Showing posts with label seniors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seniors. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Lockbox: Why Do Seniors Need One?

     I once worried about losing precious heirlooms and important documents until I heard about lockboxes. I've taken extra security measures since then to ensure that the items I hold dear will remain safe. What about you? Have you taken these steps to protect your own belongings?

     Today on the blog I have Will Bail, a freelance link-builder and web designer who is here to share the importance of owning a lockbox, which is especially advantageous for seniors who often forget where they've stored important items.
                               Lockbox: Why Do Seniors Need One?


Increasing Security In Your Home 

Just because you've retired or reached the next phase of your life doesn't mean you're safe from criminals. If anything, you may become a key target. However, if the standard security measures aren't something you want around the home, there is a method that you can easily utilize in your home. Lockboxes remain one of the best methods for keeping your items safe. By having an experienced and expert locksmith like those at South Perth Locksmiths craft the perfect lockbox for your needs, you can benefit in the following ways. 

1. Keep Medications Safe 

One inevitable aspect of senior life is medications. Prescription medications can be quite expensive, and there are always criminals looking to steal them. You can keep those medications in a safe storage place whenever you don't need them with a lockbox. It's also a great way to make sure that the grandchildren don't get into the medication. Despite all of your best intentions, all it takes is just a few minutes of looking elsewhere for children to get into things that might harm them. You can ensure their safety by storing those medications into a lockbox. 

2. Documents 

In the senior phase of life, you're going to need to keep a lot of documents on hand. That information on the document is extremely important to keep private. If you have caretakers in the home or even guests, you don't need to take any chances of them taking the information for identity theft purposes. With a lockbox, you can safely store those important documents within it. Not only does it keep them safe, but it also keeps them organized. So, if you need to access that information, you and those you trust can easily grab the desired document from within the lockbox. 

3. Heirlooms 

Over the course of your life, you've likely found precious objects that have a monetary or sentimental value. These objects may be something that you one day wish to pass down to your children or grandchildren. One excellent way to keep those heirlooms safe is to store them in a lockbox. Not only does this help prevent theft, but it can also keep them protected from potential damage. 

4. Jewelry 

To keep the precious jewelry that you've collected over the years safe, you should store it in a lockbox. It's easy to lose jewelry if it's kept in drawers or in smaller boxes. For your own personal peace of mind, you can store all of the small and big pieces of jewelry in one place. A lockbox keeps it safe, protected from damage, and it offers the chance to organize them. 


For added security in your home, you can use a lockbox to store your medication, important documents, heirlooms, your jewelry, and other precious items. Not only will those items be safe from criminals, but they're also kept in one place for easy access when you need them.


BIO: 

Will Bail is a freelance link-builder and web developer. He has an adventurous mind but seldom travels as he would rather stay home and make client's business website more visible on internet. When not working you can find him playing nintendo games or hanging out at the church.

Friday, March 25, 2016

You've Got Spam: The 14 Worst Offers On The Internet

     It has been awhile since I've deleted the junk in my SPAM folder. The last time I did it, I found all sorts if interesting invitations (you can read the post HERE). I recently did a clean sweep on my laptop and found a bevy of new, hilarious offers in my SPAM. This stuff never gets old, so it's only fair that I share the latest, HOT OFFERS with you, so that you can get in on these "awesome" deals:

1. Sexy CPAP options (the new "zoo line" masks come in zebra print or leopard spot to make bedtime more interesting).

2. Diet pills that claim you can eat like a Viking and still maintain a beach-ready, bikini body (what size is the bikini?).

3. Toenail fungus removal (complete with an amputation kit).

4. Cheap car insurance (by the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Auto Insurance Company).

5. Divorce attorneys (who also moonlight for Ashley Madison).

6. Inexpensive laser hair removal (yes, you too, can look like a plucked chicken!).

7. Miracle pills for breast enhancement (ever notice there's nothing for a breast reductions?).

8. An invitation to join a single seniors dating website for naughty fun (bringing sexy back with designer, leak-proof undergarments and crotchless support hose).

9. Miracle hearing aids guaranteed to improve hearing (in other words, your husband no longer has an excuse to tune you out).

10. Testosterone boosters ( in case you need your erection to last longer than eight hours. What kind of beast are you??).

11. Cremation burial services (why is this ad sponsored by a premium garden mulch company?).

12. Bladder solutions for an overactive bladder (the kit includes a free bottle of Super Glue).

13. Got flatulence? Try the new FLATU-CORK (12 adjustable corks to stop up your gas before you stink up a room).      

14. A message from clairvoyant John: "IMPORTANT, PLEASE OPEN" ( there's a computer virus in your future).

     Want any of these terrific deals? Just open up your SPAM folder. I'll bet it's brimming with marriage proposals from India and buy-one-get-one-free deals on plastic surgery!


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I have a crazy, funny NEW post up this week on Purple Clover! Check out "The Queen of Bad Teeth" : http://www.purpleclover.com/health/6181--queen-bad-teeth/
I also had a post featured on The Good Men Project---"10 Things I Never Imagined I Needed To Say To My Teen Son" http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/10-things-never-imagined-needed-say-teen-son-jrmk/

Friday, October 3, 2014

Got SPAM?

     If I don't clean out my SPAM folder regularly, it builds up like a mountain of junk mail. This triggers my OCD tendencies, forcing me to delete every item on the page until it's clutter free.

     Occasionally, a valid email accidentally ends up in the junk pile, which requires a slow scroll through each message to make sure I'm not erasing anything important.

    My life would be pretty exciting if the special deals offered to me via SPAM were real. I'd have unlimited spending on a platinum card, life insurance for just a penny a day, an awesome credit score, the winning sweepstakes ticket and a reverse mortgage on my house. I'd also have a marriage proposal from a Russian bride named Svetlana, miracle pills for bigger breasts, access to a married dating service and a cure for erectile dysfunction.

     Lately, I've been noticing a disturbing trend in my junk emails. Whoever (or whatever) is sending me these daily notifications assumes that I need breakthrough diabetes medication, free Ray-Ban sunglasses, fungus removal and dates with all of the "HOT BRAZILIAN  MEN" trolling my online profile for a perfect match.

     Another thing I don't understand is why I'm receiving a multitude of penis enhancement ads. These messages include clever slogans such as, "Size Matters" and, "When Small Is A Dirty Word." The free pill samples promise to help "Get bigger, last longer, stay harder." Who wants genitalia the size of an elephant's? Anyone with an erection lasting longer than eight hours should be considered a human tripod.

     I'm also getting plenty of offers for toenail fungus removal. The last time I checked, no one in my family was growing a mushroom factory under their toenails. There's no fungus among us.

     Since I have a bladder the size of a kidney bean, it's no surprise that I receive emails from concerned medical professionals who want to send me a free, Do-It-Yourself catheter kit. Of course, their gift comes with a warning: "Please read directions carefully---do NOT insert catheter in the wrong area." Thankfully, they're offering me the self-lubricated brand, otherwise it would feel like sandpaper in my nether regions.

     According to my SPAM mail, I've also been invited to unlock Adriana's "naughty picture album." What the message doesn't reveal is that Adriana is ninety-four-year-old great grandma performing her pole dancing act on the geriatric ward.

   
     It's a good thing I check my notifications daily, otherwise I would have missed the news that I won a $5000 trip to Maui. The downside is that I didn't claim my prize within 24 hours, so I'm stuck with a three-day trip to Luckenback, Texas, via Greyhound Bus and a check for $12.50.

     Another interesting fact I learned from my SPAM page is that people are doing background checks on me through the criminal records archives. First of all, I don't have a criminal record. But if I did, the only thing I'd get busted for is stealing extra ketchup from the hot dog stand or nabbing several packets of sweetener off a table at The Olive Garden.  I wonder how much jail time I'd serve for that chicken drumstick I smuggled out for my dog from the all-you-can-eat buffet?

     If I ever need a new car, I know where to find one. I'm inundated with ads for affordable sports cars. They may look like Corvettes on the outside, but I'm betting these vehicles are missing their floorboards. How else could they be so cheap? I'd have to use my Fred Flintstone feet and run like a hamster on a wheel to get the car going. At least my family wouldn't have to worry about me drag racing down I-95.

     There's also some great weight loss deals advertised in my junk emails. For a low price, I can receive the secret Paleo diet that all the celebrities use. What? Eat steak every day and lose weight? Count me in!

     If the Paleo diet doesn't work, there's always the special fat buster offers that clog my inbox. Fat busters work like Ghost Busters---they zap unwanted cells until they shrink and disappear. "Who you gonna call? FAT BUSTERS!"

     My all-time favorite SPAM notifications are the ones that ask me if I'm interested in meeting "SINGLE SENIORS 50+ NEAR YOU."

     Please define "50 Plus." What if my blind date shows up with a walker and a urostomy bag? Will our date include a ride on the senior citizen's bus to the Early Bird Special at Denny's? Will I be required to wear compression socks and orthotic sandals? I might be more enticed by the ad if it included the slogan, "Where Seniors Meet to Nip Whiskey and Play Bocce Ball."

     And now if you'll please excuse me, I need to order my miracle breast enhancement pills, grab my free Ray-Bans and set a wedding date with Svetlana.



***Want more Meno Mama? This week I was featured on Better After 50 discussing my battle with body dysmorphic disorder and my eating disorder. You can read it here: http://betterafter50.com/2014/09/coming-to-terms-with-my-life-long-weight-problem/

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