Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are welcoming you into our homes to see what a fly might see (or overhear).
That nosy fly may not be happy that summer is almost over (no more buzzing around my BBQ), but I'm thrilled to step into autumn! Pumpkin spice everything, Halloween, and lots of family birthday celebrations are coming up. I wish I could add "sweater weather" to my list, but here in Florida, those hoodies won't come out for another month or two.
Autumn also means football season (C'mon, CHIEFS, get it together!), and time to spruce up the RV so we can resume our road trips. We're heading out next week to an RV resort that has a pool AND a tiki bar.....guess where I'll be spending most of my time?
We've been fortunate enough to spend extra time lately with all the kiddos and grandkids, even though school is back in session. I'm so lucky they all live nearby, and I will never, ever, take that proximity for granted!
Per usual, the fly has overheard more weird conversations in our home, and y'all know how much I love to tease my husband about his advancing age and the "ailments" that come with it.
"Back in the day, everyone said I looked like Tom Selleck. Now I look more like Sean Connery."
"He's dead now, so yeah, at the rate you're aging, you do look like him."
"What's that weird bump on your chest?"
"A third nipple---I'm like a cow with extra nipples."
"Cow nipples?"
"Yes, cow nipples."
"Then why haven't I heard you mooing?"
"Because I'm waiting for the rest of the nipples to come in, along with my tail."
"Did I mention we're having steak for dinner tonight?"
"As a kid, I never learned how to play Chinese checkers."
"What?? Every kid played that game!"
"Not me---I was the foodie kid who was too busy playing the Easy Bake Oven game."
"I have a great idea for a Christmas gift!"
"At your age, it should be a catheter kit."
"It is! But it would be a special "holiday edition catheter" that doubles as a snow globe. Every time I used it, glittery snowflakes would swirl around in the liquid."
"The way your brain works scares me."
"Even better, you could have the snow globe catheter personalized with my name in gold lettering!"
"Forget it---you just put yourself on Santa's naughty list."
"Ambiance is important to me in a home. I like my light bulbs dim."
"Well, you certainly married one..."
"Yeah, you're Mr. Dim Bulb---and you have a short. So what does that make me?"
"You're a floodlight--bright but obnoxious!"
"We just got invited to a 'dining in the dark' party."
"What's that?"
"You wear a blindfold while you eat, so you can't see what you're eating. You have to guess what the food is by taste. Doesn't that sound fun?"
"Heck no, I'm not doing that! I can't trust you----you'll take off your blindfold while I'm eating and shove a kielbasa down my throat!"
"Ahhhh, you know me so well...."
"I take it you didn't sleep well last night."
"Do I look tired?"
"Your skin looks extra leathery this morning."
"There's not enough sleep in the world to fix a face that looks like a deflated basketball."
"Dude, your bunyon is getting worse. It looks like a 6th toe."
"It is---and it has a personality of its own. His name is Paul....Paul Bunyon."
I don't know about your marriage, but I'm pretty happy with Mr. Dim Bulb, even if he has a sixth toe and a cow nipple. Anybody got a Kielbasa they can share for dinner?
***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I have an emotional essay about pet grief on AARP/The Ethel this week (still makes me cry) that you can read HERE and an "anonymous" essay on the AARP website about a flirty husband (naughty boy!) that you can read HERE Over at AARP/The Girlfriend, I share my fave summer BBQ recipes HERE.
Hop on over to Karen and Diane's house to see what the nosy fly has been up to over there!
Compared to Tom Selleck AND Sean Connery, lucky guy! Love this monthly look at your family!
ReplyDeleteIt's always fun to tease Mac--and I like to punk him, too, haha!
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