Friday, January 18, 2013

Fly On The Wall

     Today I am participating in a group blog posting called "Fly On The Wall", created by Karen over at www.bakinginatornado.com. There are 14 other bloggers participating in this fun little project that allows our readers a sneak peak into a day in the life of a blogger. Or as I call it, "Embarrassing Things We Really Shouldn't Share With The Public".
     Before entering my home, there are several signs posted outside that forewarn visitors what they might encounter inside.
     Our Family is nuts:

     We belong in the looney bin:

     We take NO responsibility for unattended children:



     If you are faint of heart, turn back now because this blog post is not for you. If you find the mentioning of certain bodily functions offensive, click out of my site now and find a nice blog post on DIY sofa covers or frilly lamp shades.
     I have a teenager and 3 adult children. When we are all together under the same roof, things get interesting. If you were a fly on the wall in my house during this time, here are some snippets of conversation you would have heard:

     "Dad is just a crusty old man who sunbathes with dinosaurs and eats bologna sandwiches."

     "Stop singing Whitney Houston songs! My ears are bleeding!"

     "Don't eat corn! That junk ricochets back at you in the toilet!"

     "It's a sign of sisterly love that our toenails fell off on the same day. That's what I call true bonding."

     "Why did you let me eat that much orzo? Now I need a stomach pump."

     "I want a penguin. And a kangaroo."
     "Yeah, well I wanted a yard gnome but I never got one."

     "Don't you hate it when you burp and throw up in you mouth at the same time?"
     "Can't be any worse than pushing out a fart and then end up peeing a little bit in your pants."

     "Cut your damn Hobbit toenails!"

     " I gotta pee so bad my bladder is gonna burst in my throat!"

     "You let the dog lick your face? He just ate his own poop outside!"

     "Stop hoarding all the peanut granola bars in your room. What are you, a squirrel?"

     "Oh, she pooped in her diaper. That was a nice little surprise package."

     "You need to get out of sloth mode and get busy doing your chores!"

     "Don't cut your toenails next to me while I'm eating lunch. I don't want those flying missiles landing in my macaroni salad."

     "I'm not putting my laundry in with his. I don't want our clothes rubbing together in the washing machine. I can't even dry my face off on those towels because they all smell like his dirty under ware."

     "No, sweet potato casserole does not come from ear wax."

     "Who the hell had a picnic in the bathroom?"
     "What do you mean?"
     "There's a meatloaf in the toilet and lemonade all over the seat."


     And in the past week, I have been referred to by my children as a:
     Rotten vagina
     Poopsicle
     Blogger whore
     Wine bee-otch
     Fatty McFarty

     Don't get mad, people! These are terms of endearment in my home. Which is why I love my family so much.
     Welcome to the nuthouse!

Check out the other bloggers at: 

www.BakingInATornado.com                      
http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                            


95 comments:

  1. I AM DYING OVER HERE! I think my family and your family need to hang out! ;-)

    Velch: A vomity belch. I made it up.

    Toenails in the macaroni salad? Could add some interesting texture.

    Sweet potatoes DO look like earwax!

    I am proud to call you my friend! XOXO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE "VELCH" !!! Wish I had thought of that. Thanks for the love--back at 'cha! XOXO

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  2. Who the hell had a picnic in the bathroom?? HA HA HA HA!! That was too funny. Your house does sound a bit like mine...except mine are a bit younger. Thanks for sharing :) Cheers, Jenn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd think once they grow up it would stop, but sadly, no.....

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  3. Nothing offensive here, I laughed and laughed. Love all the warnings, I thing they probably belong on everyone's door.

    So glad you participated. This was hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was nervous about posting it, but apparently I'm not the only one with a family who obsesses over anything & everything gross!

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  4. Lol - had a good laugh at the terms of endearment.

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  5. Replies
    1. Wow! You really did like this, huh? Thank you & glad I could make you laugh!

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  6. Love the signs! Your family sound so fun!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never a dull moment in the Doyle house, that's for sure!

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  7. Awesome post Ms. Fatty McFarty! It's a relief to know there are others out there living at the funny farm...

    Have a great weekend!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
    (¸.·´ (¸.·`¤... Jennifer
    http://jennsrandomscraps.blogspot.ca
    http://pinterest.com/jennp6

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God you didn't call me Poopsicle--I get that one WAY too much! Nice to know we are not the only weird family out there....

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  8. "Dad is just a crusty old man who sunbathes with dinosaurs and eats bologna sandwiches."

    ^^^^ That is my favorite thing about today so far. No question.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww.... thank you! I was nervous about posting it but I'll admit I had a hell of a lot of fun writing it!

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  9. Awesome!!! Just freakin' awesome!
    I LOVE your NUT HOUSE! <3

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Meg! You are welcome to come visit our nuthouse any time you'd like!

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  10. Those were soo funny, I forgot about my hot flashes, moodiness and puffiness for a moment.
    Thank you! Love another nut house:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anything to get through a hot flash, right? I am SOOO with you on that one!

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  11. My favorite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "Don't you hate it when you burp and throw up in you mouth at the same time?"
    "Can't be any worse than pushing out a fart and then end up peeing a little bit in your pants."

    ReplyDelete
  12. LOL! Awesomely hilarious! Sounds like a lot of fun at your house.
    Liz
    http://blendingafamilyofdorks.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We DO have fun here--wacky and wild but I love 'em to the moon and back!

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  13. LOL!! I love that you have an embroidered cushion and all!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually have a ton of squirrel things around the house--I collect squirrel,s and many of the things refer to the nut house. I think it was just meant to be....

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  14. Oh.My.Word. Still laughing. Seriously, still laughing!!!

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  15. Oh my gosh...Seriously died laughing!!! The terms of endearment are amazing and my FAVORITE quote was the flying toenails in your macaroni salad! Gag!! Hahaha!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, it happens all of the time. My son will cut his toenails anywhere, anytime!

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  16. What a fun hop theme love it and I get all those happenings except the toenails in the macaroni salad my family won't eat it anyway, so I only make it for outings outside the house, my mom name this week was droolsipper and sadly not referring to my own drool. Love the nut house!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Droolsipper? Oh my! I couldn't have made that one up if I tried!

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  17. Sounds like you are a fun bunch to me. LOL

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are--you should come visit us sometime!!!

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  18. OMGosh Hilarious! Def sounds like loads of fun! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our house is a crazy mess but we wouldn't have to any other way!

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  19. A nuthouse? Really? I thought that kind of talk was normal! Sounds like our house when the kids and grandkids come to visit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to know I'm not the only one living in a looney bin!

      Delete
  20. Hahahaha! That's too funny. Well, you know I sure as hell am not offended. I'm not even going to ask about "Rotten vagina." I do like "Blogger whore." Lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My daughter thinks I spend WAAAY too much time on my blog, which is how I earned that lovely title from her.

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  21. Wow, your dog poops outside? Lucky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But he DOES pee in the house---he has to wear a doggy diaper. He's my tough guy in a diaper!!!

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  22. Huh, sounds just like home... :)

    And I do agree, you should never, never let a dog lick you. Especially in the face. Just before it was eating the poo, it was rolling on and licking the dead possum next door. Just sayin'...

    I like the bathroom humor too. I think I'll use the picnic line on my brother. Thanks for the ammo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can always rely on the Doyles to give you some good bathroom humor. And the possum remark...EEEWWW! Today I caught the dog eating my granddaughter's poopy diaper from the trash. It will be a LONG time before I share any doggy kisses.

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  23. Ha... too funny. You just gotta love "family" time. Take care, Slu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My family is a bunch of crazies but I love them dearly!

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  24. Please, woman. You know I'm gonna LOVE a post with so many body functions. Mint! A family to aspire to. You knocked this one out of the park!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww, thanks!! I had a blast writing it despite the embarrassment it caused my family!

      Delete
  25. I'm sitting here laughing out loud! OMG, can I come over? You need a Reality TV! lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you are onto something there--maybe I can give Honey Boo Boo a run for the money!!!

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  26. The visuals I had reading this post, made me put on some protective clothing. I imagined the corn splattering around the bathroom mixed with gunge (you know what I mean), the vomit in the mouth after burping, and the bladder bursting in the throat. You should do a mini TV series and call it 'The Family', it sure would liven up up channels, ha ha ha.
    As for the names of endearment, my favourite was 'poopsicle' but I did wonder why you was labeled that way!
    I hate to say this, but your family are nuts for true :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have no clue where my kids come up with this stuff. I think from their father. They are all wacky--I'm the only normal one in the family, can't you tell?

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  27. My power went out last night, so I commented from my phone.. I see it didn't work.. oh well...

    Anyhow, after I read this post, I had to take a break from laughing so hard... Don't we all have family like this... I that this was the norm.. haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the norm for around here! Thanks for coming back again to comment--hope your power is back on!

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  28. Hi,

    I'm a new follower from Thumping Thursdays. Have a good weekend!

    xo
    Gwen
    http://junior-executive.blogspot.com
    http://green-bellpepper.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Gwen! Thanks for the follow--I'll be sure to check you out!

      Delete
  29. Ah yes, I have tons of similar terms of endearment from my childhood home. ;) The sweet potatoes one was new to me though, lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, so I'm not the only one with a bunch of crazies at home going me strange nicknames! Good! And yeah, you will never look at sweet potato casserole the same way again.....

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  30. We definitely all have our own nuthouse. :) I won't go into details about things that happen in my house that truly do make me want to bury my head. However, some how it still makes us laugh and be merry with each other.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Im your newest follower via gfc. Visit me.

    Vickie
    OhAbbyDay.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Vickie. I'll be sure to check out your site!

      Delete
  32. Good post...

    The one about farting and peeing reminds me of a time when I went to take a shit a work. Well the problem was I forgot to tuck and quite a bit shot out into my pants. I spent the next twenty minutes with the hand dryer pointed down my pants to dry me off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just gross enough to make a funny blog post out of it.

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  33. I love your "embarrassing things we shouldn't share with the public"! Sounds exactly like my family :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then you too, have a FUN family and you're in good company!

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  34. Well, at least you're honest with yourself about knowing that you're crazy! :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. That was so funny! Found you through Bloggy Moms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by--I love new readers!

      Delete
  36. Hey thanks for dropping by Tuesday's Tea Party, blog hop and ad space giveaway. Dont forget to enter to win free ad space every week! Yours Madly, Alice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll be sure to check it out. I love the hop you host----you have some really good bloggers there!

      Delete
  37. I just found your blog today via the blog hop and I love it! You are hilarious! I'm now a follower!
    Tiffany
    www.fabulessinheels.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tiffany. I'll be sure to check out your site!

      Delete
  38. Hello, I'm a new follower. I enjoyed reading your blog.
    Angel

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by--I love new readers!

      Delete
  39. You have me peeing my pants - so damn funny - my son just did something I posted about a few posts back - check it out - my family's as nuts as yours lol
    XOX

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  40. You have a very interesting and happy family.

    By the way, I am Harry from Jakarta Indonesia and I like your blog. I have followed on Google Friend Connect (No. 1496) please follow back. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the visit and the follow, Harry!

      Delete
  41. As a 50 yr old mother of 3,grandmom of 4 you'd of thought I'd have found you before, but thanks to Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop I've found you now. All I can say is, Thank God I wear Poise 'cause JU SO FONII!!! Ya got yerself a new follower mujer. BB2U

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww thank you, BB. Didn't mean to make you wet your Poise, haha! I will definitely be over to check out your blog site, and thanks for the follow!

      Delete
    2. Oh my goodness this is so funny. I saw your name of Keith's blog and had to come over. I am an almost 60 year old grandma (in Feb.) and we say some of those exact things here! So funny.

      I always say we're a nutty house too.

      sandie

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    3. See, you're not alone! Now I think I'm going to go check out your blog site just to see how nutty you are! Thanks for dropping by!

      Delete
  42. Hi thank you for visit my blog., I have just followed your GFC. http://pakitong.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jonathan! Nice to meet you!

      Delete
    2. You are very much welcome, I just added mg GFC widget for you to follow me also. thanks ahead.

      Delete
  43. Hello!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, the follow, and commenting. I'm now your newest follower:) Enjoy your weekend!


    Carissa
    Lillies & Silk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for hopping over--I love new readers and followers!

      Delete
  44. This is hilarious! I’m a new follower of your blog from the Monday Mingle Blog Hop! Would love if you could stop by mine. Thanks :0)

    The Three Whiskateers
    http://thethreewhiskateers.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
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