Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, five bloggers are bravely inviting you into their homes to see what goes on behind closed doors.

     The fly is STILL going stir crazy as the COVID-19 pandemic rages on. It has been very difficult lately to find humor amid the chaos in the world. The news reminds us daily of rising death tolls, overcrowded hospitals, and a massive lack of toilet paper (WHY IS THIS STILL A PROBLEM? WHO IS HOARDING ALL THE TOILET PAPER?). Thank God I have a husband who has a gift for humor and knows how to use it when times are tough.

   
The other thing that is helping me through the pandemic is FaceTiming frequently with my kids. Sometimes we are on for hours, laughing about stupid stuff we did and learning new things about one another. Being apart so long has created a deeper appreciation for one another, and it really shows during our online conversations.


     Oh, and another thing that helps: tropical drinks in the hot tub on a Saturday night while listening to Hawaiian music. Yeah, that's an important one!

     Thankfully, despite everything happening in the world today, I can still find bits of humor here and there, and most of it comes from the man who once promised in his wedding vows to make me laugh every single day:


"You've been cooking too much ever since the quarantine started. My colon is now five pounds heavier."

"I just went to the drugstore and then to the gas station. Both were completely empty. Is it possible that The Rapture occurred and we got left behind?"


"Since we've been stuck at home, I've moved past wearing sweatpants every day to wearing a Snuggie on the couch."

"I almost accidentally put Bengay instead of Desitin on my chafed butt cheeks. Talk about a flaming ass#$@*"

"Okay Lizzo, I did my hair toss and checked my nails. When do I start feeling good as hell?"

"You know I must be bored when I find squirrels running up and down a tree entertaining."
"You're fine as long as you don't start barking at them"

"Since I can't go to the mall during this pandemic, I've been looking for new clothes online."
"Any luck?"
"You know that 'one size fits all' slogan that companies
advertise? They lied."

"Stop baking Monkey Bread every weekend. I'm so tired of it, I feel like I'm eating the monkey's butt."

"I tried to sell our lamps for $50 on the Nextdoor App but nobody was interested. I know we need some extra cash until our stimulus checks from the government come in, but I'm not sure what else to sell for money. This whole situation is seriously pissing me off."
"I can always strap you in a chair on the front lawn with a sign that reads, "Ornery Man For Sale: $10 Or Best Offer.'"

"It has been four weeks since I've shaved my legs or plucked my eyebrows."
"Yes, I can see that you're channeling your inner Woolly Mammoth."


 
I do believe that between my husband's jokes and FaceTiming my kids, I just might survive this Quarantine time with my sanity intact after all.....

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? You can find me on Humor Outcasts this week with a funny piece about drinking at home. Read it HERE

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes: