligning. If you'll excuse me, I think there's a game about to start.

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    1. You would get along famously with my husband! Now pass the wing dip!

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  7. Haha... I don't get football at all... it is one of those games that alludes me. I do know many women who are have to deal with this same thing... here's hoping your husbands team always wins... that way you can get lots done around the house... lol :)

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    1. That's right! His favorite teams won last night, so I have a list just waiting for him…..

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  8. You have no choice. You must join the Borg and be assimilated. Become one with the fall football schedule. Wear an obnoxious jersey. Yell louder than your husband. Drink more beer than him (hey, it can't add that much to you, you only rent it :) Eat vegetarian buffalo wing (yeah I know, ugh, but who wants to look like Mean Joe Greene after a Thanksgiving turkey binge :) Be more of a pain in the ass than your husband is, and maybe he'll take up knitting as a hobby instead :)

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    1. I'll admit, I DO like watching college football when my beloved NOLES are playing--and last night I DID scream louder than anyone in the room, LOL!

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  9. Luckily for me my husband isn't really into football but then again he loves basketball. I'm glad to hear you get the opportunity to surf the Twilight Zone during the season.

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    1. I surf and graze on leftovers All. Day. Long.

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  10. Great post! I watch a different type of football on this side of the pond, but the issues it raises are exactly the same. Interestingly, Mrs Jones loathed football until she reached 45 when she suddenly switched and became fanatical about the game. There's time yet for your conversion?

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    1. Hahaha, as long as the food and beer is flowing, I'll be a fan of ANYTHING!

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  11. Hi Marcia! I can't stand it when my husband yells at the TV during football games. Sadly, our pro team stinks, so there's a lot that. It really interrupts my Candy Crushing!
    Fortunately I don't snack too much. But I fill in during the week, don't worry about me!
    Not too much longer to go...by the time the Super Bowl comes along, all I'll be interested in are the commercials. I love that investment baby too!
    Ceil

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    1. Oh no! Candy Crush has you in it's clutches?? Beware! Yes, I will be watching the Super Bowl…well, watching the commercials that is, and stuffing my face!

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  12. My husband and I fight over whether I love football or not. I say I do, he says I don't because I'll only watch the Patriots. I say if the Patriots aren't on there IS no football. Guess we're gonna have to agree to disagree.

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    1. I totally get that---I only watch college football IF it's FSU or one of their rivals playing. The rest leave me yawning….

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  13. I think you just kind of described me watching football. Exccept that my gal is even more of a sports nut. Football, basketball, baseball, hockey. Beer and buffalo wings. Oh yeah!

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    1. I'll be there if buffalo wings are involved!

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