Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are bravely inviting you into their homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.
Now that the world is opening up again, the opportunities for freelance writing gigs have exploded and I don't think I have ever been busier! The nosy fly has seen me buzzing around my office all month as I navigate new websites and rush to meet the article submission deadlines. BUT I LOVE MY JOB!!
Having said that, there hasn't been much time to record all the weird conversations that have taken place around our house lately, I'm sharing some of my most favorite comments from past Fly On The Wall Posts---particularly those from 2017. It was quite the year
"How come the grass at the funeral home is growing so much better than ours?"
"They have an endless supply of natural fertilizer."
"I'm giving you the delicate nose hair trimmer designed for ladies. I'm taking the man's trimmer that uses a chain saw to cut the log hairs out of my nose."
"Being a good dog owner means knowing how to open a cheese stick wrapper without making any noise."
"Ancestry.com has a package deal on sale today. You should get one so we can finally find out what your DNA is."
"No thanks. I'm too afraid to find out that I might be kin to a schnauzer."
"You know you're getting old when you have to keep floss in every room."
"I'm scared to book a cruise. I've never been on one before."
"Come on, Mom, it'll be fun. Let's just go ahead and make the reservations!"
"No way---I remember how Titanic ended."
"Mom, there are no icebergs in the Bahamas......"
"I really want to breed our pup at least once before he gets neutered. I need to find a good breeder."
"What are you trying to do, pimp out our pug?"
"Cheese sticks are your remedy for everything. Hungry? Eat a cheese stick. Tired? Eat a cheese stick. Angry? Anxious? Got diarrhea? EAT A CHEESE STICK."
"The medical form asks what my marital status is. Doesn't that depend on the day?'"
"I was just talking to a bluejay outside. Seriously, in bird language."
"Snow White has nothing on you."
(Me, after a hurricane and no electricity for days): "My God, I wish the power would come back on soon because this house smells like sweat, dog pee, and the ghost of old farts."
"How was your birthday trip to St. Augustine? What did you guys do?"
"Fat. We got fat."
ME TO HUBS: "It's time for me to teach you how to twerk."
HUBS: (dressed in underwear and socks) "Are you making me do this because I may or may not have had too many glasses of wine tonight?"
ME: "No, I'm asking you to do it because I need to be entertained."
HUBS: (grabbing bedrail in an attempt to hold his balance while he moves his butt back and forth) "Is this the right way?"
ME: (gasping for air because I can't stop laughing) "It's right if you're trying to imitate a manatee during a mating ritual."
HUBS: "Glad I could amuse you, but I think I just threw my back out...."
"You walked the dogs, right? Did everyone poop outside?
"Well, the dogs did, but I haven't yet."
"I accidentally put tanning lotion on my toothbrush."
" I don't think your molars would look good with a tan."
"Let's buy our Halloween candy now before the store runs out of the good stuff."
"You're not fooling anyone with that excuse. Those mini chocolate bars are for your personal stash. If I buy the treats now, there will be nothing left to pass out on Halloween except for candy corn and gum."
"After 33 years of marriage, you know me too well. Time to trade you in for a newer model..."
***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? EXCITING NEWS! You can find my debut article for The Independent HERE and my latest for Always Pets HERE
Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope https://batteredhope.blogspot.com
Menopausal Mother http://www.menopausalmom.com/
Wandering Web Designer https://wanderingwebdesigner.com/blog
