Friday, January 11, 2019

14 Things I Should (But I Probably Won't) Do In 2019

     I decided several years ago not to make New Year's resolutions after a series of failed attempts at improving myself. Not a whole lot of change going on over here at my age. I'm pretty happy right where I am, but it's nice to dream about certain resolutions coming true. Lose weight? Maybe a pound or two. Finish my memoir? Absolutely! But don't ask me to give up chocolate or lemon drop martinis because that will never happen.

     What else will I resolve (but fail) to do in 2019? Everything on the list below. You might even find a few of these on your own to-do list for the New Year.

1. Buy a Peloton bike for my morning workout. This will be great.....for about a month. By February, the bike will be used as a place to drop my clothes. I don't need an expensive laundry hamper like that.

2. Begin the Keto Diet. Everyone knows what happens with this resolution. It ends up being the Eat-O-Diet.

3. Be more patient with people. Which I can totally do until I get into my car. "WHAT THE HELL, DUDE, MOVE! IT'S A GREEN LIGHT! ARE YOU COLOR BLIND?"

3. Get organized. In theory, this is a wonderful idea. Usually I start with the Tupperware drawer in my kitchen. But after finding ten containers and only two matching lids, I get frustrated and quit. I'm pretty sure those lids were abducted by the same aliens who stole the other half of my matching sock sets from the dryer.

4. More "me time" for pampering. I'd love to try goat yoga twice a week. Just remind me not to leave my mat unattended for any length of time.

5. Travel the world and experience new cultures. The problem is that I don't fly. As soon as someone builds a bridge over the Atlantic, I'm sure I'll get there.

6. Resolve to make amends with the people who treated me crappy in 2018. Nahhhhhh......I'll let karma handle that one.

7. Practice Five Minute Meditation. Which is fine, until it turns into a three hour nap.

8. Drink less alcohol. HAHAHAHAHA.

9. Save Money. Does this means I can no longer collect sequined poop emoji totes??

10. Spend more time with family and friends. Does interaction on Snapchat count? Asking for a friend....

11. Lose Weight. This might work if my favorite source of entertainment wasn't rummaging around in the refrigerator every 30 minutes.

12. Find a new job. Sure, I could easily go from being a stay-at-home writer to being a stay-at-home professional napper.

13. Learn a new skill. There's no better time than 2019 to master playing beer pong with my left hand.

14. Volunteer time to a worthy cause. Since I'm allergic to grumpy old people, incontinent cats and cranky toddlers, it looks like a dolphin rehab center would be more my style.

     All kidding aside, my resolutions to love more and to treat each new day as a gift is an easy one to keep. 2018 was a mixed bag of emotions for me with health scares, political drama and hurtful people, but I finished out the year in the most spectacular way with the birth of a new granddaughter. And with the recent announcement of my son's upcoming nuptials in April, it looks like 2019 is already off to a great start. I'm really looking forward to what the new year has to offer. BRING IT ON, 2019!!


  1. Great post...I look forward to seeing more from you

  2. Oh you make me laugh! It does sound like 2018 ended well and 2019 is on the way to be great for you. Your Resolutions are perfect!

  3. Although not all of those would be on my list, I, too, would do none of them.

  4. Thank you for my first laugh of the day! And me too, in the car. Ha!

  5. I made a list, too but yours is much more funnier and I'm happy to see that you are doing well :)


    1. Thank you, Priscilla. Onward and upward into 2019!

  6. If you really want to get organized, just fly me down and we'll get it done :) In the meantime, congratulations on all the wonderful family news, and wishing you a laugh-filled 2019. Can't wait to read what you'll have in store this year!

    1. I could DEFINITELY use your organizational skills here!

  7. Haha! Marcia, this was like reading my own thoughts. NY Resolutions are not my strong suit. Although I'm sure I could improve if I really tried. If I set these crazy goals, maybe I would actually reach one...NOT. Give up alcohol? Hahabaaaah. Nope, doubt it. Thanks for making me feel that I'm in good company. Here's to 2019! Bring it on.

  8. I spent Christmas day with my family the drove me bat shit crazy,I always want to me more organised isn't going to happen.

    1. Families can be very chaotic but ya gotta love 'em!

  9. You always propose exceptional Ideas..... Thanks for the share



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