Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Wacky Wednesday Writers Guest Post By: Evil Joy Speaks

    My WWW guest today is one heck of a funny lady! Please welcome Joy Hedding of  Evil Joy Speaks! Joy writes mostly about her family life but throws in the occasional (and totally relatable!) rant or a clever poem, and she participates in several group blog postings each month. She is one of the few writers I know who doesn't like coffee (GASP!) but still gets her caffeine fix through tea. She also has an interesting nickname for pinot grigio wine but I can't repeat it here. You'll just have to check out her hilarious blog to see for yourself!
     "Evil Joy" really isn't evil at all---I think she has a kind heart and is very supportive of her peers in the blogging community. I'm betting you're going to love this lady as much as I do! Please welcome Joy to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love!

                                         NEW FORM OF SELF TORTURE

Alright.  I’m just going to lay it on the line.
I’m hairy.
Yes, you read that right.  I have the male equivalent  of the 5 o’clock shade by 10 am on my legs and underarms.  And yeah…I have super dark hair.  Evidently the grays don’t start invading the areas of your body (other than your head) until later.
So…while out visiting a friend, I learned about Nads.  And how Nads actually rips hair from the its follicle and makes me ‘shout’ obscenities under my breath.
Excitedly, I opened the package.  I looked in awe at the few supplies that were going to Change.My.Life.
I would no longer fear panty hose ripping.  (Well…like I ever did that before……)
I would no longer hide my face in shame at the park when Littlest said, “Mama – your legs are super prickly today.  Way worse than yesterday!”
I would embrace my man sized calves.  I would flaunt my smooth legs.  I would show off my tattoo of gibberish.


I tried it on my Second Eldest Spawn first.   On vacation.  Away from home.  (And from her brother who would have teased her without mercy.)

Yup.  I did that.
 I’m not a coward.  She wanted to shave.  And I think she’s too young.  But she’s on a ball team with girls two years older than she and they all shave.
So she willing sat on a bathroom counter.  I put the warm goo on her legs.  Rubbed the strip on.
And ripped that shit off.
She did it.  She survived.  She didn’t cry.  She said, “By the time I’m 18, my hair should pretty much have gotten the idea to NOT EVER come back!”
We got home from vacay.  I decided it was time.  It was time and if I did that to my kid…..I could do it myself.  I mean, how bad could it really hurt?

It could hurt like a fire filled hole of steaming lava coming up and eating your skin, laughing at you the whole time saying, “SUCKER!!!”.  How the HELL did Eldest Female Spawn not cry?!  Man…I had tears in my eyes.  They didn’t fall.  I held strong.  I remained stoic on the outside since Eldest Female Spawn was watching Scooby Doo and waiting to see what my reaction was.
Then….. after the 87th strip of hair I ripped off my man sized calves…it really didn’t hurt that much.  Or I was so numb to the pain that I was slap happy.  Not sure which, but I didn’t care because it didn’t hurt like the sting of fire ants on your bare feet but alllll over your legs.
And just think….people do this to other areas of their bodies.  Ummmm.   Not today sista.  It hurt my legs that much and my legs are exposed to the elements  - there’s no way I’m waxing parts that don’t see the light of day.  No way in bejebbers.
But…I didn’t have to shave much for 3 weeks.  (only those random areas I realized I missed…you know – the 1/8th inch strip up the inside of your knee…yeah…that part.)
And…it’s almost time.  To once again.  Willingly.
Rip. My. Hair. Out. Of. My. Skin.

EJ out – to put on pants to hide my 10am leg hair shadow.

Twitter @eviljoyspeaks
Pinterest @EvilJoy
Evil Joy on Google+

Joy is a wife, mother, and general comic relief to those who know her.  She spends her days carting around her four children she loving refers to as spawn while trying to maintain a small shred of sanity.  Often funny, sometimes serious, she has a unique view on life.  Come along and see what life is like on the Evil side of things.  


  1. Love the way you used your eldest child to test-out the sticky strips!

    Hair removal sounds a grueling (and excruciating) task. Maybe the nearest thing to it (from a male perspective) is trying to sculpt my budgie-smuggler line with the trimmer of my Braun electric shaver!

  2. Thank goodness my hair is not thick... I just couldn't handle this... lol... If this was the only way to remove hair... I'd let it grow long and braid it first... haha

    I winced audibly think how painful it sounded and no way would I wax things that don't see the light of ... owe

    Have a great day :-)

  3. I now know where the "Evil" part of your name comes from! I can't believe you tested it on your daughter first.That's genius! Thanks for the good laugh this morning. I too am a woman with an all-over 5 o'clock shadow. But you've scared the living daylights out of me. Like the Epilady, I think I'm going to have to pass on this one!

  4. Isn't that WHY we had children in the first place?

    I applaud your bravery, I have never tried the whole hot wax/ripping flesh technique before and after reading this, I think I'll stick to my razor.

    GREAT POST!!!!

  5. I feel your pain, sistah, although I don't have super hairy legs - I do have to get my lip/brow/soulpatch (<<that's what I call that area just under your bottom lip) waxed every few weeks, and even though I've been doing it for over a decade - it still hurts like shit! I cannot imagine doing my legs - OUCH.

    All my body hair is blonde so I'm lucky there, but in the summer that shit glows like fairy dust on my face! UGH.

    I've actually tried NADS before and it works really well. They now make wax strips already coated in wax which is BRILLZ and much less messy, but the strips are small so it's only idea for facial hair. I thought I'd keep them for those emergency hairs in between trips to my waxer lady.

  6. I don't know if I would try these myself. And FYI, there are other places that get grey after your head hair starts, just sayin. Hey, she wanted to shave right?? Very funny post!

  7. What a fun writer Joy is. She has a wonderful sense of humor.

  8. My daughter would have wanted to test it too. I have a horror story with wax, and I've since willingly opted to spend the rest of my life using only a razor. :)

  9. Yes I do have the same problem with hairiness. I too get the 10am shadow. I haven't been brave enough to try wax yet but I think I might try now. I really enjoyed this post and I like the photographic evidence. What an ordeal. Thanks



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