Friday, July 17, 2015

The In-Laws From Hell

 
      When you marry your significant other, there should be something written in the vows about inheriting family baggage. Before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate, some in-laws morph into outlaws who rob you of your newlywed bliss. Like an emotional black hole, these people are notorious for sucking the joy out of every family gathering. Holidays and celebrations bring out their worst side, causing everyone to drink more and spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom.

     Family dynamics change once the in-laws drop their dysfunctional baggage at your doorstep. Although there are plenty of instances of close relationships between in-laws, more often than not there's one who loves to stir the pot and share their cup of misery.

     You know you have a problem if one of your in-laws falls into any of the following categories:

The Attention Seeker:

Everything in their life is far more stressful (and important) than yours. They work longer hours, have busier schedules and no time to relax. Warning: If you are a stay-at-home-mom, this type of in-law believes you do nothing all day but watch trashy talk shows and eat bonbons in-between naps.

The Drama Queen:

These people thrive on family drama. They're usually unhappy, insecure, pushy people who enjoy dragging you down their emotional rabbit hole. Grab a chair, because whatever stunt they pull at the next family function is sure to rival any episode of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey.

The Overbearing Matriarch:

This MIL or FIL feels that their precious offspring could have married someone better. Your housekeeping and parenting skills will never measure up to their royal standards. You and your kin will always be considered surfs in their kingdom. Don't bother polishing any crowns because chances are you'll never wear one.

The Gossiper:

These parasitic in-laws are worse than any flu bug that could inhabit your intestines. They suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and love to watch the shit hit the fan when they talk crap about you to vulnerable family members easily manipulated by their crock of dung. Poo Pourri will never be necessary for these people because they're convinced their shit doesn't stink.

The Competitor:

Like a territorial alley cat, this in-law treats you like an intruder and feels they can best you at anything. They turn everything into a competition, making sure you're aware they live in a better neighborhood, own a larger home, drive the most expensive vehicle and have perfect children with IQ's off the charts. They brag about salaries, vacations, new wardrobes, weight loss and their child's latest report card. While they're busy reminding you how beautiful and special they are, just remember they're doing their best to mask the insecurities that fester inside them.

     In the old wild west, they used to shoot outlaws. In today's society, the only ammo you have is patience, understanding and forgiveness.

     I vote we step back in time.





***Want more MENO MAMA? This week I was honored to be featured on Project Underblog where I'm confessing to all the little white lies women tell themselves. You can read it here: http://projectunderblog.com/little-white-lies-women-tell/

51 comments:

  1. Omgosh you just described my dad's family. I don't know how my mother made it all those years. Seriously his mom was BAD (RIP). She was manipulative, a drama queen, just plain old evil....and sneaky. Super sneaky.
    And I look just like her when she was young.....so there's that.
    Anyhoo, this was funny and SOOO true.

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    1. As long as you don't act like her, you'll be fine, PugWife! And I know you are a sweetie because…PUGS!!!

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    2. Isn't she funny, Mithra?!? LOL!

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  2. Ha ha made me laugh. I'm pretty fortunate with my in-laws, but I can recognise characteristics for both sides of the family! Thanks for making me smile. Sammie http://www.feastingisfun.com

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    1. Thanks, Sammie! Glad I coud make you smile today!

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  3. How about the "Enabler" in laws who cater to the "Bad Seed" sociopathic jail bird brother in law? Oh yea, that's a real treat!

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    1. Oh lordy! Not sure I could handle THAT one!

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  4. My ex-family were/are demanding, controlling and manipulating. It has taken me years to remove them from my life. Now with my kids old enough that they get to decide what their relationship with the various members will be I am no longer obligated to help facilitate their participation in family events. I wish them no harm but I just can't be a part of that circus.

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    1. You are smart to steer clear and I'm glad you don't have to deal with them anymore. I have done the same---just cut them loose from my life because I don't need that negative sh** around me.

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  5. Perhaps I could send this to mine… Anonymously? :-)

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  6. I have an overbearing MIL and it drives me insane!!! There are days I just want to delete her out of my phone and off social media!

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    1. That really is a tough one to deal with, especially if your spouse is close to her.

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  7. I've been fairly lucky in that ... but not so sure my own mom was always the best MIL to my sister in law.

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  8. I was nodding my head all the way through. I've been married for 24 years and my husband came from a huge family (12 kids) and the MIL from hell! I'm pretty sure she would have scared Hitler!

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    1. And you are one of the sweetest people I've "met" on the internet. I can't imagine anyone not liking you, Rena! I think you are FABULOUS!

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  9. Lol this was an awesome post. I honestly am so blessed to have a great in law. Actually my previous husband who passed had an amazing mom and loves my current husband and calls him her son. I have loved not knowing what it's like to have crazy in laws. I can imagine it's a journey lol

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  10. What a gold mine of a topic. You, Jane Austen, and everyone with a face can relate to the horrors and evils of "outlaws". UGH. I'm getting gurgles in my stomach region just thinking on this.

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    1. Hahahaha Mithra! I agree---pretty much everyone has some sort of in-law horror story. Can't we all just "get along?" :)

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  11. With all the man-bashing that goes on today (much well deserved) I feel compelled to point out that the in-law from hell is almost never a man. I've had three sets of in-laws, and it was always the mom or a sister that brought the drama.

    You have accurately portrayed most in-law issues.

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    1. SOOOOO TRUE, Joeh! My hubs and I habe discussed this at length---it's almost always a woman in these cases. Too many drama queens, I think.

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  12. I escaped all that. Loved my in-laws as dearly as my own family and would give anything to bring them back. They were perfect grand parents to my children as well.

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    1. My MIL was as sweet as can be---I too, was lucky in that sense. But I only got to meet my FIL once before he died.

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  13. I recognize many of these characters in my own family LOL. Now that I'm divorced former in-laws treat me like the out-law. I wrote about that on my blog. This is the only other post I've seen where in-laws are referred to as out-laws. Love it!!

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  14. OMGGGG....What if all those qualities are found in one single person??? Can you even imagine how the DIL's life is going to be? That is my sister's MIL. A living witch who can make anyone's life a night mare. Touch wood, my MIL is a lotttt better than many of them out there. I know living together is different, but still.

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    1. Yikes! Your sister has my sympathies…..her MIL sounds terrifying!

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  15. When it comes to in-laws from hell I HAVE YOU BEAT. And 2 of my sisters-in-law? Don't get me started. . .

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    1. Oh girl, we need to talk. I know exactly what you mean---same thing here! One of these days we need to swap SIL stories! :)

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  16. HAaaaa.
    We all have our NUTS in our families!!!
    Except in my family! Just kidding.
    Mr. L. says we are LOUD & Obnoxious! xxx
    As always, thanks for the giggle.

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  17. You nailed it with this one! Because of my own experiences, and oh, I have many, I vowed to be a MIL my kids' spouses would love! So far so good!

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    1. You are such a sweet person, Theresa, I'm not surprised they all love you!

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  18. What if you have all of these glorious qualities rolled up into one very delightful in-law?! I guess I'm just lucky. :)

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  19. Great post!
    Have a nice week end!
    Photographer Gil Zetbase
    http://www.gilzetbase.com/

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  20. I have only had one mother/father in law, they don't live near by... however; they actually thought I was too good for their son... I was... :) ... I have heard the nightmares of my friends though, the family they have to deal with, I am with you, we need to step back in time. I am a pretty good mother in law... I adore my son in law ... he is pretty wonderful xox

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    1. No doubt you are an awesome MIL---you are kind-hearted. Your son-in-law is lucky to have you!

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  21. In-laws, and family in general, certainly add a layer of complexity. I think it is fair to say that when you are "young and in love," you aren't thinking about what the future family dynamic will be. Forgiveness and patience do go a long way. And some healthy boundaries. Just sayin'.

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  22. I must have lucked out because my in-laws are pretty cool. Not to brag.....

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  23. HAHA my husband's mother was in the Overbearing category but his step mom is awesome. Also his ex-wife? Competitor AND drama queen. Sadly, they had a kid together so I have to deal with her a lot. Gah. Funny post, Marcia!

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    1. Thanks, Kristi! Sounds like you have your hands full over there…..

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  24. Marcia, I felt there was a lot emotional energy put into that post - particularly regarding the 'gossiper'?

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    1. Your instincts are dead on, my friend. Doesn't every family have a member who is a shit stirrer? Like I said, we need to go back to the ways of the old west…...

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  25. You described my former mother-in-law perfectly. When I signed my divorce papers, my first thought was no more MIL from hell! I tell my sons how lucky their future spouses will be to have me as a MIL. I know what NOT to do! :)

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