Friday, May 15, 2015

Eight Things I Never Knew About Having Adult Children

     I remember the day I dropped my oldest child off for his first day of kindergarten. Once the teacher smiled politely, waved goodbye and shut the door, I rounded the corner and sobbed. My baby boy was growing up too fast.

     Fast forward to his college years. It was deja vu all over again when my husband and I hugged him goodbye and drove away from the dormitory that was to be his new home. Once we were out of view, I curled up in the fetal position on the passenger side of the car and cried during the entire trip back home.

     I survived all those years my son was gone, and went through it again with my oldest daughter when she picked a school several hours from home. But I was prepared, and by the time she left for college, I was a seasoned veteran of parenting long-distance. Fortunately, my two younger children chose to stay local, which spared me another round of emotional goodbyes from the steps of a college dorm.

     Now that I have all four of my offspring living nearby, I've noticed not only a stronger bond between us, but a few subtle idiosyncrasies that no one warned me about once my baby chicks grew up and flew the coop. I was surprised to learn the following about my adult children:

* My kids still believe dear old Mom and Dad have only had sex four times in their life---once for each kid. There's something to be said about living in a state of denial.

* They expect us to babysit their pets whenever they go out of town. Good thing none of them own a six foot python, otherwise we'd have a problem.

* Even though they have washing machines down the hall in their apartment buildings, they prefer to haul an industrial size bag of dirty clothes to our house, especially if they're fresh out of quarters.

*They're convinced that we have gold bars buried in the backyard and that we cash them out from time to time to afford our monthly beer budget. The rest, they are certain, will be liquidated to fund our future retirement home on wheels.

* The first thing they do when they walk in our door is head straight for the refrigerator. We might as well hang a neon sign above it that says, FREE FOOD. Same goes for our supply of toilet paper and paper towels.

*They never keep a stash of envelopes or stamps, and will pass by the post office next to their home in favor of driving the extra five miles to our house to borrow one of each.

*Even though they know how to wash and wax a car, they still bribe their father to clean their vehicles with the promise of a bottle of Jameson whiskey.

*On the rare occasions that we get an invite to their apartments for dinner, we have yet to eat a meal off of anything other than paper plates. At least they use real silverware. Have you ever tried cutting a steak with a plastic knife and fork?



     The best part of having adult children is the friendship we share. The door is always open and the fridge is well stocked for their impromptu visits.

     Little do they know that we really ARE saving up for that retirement on wheels….and the day we leave, I'm taking all the toilet paper and paper towels with me.  




43 comments:

  1. Cute post Marcia! You and Mac have to know you have done something right! You have the most amazing, funny, loving, considerate, polite, children I have ever met! I loved them as young children but as young adults I adore them....Bravo for raising four wonderful children!!! JB

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    1. Awwww…thank you so much! They love you, too!!

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  2. Both my children, in their early twenties, still live at home with me. I joke about being an empty nester but I know it will be hard. Relationships with older children are great and I enjoy the time we spend together when they are actually here and not using my house as a bed and breakfast!

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    1. Right?? I have one who still lives here---the other three live nearby. But the one who lives here is VERY messy. It has gotten to the point where I just close his bedroom door so that I don't have to look at the results of a tornado hit every day.

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  3. yes, but JAMESONS!! lol.
    I have my son still with us (26) but my girls have moved out. I still see them all the time, though, and get my granddaughter on Sundays. :) It's just enough. Cute post, and al of it true.

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    1. Isn't it great having them all nearby? Despite the messes and missing food, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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  4. Enjoyed this little insight into your family - my kids are long gone and don't live close by. Just think what it will be like for you when you are in the fifth wheel and the grandkids come to visit

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    1. Ha-ha! My husband says that when we retire, he is changing our cell phone numbers and not telling anyone where we are so they can't crash our vacation spots.

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  5. :) There will be no pet sitting in my future, but my washer and dryer will always be available

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    1. Better start stocking up on loads of detergent, too! :)

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  6. AW!!! I just love how close you are with your 'adult' children, Marcia!!! I hope and pray I am that close with my kiddos when they grow up too!

    I suppose we should start investing on TP and Beer and food now?

    TOO funny!!

    My heart just swooned over how you described 'letting go'... oh you are such a beautiful mom!!

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    1. Awww Chris, yo always say the sweeties things Thank you! I just KNOW you will be super close to your kids when they are older because you are an amazing mother!!

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  7. We are blessed to have five of our six right here in the same town. All but two of my grandchildren are, quite literally, seconds away. I'm enjoying these years more than I can say. But ditto to all of the above. What is it with toilet paper and paper towels?

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    1. You are blessed---that's wonderful! And yes---I don't get why they can't buy their own dang toilet paper and paper towels!!

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  8. ooh! Love your retirement plans!!
    How lovely to have your kids stay close by! I can only hope!!

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    1. I'm excited to hop in the RV and cruise the U.S. with my hubs!

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  9. I had to laugh because you just described what goes on in my home. Some head directly to the fridge, others hit the cookie jar which is usually full and I don't even eat cookies. Even though I live alone (well, almost) I still cook for six. They all live within a few miles of me. And, I agree with the paper towels and toilet paper--I should just leave a pack by the front door next to the stamps and envelopes lol.

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    1. You are HILARIOUS, Keriann! I should take your advice and just do that! :)

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  10. Not only do my kids walk in the door and head straight for the fridge, but their friends walk in and head straight for my pantry. If those friends ever start bringing their laundry, though, all bets are off. I'm changing the locks.

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  11. You mean to say you're served steak at your children's apartments? Amazing, even if you do have to eat it off paper plates. I can't remember eating anything other than delivered pizza at our son's place.

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    1. Good point! They're all actually pretty good cooks. But then again, I raised a family of foodies…..

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  12. My daughter always goes into my "Costco stash" when she is home to take razor blades, toothbrush refills, dental floss, etc. It's like shopping for "free"...

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    1. Yes! Absolutely the same thing going on here!

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  13. About ten years ago, my parents moved a good 4 1/2 hours away. I really miss having my mom around. We had become the best of shopping friends. And yes, it was nice to be able to drop off a kid for a day or two.

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    1. Awww…that's so sweet! I really do enjoy being with my kids--and when I go out clothes shopping with my girls, it's like spending a day with my best gal pals!

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  14. When you cut the steaks on paper plates, how do you not cut the plate? I have always had trouble with that.
    Also, no one wants to think about the fact that their parents do that kind of thing. They are parents, not people.

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    1. Very true---I certainly never wanted to think of MY parents doing it, either!!!

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  15. LOLLLLLLL.
    you always make me smile, darling!!! :) xxx

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    1. Thank you---hopefully I can continue to make you smile with more hilarity! :)

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  16. I'm stuck on 'steak'. You get steak? There's hope??? Hell I'd eat it with my bare hands if there's steak!

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    1. The older they get, the better your chances of getting steak!

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  17. Although I'm light years (or in our time 9 years) away from my kids going off to college I do get it. But what's more, I can't fight the feeling that not so long ago it was me starting my autonomous life as a student - and that was a blink (otherwise known as 20 years) ago. The problem is, damn it, that I haven't changed much (inside) and I'm still this girl in bunny slippers, wearing paper- curlers in her hair and drinking red wine straight from the bottle! And then I look around and all of the sudden I'm a wife, mum etc. It's so surreal!

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    1. Isn't it crazy? Since mine are all adults, when we go out to dinner or a bar, I forget that I;m a middle-aged woman and that they;re my children---I feel like I'm twenty-something again, just hanging out with close friends! :)

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  18. such a cute post Marcia...I think you and your hubby have done an amazing job of raising your choldren if still love comng home♡

    I would have been by so much sooner but my Bloglovin is acting up and I just got the notification.. (bad Bloglovin')...

    Have a great rest of the week♡

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    1. Awww…no worries, Launna---you are always so sweet about stopping by to leave a comment. Love you! <3

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  19. I so get you on this one, Marcia. My two offspring are 21 and 24 and are still regularly knocking on the door of the bank of mum & dad. Neat post. Take care.

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  22. I have done ALL of these things to my parents!! I love my mom's fridge. When I was in college, I would come home and raid it - she had the BEST stuff. Jars of olives!! And we still steal toilet paper. Parents are the best. I love mine so much!

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    1. OMG too funny-----my daughter steals our toilet paper and paper towels. All. The. Time. That's okay---I usually load them up with food every time my kids come over, too!

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