My guest today for my super summer blogging series is one of the FUNNIEST writers in the blogosphere (and I am honored that she just so happens to be one of my best blogging buddies, too!). Please welcome Linda Roy of Elleroy Was Here!! She truly is my sista from another mista. A lover of all things pug-related and an incredibly talented mixologist, she is a woman after my own heart. We've been chatting online for quite some time now and sharing far too many laughs over the quirky things in life that we both find hilarious. We "get" one another, and that was never more evident than when we finally met at the ERMA conference last year. This was the first writing workshop I had ever attended, and I'll admit, I was a nervous wreck. Along came Linda, and she graciously took me under her wing. We were pretty much inseparable during the trip, and I cannot thank her enough for sharing her wisdom, humor and friendship with me. Whenever I visit her blog site, I know I'm going to be laughing out loud within seconds because she uses such inventive language (and some of the best blog titles I've ever read!!).I'm thrilled to share one of my favorite blogs from Linda's site with you today. Please welcome my dear friend with lots of comment love and shares. **For more giggles, you REALLY should subscribe to her blog and follow her on social media for your daily dose of laughter! **Links are below**
I See Old People
Wait a minute. What's this kid gassing on about? Old people? I thought it was dead people.
Is old the new dead?
Oh, shit.
You know, if I were Bruce Willis, (which by the way, if I could actually be any movie actor, he'd be tied for last place with Bill Bob Thornton) but if I were, I'd be asking this kid a slew of questions to get to the bottom of why specifically, he thinks he's seeing old people.
Tfile://localhost/Users/marciadoyle/Desktop/I-SEE-OLD-PEOPLE-.jpeghe little punk.
I know, I sound bent about this. Truth is, I'm menopausal and just a tad offended. Maybe he's just talking about the over 60 crowd. But I get more and more touchy about the subject the closer I get to 50, and it's looming. Believe me, I can feel it encroaching like arthritis on a precipitous day.
Little Haley Joel Osment was a cutie pie, wasn't he? Now he's a man for chrissakes, with facial hair. When did that happen?
Oh my God. I'm old.
So. You think you see old people, Haley? What gives? Tell us why.
I channeled my inner Willis and psychically queried man-Haley. Here's what he psychically told me.
1. They're driving at 10 miles below the speed limit with the blinker on. The whole time.
2. A conspicuous trail of bingo cards.
3. Ticket stubs from a Celine Dion show at Caesar's Palace.
4. A Golden Girls VHS tape.
5. A framed Thomas Kincaid print.
6. Saw them having hot coffee with lunch.
7. The crowded early bird seating at Lobster Shanty.
8. A pile of Readers Digests, pages dog eared on articles about the actual existence of angels.
9. A bookshelf full of John Grisham novels.
10. A bowl of Werther's Originals.
Thank God he's not talking about me. This is obviously the over 70 crowd.
Because if he was, that would be scarier than the dead people.
Photo by chrisinplymouth used under CC/Desaturated from the original
