Pee-u! This fly got stuck in the stink house! Today I'm participating in another Fly On The Wall Group posting with 14 other bloggers, hosted by Karen at Baking In A Tornado. I don't think the fly knew what hit him when he became privy to all the stinky things going on in our home. I'm talking clogged toilets and methane gas. If you have a sensitive stomach or can't handle poop talk, now would be a good time to strap on some nose plugs or exit the area.
If you were a fly on the wall in my house, you would have gagged while overhearing the following conversations (and the smells) this month:"Don't leave the baby's dirty diaper out where the dog can get to it. That's a diaper bean enchilada to him."
"It smells really bad in the bathroom. What did you do, poop out an entire cow?"
"The kind of goat cheese they make in Missouri is NOT the kind of goat cheese you want to eat on a cracker."
"I just got extra carbs from breathing in the pug's fart."" I had no idea our granddaughter could scream so loud. She sounds like she needs a priest to come in and perform an exorcism."
"I'm the taco to your hotdog."
"What? I'm not a kielbasa?"
"You can't eat your dinner if you have poop on your hands."
"I had a dream last night that I was back in the 7th grade. The problem was that I still had my goatee and chest hairs.""I'm going to start a toenail farm. I'll harvest toenails for people in need."
"I haven't showered in three days. My nether region smells like road kill."
"Every dinner at the Doyle house is like a Man vs Food episode."
"No playing with your donut hole!"
"I can't handle listening to you guys sing Annie Lennox's 'Sweet Dreams' in unison. The Von Trapp family you are NOT."
"That's because we're the spin-off group called, "The Von Crapp Family.""Your feet look like the claw feet on a Griffin leg tub."
"Forget buying Hot Pockets. We have Fart Pockets."
"I just did a manatee shart out of my blow hole."
"Hey Mom----did you know you can donate your eggs to a fertility clinic for $8000.00?"
"Mom's eggs are too old. They're scrambled…..but you should have seen the egg beater that Dad used."
"You're not just out in left field….you're in the lot NEXT to left field.""There are so many holes in my underwear that sometimes my toe catches in them and trips me."
"That's due to your high flatulence level."
"No, it's due to the work of the Bung Hole Fairies."
"I'm so desperate for work that I applied for a job as a Hula dancer at a Polynesian restaurant."
"Honey, I don't think they're hiring men for that position."
"Someone should invent a special poop glove. It could be washable and lavender scented. It would give new meaning to the term 'Pooper Scooper.' Even better, if you put rotating bristles on it, you could sell it as a Star Wars edition. May The Poop Be With You."
Forget a fly swatter. Anyone got a can of Glade Air Freshener?
******AWESOME time for Meno Mama! Featured on Huffington Post TWICE this week, along with a post appearing on the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop. You can find me here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcia-kester-doyle-/benefits-of-aging_b_5465465.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcia-kester-doyle-/benefits-of-aging_b_5465465.html
http://humorwriters.org/2014/06/13/10-reasons-go-renaissance-festival
Please visit the homes of the other bloggers participating in today's Fly On The Wall. Hopefully their homes won't be as stinky as mine!
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://www.therowdybaker.com The Rowdy Baker
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/ Just A Little Nutty
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.juiceboxconfession.com Juicebox Confession
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
www.theblacksheepmom.blogspot.com Black Sheep Mom
http://www.gomamao.com Go Mama O
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Battered Hope
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://elleroywashere.com elleroy was here
Your house sounds like it would be interesting..lot of teens?
ReplyDeleteI raised four of 'em and and still have one home…. PLUS another kid just moved back in…with her baby daughter!
DeleteThe Von Crapp family? You should get an agent, there could be a movie deal in your future!
ReplyDeleteI think you're right!
DeleteNothing to add. Really. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha! This was a crazy one, I know….
DeletePoop....always a big part of family conversations.....I have to stop myself when other people say there stomach hurts....from saying... Have you pooped today?
ReplyDeleteOMG I do the SAME thing!!! That is almost ALWAYS what the problem is!!!!
Deletehahaha. Are your kids past being embarrassed by their parents? Mine still roll their eyes when I speak.
ReplyDeleteThese types of posts ALWAYS embarrass them---they're afraid to say anything around me now for fear it will end up in one of my FOW posts!
DeleteGreat Article. it's Really Enjoyable Post Also Nice Blog. Keep up it. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by!
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Delete"I just did a manatee shart out of my blowhole." PRICELESS!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's the Hubs for ya!
DeleteAhh...poop is one of the most talked about subjects in my house, living with all men as I do. They would love this - might have to share!
ReplyDeleteMen LOVE poop talk! Please share! :)
DeleteI can totally relate to this right now as I am SHEEP SITTING for my daughter's new sheep (and 6 dogs and a cat) They are in Hawaii -- is this fair? Glad her house smells sweet -- but outside - that's another story.
ReplyDeleteWOW! Sheep sitting??? Never heard of it but I love it! I need to come stay with you---imagine the blog post I could get out of that?!?
DeleteYour house sounds like a place I'll fit right in.
ReplyDeleteLOL then come on over!
DeleteI LOOOOVE your Fly posts!!! I know never to drink or eat anything while reading them to avoid spewage and choking! LOL
ReplyDelete"The Von Crapp Family" BRILLIANT!!!!
Hahahaha!! Thanks Stacey---glad you like these so much!
DeleteManatee shart... I'm going to remember that one and share it EVERYONE! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of like an ear worm, right???
DeleteI believe I am a fly on your wall. Love these!
ReplyDeleteOf everyone I know Crystal, you really ARE the fly on our wall---you have READ it all
DeleteThese are always my favorites! Hilarious as usual, Marcia!
ReplyDeleteMy favorites to write too, Shay! Thanks!
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ReplyDeleteI hope you still have room for me!
ReplyDeleteGot a room ready!
DeleteWhat the heck were they doing with the donut hole?
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to know…...
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ReplyDeleteOh! I thought that Poop conversation takes place only in my family but its yours too..haha..a crazy post it is..loved it..Only you can write such hilarious posts..
LOL! Thanks, Ranita! Poop conversations are the funniest!
DeleteWhat a superbly, awesomely, funny house you live in...I would love it there....as would Dino.
ReplyDeleteCome on over!
DeleteLOL!!! I have 3 boys so this is the talk around our home too! When middle son when he was little would produce gigantic logs! I swear they were bigger than him. He would come and get me so I could see it and he would excitedly tell me this one has to be some kind of a record!
ReplyDeleteToo funny---my youngest son was the same way. He clogged out plumbing many, many times. I never could figure out how a small kid could produce such mammoth poops!
Deletehahaha... I just laugh a lot!
ReplyDeleteGlad I could make you smile!
DeleteLMAO funny, stinky stuff! Oh I want that super-duper Pooper Scooper! Btw, Love your glasses. :)
ReplyDeleteWould you believe we discussed the invention of the poop glove while we were EATING? Strong stomachs here…..
DeleteLooks like SOOOO much fun!
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment at the Doyle house!
DeleteI'm still wrestling with the "nether regions smelling like road-kill" comment. It's destroyed my appetite for the evening meal!
ReplyDeleteWell, at least it was in reference to my husband's man parts---thankfully not mine…..
DeleteFew things entertain as much as a good poop story.
ReplyDeleteI know, right? Everybody (with a strong stomach) loves them!
DeleteSo many of them had me laughing out loud... it is late here, I am sure the neighbors think I am nuts by now... lol
ReplyDelete"I'm the taco to your hotdog."
"What? I'm not a kielbasa?"
This one had me really laughing... men and their size issues... :)
That's EXACTLY what I thought when Hubs said it!
DeleteThanks for making my laugh today
ReplyDeleteGlad I could give you a smile, Jo-Anne. Thanks for stopping by! :)
DeleteYou've had your eggs scrambled by your hubby's egg beater, hahaha!
ReplyDeleteI think he's proud of that fact…..LOL!
DeleteWe just got home from a family vacay (the two oldest boys met us too), and one of the hotel bathrooms didn't have a fan. The women promptly sent their men to our room (that did have a fan) for the whole rest of the trip. ;)
ReplyDeleteUnderstandable!!!
DeleteThe Von Crapp family? Genius! You could hand out nose plugs and bottles of air freshener to the fans! :)
ReplyDeleteYes! That's a GREAT idea!
DeleteI'm so 'happy' to know that the farts and smells jokes don't ever stop!! :P
ReplyDeleteThey never get old in our house---just smellier…...
DeleteI love it when you do the Fly On the Wall Marcia! You guys are a bunch of crazies in the best possible way! Great pic of you in your gorgeous red glasses. Miss you, my friend! xoxo
ReplyDeleteMiss you too, Linda. Wish I could have gone to BlogU and now I'm missing BlogHer :(
DeleteI love our FOTW post and your kids...crazy material. I love reading what goes on.
ReplyDeleteDawn
Spatulas On Parade
Thanks for stopping by, Dawn!
DeleteI think I have finally "met" a family that is actually ruder than ours!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't you know it?!?
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