Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly on the Wall group posts, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today 16 brave bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. 

      At my house, whenever my whole family gets together, things get weird. Someone will bring out the accordion and attempt to play polka music. Worse, SOME people actually try to dance to the music. Soon after, a pudding fight ensues. 


     Yes, I live with lunatics, and they all belong in a padded cell….together.  


"You've infected me with your lunacy."

"Don't throw out those leftover pancakes! I might eat them later."
"Instead of 'Save the Whales' your new slogan should be "Save The Pancakes."

"Laughter is NOT the best medicine. Chocolate is."

"I like this bottle of Winking Owl wine, even though it's really cheap."
"It tastes like crap. They should have named it Winking Sphincter wine."

"With all the tossing and turning you do in bed at night, I think that qualifies as a day's worth of rigorous exercise."

"Did my granddaughter just say that having to carry all of her stuff up the stairs was 'ridiculous'?"
"No---she said it was 'DICKulous.' She hasn't mastered her R's yet."

"Dear triple shot of espresso, please lie to me about how much we're going to get done today."

"Stop licking my earlobe---I already know you're feeling amorous. Who needs Q-tips when I have your tongue?"
"Are you talking to me or the dog?"



"Why is your ring tone a loud siren? Are you trying to give yourself a heart attack?"  
"Wow---that Water Pik works better than floss! After eating a steak, I just sprayed half a cow out of my molars." 

"I have so many tabs open on my laptop --- it sounds like a jet getting ready to take off."

"Note to self: never give your husband cabbage for dinner an hour before he has to drive clients around all night for Uber."


     Now you understand what I mean when I say I've been locked in a padded cell with these whack jobs. Can you hand me the keys to get out of here, please???