Friday, December 18, 2015

Fly On The Wall In A Christmas House

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A TornadoToday 12 daring bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see or hear if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. 

     The fly has been dizzy in my house with all the holiday festivities going on (or maybe it was just the champagne that got to him). We've had a lot of great family gatherings and the usual Doyle craziness. I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my loved ones and hoping the weather will be cool enough to have a fire in the backyard fire pit. Yes, here in Florida, the temperatures have been in the 80's. Then again, temps in the 60's are freezing to us!  I'm planning on having a relaxing holiday week, and I hope you do, too.

As I'm writing this post, the fly sees me jumping up and down with joy. Today my book, WHO STOLE MY SPANDEX, is  ranking #1 in Parenting Humor in the US, Canada, Australia, and in the top 100 overall Kindle sales in Canada and Australia. It's officially ranked as an International Best Seller, y'all. HOLY MOLY! I just might share my celebratory glass of champagne with the fly!

So......if you were a fly on the wall in my home this past month, here are some snippets of strange conversation that you would have heard:





"I'm so broke I can't afford to buy Christmas wrapping paper. Don't be surprised if your gift comes wrapped in baby shower paper or wedding paper....and possibly toilet paper."

"That politician in the debate shoots himself so many times in the foot that I'm surprised he has any feet left. "

"I need my coffee strong enough that it's like crack."

"All of our Christmas lawn decorations fell down in the wind last night. This morning it looks like they're hung over from a holiday party."

"The dog just nipped my side while I was playing with her on the floor. I think I only have one kidney left now. "

"You're the type of person who gets so overly-emotional during the holidays that you cry when one of your SIMS characters dies."

"Trying to get everyone in this family out the door at the same time is like herding cats."

"Thank God our party-happy house guests don't live here permanently, or else my liver would shut down within a week."

"You have way too many ornaments on that Christmas tree. You're an ornament hoarder."

 "She's about as affectionate as a porcupine."


"No, you're not having another powdered sugar war this year while we're making these Christmas cookies. I don't want my house to look like a winter wonderland again. "

"I want a shovel for Christmas."
"Why? Who do you plan on burying in the backyard?"



"I still have some moments of sanity....in between the hot flashes and mood swings."

"Never, ever shop online after you've had one too many glasses of spiked eggnog. You'll end up ordering two 15 ft. inflatable Christmas Elves for your yard.

"Christmas is almost here. Time to get out all the clothes that have elastic waistbands and spandex."


Time to shoo this drunk fly out of my house and get back to wrapping some Christmas gifts in toilet paper. Do you think anyone will notice? Enjoy the holidays, everyone!




***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I was recently featured on Mom For The Holidays with my humor book, "Who Stole My Spandex? Life In The Hot Flash Lane." Check out the review here: http://momfortheholidays.com/2015/12/06/meet-marcia-kester-doyle-of-who-stole-my-spandex-life-in-the-hot-flash-lane/ 







WANT THE PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFT? THE EBOOK IS ON SALE FOR .99 CENTS. YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY A CUP OF COFFEE FOR THAT PRICE! THE SALE ENDS DEC. 22, SO GRAB YOUR COPY NOW:           

Amazon US: http://tiny.cc/q4sb7x
Amazon UK: http://tiny.cc/g8sb7x
Amazon CA: http://tiny.cc/datb7x
Amazon AU: http://tiny.cc/tbtb7x
Barnes & Noble: http://tiny.cc/c6sb7x
iTunes: http://tiny.cc/26sb7x   




Click on these links for a peek into some homes of the other bloggers participating in today's Fly On The Wall Posts!


http://www.BakingInATornado.com                         Baking In A Tornado
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade
http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Never Ever Give Up Hope
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius
http://www.southernbellecharm.com                     Southern Belle Charm
http://dinoheromommy.com/                                  Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com                The Angrivated Mom
http://www.gomamao.com                                       Go Mama O
http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                    Juicebox Confession
http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com              Not That Sarah Michelle


30 comments:

  1. Congrats on the success of your book!! That's incredible!!! Yay you!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like your lawn decorations decided that what's on the outside should reflect what's on the inside!
    Congratulations on the continued success of your book. I'm happy for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Karen. And I think you're right about those lawn ornaments....

      Delete
  3. Too funny - love the "hung over" Christmas decorations and ornament hoarder comments! And congrats on your book! Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I swear I have 300-400 ornaments. I'm definitely a hoarder.....

      Delete
  4. Congratulations on the success of your book! I'm proud to have an original copy :)
    Your hanging decorations remind me of my Christmas lights after the latest snow storm. Drooping like my skin. Cheers to a blessed holiday. I LOVE that photo of your family!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Michele! Have a Merry Christmas! XO

      Delete
  5. Wow! A new option in wrapping paper! That is a lot better than running out of toilet paper and using wrapping paper toilet paper. Though the thought of glitter in certain strategic locations is appealing. So happy about your book's success! Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG you are too funny!!! I'm dying laughing!

      Delete
  6. Congrats an all of your success!
    You are hilarious & amaaaaaaaaaaazing.
    Love from MN. xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for all the love and support!

      Delete
  7. Big congrats on your book hitting #1! Now that is a great early Christmas present!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so pleased for you that your book is being so well received. I hope you and your family have a terrific and very Merry Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really did add some extra excitement to the holiday!

      Delete
  9. Thank you for the great chuckles. From coffee to elastic pants passing by the the shovel (I know who I want to bury this the Christmas) you all made me smile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Beth! Hope you're having a wonderful holiday (and not needing that shovel yet....)!

      Delete
  10. You have a pug? Love mine.
    Congratulations on the book!
    And I think TP is the perfect wrapping paper.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love it, as usual, and CONGRATS on the book success! Much love! --Shay

    ReplyDelete
  12. Marcia I'm thrilled with your seccess for your book, that is awesome xox.

    Toilet paper is too expensive to waste wrapping a gift.. how about the comics from the newspaper.. lol. They are free and colorful xox ♡

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your nook is rockin' sista, but of course! Now you have me a little worried about the Hubs wanting a shovel...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha-Ha! Just don't give him a shovel for Christmas!

      Delete
  14. Congratulations on your book success! That is so wonderful hear, and I'm sure it's a nice gift for the holidays! Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  15. It looks fun to be a fly on the wall here. :)
    Congrats!

    Happy Christmas! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's always a great time in this crazy house, ha-ha!

      Delete

Shareaholic

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...