When you marry your significant other,
there should be something written in the vows about inheriting family
baggage. Before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate, some
in-laws morph into outlaws who rob you of your newlywed bliss. Like
an emotional black hole, these people are notorious for sucking the
joy out of every family gathering. Holidays and celebrations bring
out their worst side, causing everyone to drink more and spend an
inordinate amount of time in the bathroom.
Family dynamics change once the
in-laws drop their dysfunctional baggage at your doorstep. Although
there are plenty of instances of close relationships between in-laws,
more often than not there's one who loves to stir the pot and share
their cup of misery.
You know you have a problem if one
of your in-laws falls into any of the following categories:
The Attention Seeker:
Everything in their life is far
more stressful (and important) than yours. They work longer hours,
have busier schedules and no time to relax. Warning: If you are a
stay-at-home-mom, this type of in-law believes you do nothing all day
but watch trashy talk shows and eat bonbons in-between naps.
The Drama Queen:
These people thrive on family
drama. They're usually unhappy, insecure, pushy people who enjoy
dragging you down their emotional rabbit hole. Grab a chair, because
whatever stunt they pull at the next family function is sure to rival
any episode of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey.
The Overbearing Matriarch:
This MIL or FIL feels that their
precious offspring could have married someone better. Your
housekeeping and parenting skills will never measure up to their
royal standards. You and your kin will always be considered surfs in
their kingdom. Don't bother polishing any crowns because chances are
you'll never wear one.
The Gossiper:
These parasitic in-laws are worse
than any flu bug that could inhabit your intestines. They suffer from
diarrhea of the mouth and love to watch the shit hit the fan when
they talk crap about you to vulnerable family members easily
manipulated by their crock of dung. Poo Pourri will never be
necessary for these people because they're convinced their shit
doesn't stink.
The Competitor:
Like a territorial alley cat, this
in-law treats you like an intruder and feels they can best you at
anything. They turn everything into a competition, making sure you're
aware they live in a better neighborhood, own a larger home, drive
the most expensive vehicle and have perfect children with IQ's off
the charts. They brag about salaries, vacations, new wardrobes,
weight loss and their child's latest report card. While they're busy
reminding you how beautiful and special they are, just remember
they're doing their best to mask the insecurities that fester inside
them.
In the old wild west, they used to
shoot outlaws. In today's society, the only ammo you have is
patience, understanding and forgiveness.
***Want more MENO MAMA? This week I was honored to be featured on Project Underblog where I'm confessing to all the little white lies women tell themselves. You can read it here: http://projectunderblog.com/little-white-lies-women-tell/
Omgosh you just described my dad's family. I don't know how my mother made it all those years. Seriously his mom was BAD (RIP). She was manipulative, a drama queen, just plain old evil....and sneaky. Super sneaky.
ReplyDeleteAnd I look just like her when she was young.....so there's that.
Anyhoo, this was funny and SOOO true.
That was funny!
DeleteAs long as you don't act like her, you'll be fine, PugWife! And I know you are a sweetie because…PUGS!!!
DeleteIsn't she funny, Mithra?!? LOL!
DeleteHa ha made me laugh. I'm pretty fortunate with my in-laws, but I can recognise characteristics for both sides of the family! Thanks for making me smile. Sammie http://www.feastingisfun.com
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sammie! Glad I coud make you smile today!
DeleteHow about the "Enabler" in laws who cater to the "Bad Seed" sociopathic jail bird brother in law? Oh yea, that's a real treat!
ReplyDeleteOh lordy! Not sure I could handle THAT one!
DeleteMy ex-family were/are demanding, controlling and manipulating. It has taken me years to remove them from my life. Now with my kids old enough that they get to decide what their relationship with the various members will be I am no longer obligated to help facilitate their participation in family events. I wish them no harm but I just can't be a part of that circus.
ReplyDeleteYou are smart to steer clear and I'm glad you don't have to deal with them anymore. I have done the same---just cut them loose from my life because I don't need that negative sh** around me.
DeletePerhaps I could send this to mine… Anonymously? :-)
ReplyDeleteHa-ha!!! DARE YA!!!
DeleteI have an overbearing MIL and it drives me insane!!! There are days I just want to delete her out of my phone and off social media!
ReplyDeleteThat really is a tough one to deal with, especially if your spouse is close to her.
DeleteI've been fairly lucky in that ... but not so sure my own mom was always the best MIL to my sister in law.
ReplyDeleteYikes! Well, let's hope….
DeleteI was nodding my head all the way through. I've been married for 24 years and my husband came from a huge family (12 kids) and the MIL from hell! I'm pretty sure she would have scared Hitler!
ReplyDeleteAnd you are one of the sweetest people I've "met" on the internet. I can't imagine anyone not liking you, Rena! I think you are FABULOUS!
DeleteLol this was an awesome post. I honestly am so blessed to have a great in law. Actually my previous husband who passed had an amazing mom and loves my current husband and calls him her son. I have loved not knowing what it's like to have crazy in laws. I can imagine it's a journey lol
ReplyDeleteYou are a very, VERY lucky lady!
DeleteWhat a gold mine of a topic. You, Jane Austen, and everyone with a face can relate to the horrors and evils of "outlaws". UGH. I'm getting gurgles in my stomach region just thinking on this.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha Mithra! I agree---pretty much everyone has some sort of in-law horror story. Can't we all just "get along?" :)
DeleteWith all the man-bashing that goes on today (much well deserved) I feel compelled to point out that the in-law from hell is almost never a man. I've had three sets of in-laws, and it was always the mom or a sister that brought the drama.
ReplyDeleteYou have accurately portrayed most in-law issues.
SOOOOO TRUE, Joeh! My hubs and I habe discussed this at length---it's almost always a woman in these cases. Too many drama queens, I think.
DeleteI escaped all that. Loved my in-laws as dearly as my own family and would give anything to bring them back. They were perfect grand parents to my children as well.
ReplyDeleteMy MIL was as sweet as can be---I too, was lucky in that sense. But I only got to meet my FIL once before he died.
DeleteI recognize many of these characters in my own family LOL. Now that I'm divorced former in-laws treat me like the out-law. I wrote about that on my blog. This is the only other post I've seen where in-laws are referred to as out-laws. Love it!!
ReplyDeleteThat is AWESOME!! Like minds, right??
DeleteOMGGGG....What if all those qualities are found in one single person??? Can you even imagine how the DIL's life is going to be? That is my sister's MIL. A living witch who can make anyone's life a night mare. Touch wood, my MIL is a lotttt better than many of them out there. I know living together is different, but still.
ReplyDeleteYikes! Your sister has my sympathies…..her MIL sounds terrifying!
DeleteWhen it comes to in-laws from hell I HAVE YOU BEAT. And 2 of my sisters-in-law? Don't get me started. . .
ReplyDeleteOh girl, we need to talk. I know exactly what you mean---same thing here! One of these days we need to swap SIL stories! :)
DeleteHAaaaa.
ReplyDeleteWe all have our NUTS in our families!!!
Except in my family! Just kidding.
Mr. L. says we are LOUD & Obnoxious! xxx
As always, thanks for the giggle.
LOUD works for me! Love ya!
DeleteYou nailed it with this one! Because of my own experiences, and oh, I have many, I vowed to be a MIL my kids' spouses would love! So far so good!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a sweet person, Theresa, I'm not surprised they all love you!
DeleteWhat if you have all of these glorious qualities rolled up into one very delightful in-law?! I guess I'm just lucky. :)
ReplyDeleteYikes! That really would be hell!
DeleteI have only had one mother/father in law, they don't live near by... however; they actually thought I was too good for their son... I was... :) ... I have heard the nightmares of my friends though, the family they have to deal with, I am with you, we need to step back in time. I am a pretty good mother in law... I adore my son in law ... he is pretty wonderful xox
ReplyDeleteNo doubt you are an awesome MIL---you are kind-hearted. Your son-in-law is lucky to have you!
DeleteIn-laws, and family in general, certainly add a layer of complexity. I think it is fair to say that when you are "young and in love," you aren't thinking about what the future family dynamic will be. Forgiveness and patience do go a long way. And some healthy boundaries. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteVERY heathy boundaries, ha-ha!
DeleteThanks for stopping by, Gil!
ReplyDeleteI must have lucked out because my in-laws are pretty cool. Not to brag.....
ReplyDeleteYou are very, VERY lucky!
DeleteHAHA my husband's mother was in the Overbearing category but his step mom is awesome. Also his ex-wife? Competitor AND drama queen. Sadly, they had a kid together so I have to deal with her a lot. Gah. Funny post, Marcia!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kristi! Sounds like you have your hands full over there…..
DeleteMarcia, I felt there was a lot emotional energy put into that post - particularly regarding the 'gossiper'?
ReplyDeleteYour instincts are dead on, my friend. Doesn't every family have a member who is a shit stirrer? Like I said, we need to go back to the ways of the old west…...
DeleteYou described my former mother-in-law perfectly. When I signed my divorce papers, my first thought was no more MIL from hell! I tell my sons how lucky their future spouses will be to have me as a MIL. I know what NOT to do! :)
ReplyDelete