Whenever our funds get low, my husband suggests I look for part-time work to supplement my measly writer's income. The problem is that my skills are sorely lacking when it comes to career opportunities. I can cook, clean, and herd toddlers to the dinner table, but that's about it. In a land far, far away known as MY YOUTH, I worked all sorts of jobs----dental assistant, secretary, waitress, telephone operator, babysitter, cleaning woman, Avon sales representative.....and none of them thrilled me. I'd be hard pressed to find something at my age that I think I'd be good at (and actually enjoy doing). I'm a writer, and that's all I've ever wanted to be. But if I need to find additional employment, it'll have to be something unique.....something that I can do with confidence and pride in my work. Here are 20 weird jobs I'd be happy to try:
*Test pilot at a witch's broom factory
*Goose down feather pillow inspector
*Teacher at the School Of Hard Knocks
*Food critic for every five star restaurant in the U.S.
*Senior Beer Sampler at a brewery
*Golf ball dimple examiner
*Pogo stick tester
*Creative Director at the School of Mixology
*Ninja leaf blower
*Bounce inspector at a trampoline factory
*Panda bear babysitter at the zoo
*Yard gnome height verifier
*Underwater landscaper at Sea World
*Taste tester at the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory.
*Cork sniffer at a winery
*Elastic snapper at a rubber band factory
*Drone sniper at an airport
*Bubble counter at a champagne bottling company
*Conch shell tuner
*Wrinkle straightener at a farm for Shar-Peis
I'd be thrilled to do any one of these jobs. It certainly beats cleaning lint out of dryers at the local laundromat, or buffing caskets at a funeral home. I wouldn't mind trying my hand at being a fire starter at a smoke signal school, or being an artist at a tattoo parlor. How cool would it be to put my artwork permanently on someone's butt cheek? I hope they like stick figures, because that's pretty much all that I can draw.
See? I told you my skills are limited. Looks like I'll have to stick with being a writer, after all.
***Want more Meno Mama? I'm thrilled to have my first featured post on RawrWords this week! Check out my post, "A Letter To My Younger Self." You can read it here: http://rawrwords.com/2016/02/24/a-letter-to-my-younger-self/