There are days when I feel like I'm living with lunatics, but let's be honest---life would be pretty dull around here if I didn't have my crazy family around to give me the inspiration for my blog posts. Here are a few snippets of conversation that were floating around my house this week. Yeah, I know…the fly is shaking his head at me, too.
"I can't sleep. I'm thinking about coleslaw."
"You're hungry?"
"No, I just wanna know why it's called 'Coleslaw' instead of 'Coldslaw.'
"You woke me at 2:00 a.m. to ask me about coleslaw??"
"Yeah, because it's bothering me."
"I have the answer. It's called GOOGLE."
"Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it."
"Yes, you left it at the hospital after the last kid was born."
"That dog turns into a piranha pug when she sleeps in our bed. If you accidentally bump into her, she snaps. I'm too afraid to reach down and grab the covers because I might lose a limb and end up with nothing but a stub for an arm."
"I'm fat."
"I'm chafed."
"That sounds like a law firm to me. 'Got into an auto accident? Call Fat and Chafin.' Injury at work? Call the lawyers at Fat and Chafin'….. 1-800-CHUBS.'"
"Shopping at a discount grocery store that has potato chips in the same aisle with dairy products is like having an enema without the tube. Nothing is in the right place."
"Why aren't you dancing?"
"Because I need to poop, and I'm afraid if I jiggle too hard, something is going to fall out."
"The folds of fat on my body have a dual purpose. They serve as a storage shelf for peanut M&Ms. Melt in your mouth, not in your fat fold."
"Forget calling that wedding picture you just posted on your Facebook wall as your 'Throw Back Thursday' photo. That picture should be called your 'Throw Back to the Jurassic Era photo'."
And that, folks, is just another day in the lunatic house that I call home.
***WANT MORE MENO MAMA??? Just like the fly, I've been buzzing around a lot of different websites this week, sharing the funny. Here is where you can catch more of my nonsense:
*VIBRANT NATION: A Mother's Advice To Her Son On The Eve Of His Departure For College http://www.vibrantnation.com/groups/other-topics/blog/a-mothers-advice-to-her-son-on-the-eve-of-his-departure-for-college/
*SAMMICHES & PSYCH MEDS: 8 People I Love To Hate At The Gym http://www.sammichespsychmeds.com/8-people-i-love-to-hate-…/
*TEN TO TWENTY PARENTING: 6 Good Things About Raising Teen Boys http://tentotwenty.com/6-good-things-about-raising-teen-boys/
*DAM BLOGGERS: A Mother's Advice To Her Son On The Eve Of His Departure For College: http://dambloggers.com/a-mothers-advice-to-her-son-on-the-eve-of-his-departure-for-college/
*THE GLASS HOUSE GIRLS: **The sequel to the boys, this one is "A Letter To My Daughter On The Eve Of Her Departure For College: http://theglasshousegirls.com/articles/the-living-room/a-letter-to-my-daughter.html
<<<<IN OTHER NEWS>>>> My book, "Who Stole My Spandex?" is going to be reprinted---a second edition---which was picked up by the publishing house Booktrope!! I'm over the moon happy about this----it's something I've been hoping would happen for a long time. I'm looking forward to this next step as a writer and will post updates as we ride along on this crazy and wonderful publishing journey. Thank you ALL for the love and support you have given me. Meno Mama would not exist without you!! <<HUGS>>
Please stop by and read all the funny Fly On The Wall posts by my sisters in humor:
htt http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me homehttp://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Never Ever Give Up Hope
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/ Just A Little Nutty
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://www.angelaweight.com Sanity Waiting to Happen
http://www.southernbellecharm.com Southern Belle Charm
http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity
http://www.juiceboxconfession.com Juicebox Confession
http://www.gomamao.com Go Mama O
http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
congrats on our book!!!! OMG...those pics, especially the one with the middle finger...I can't stop laughing. I'd pour coleslaw on hubby if he ever wok me up to ask that.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm going to have to remember to do that next time it happens, LOL!
DeleteLOL! Love these.
ReplyDeleteEspecially that law firm name.
That's my hub's thought process right there.
DeleteHahaha! i want to be your fly! Can I move in when that last egg rolls out? (Just looked at this comment out of context-hmmmm) -Veronica
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Yes, there is always room for one more in the lunatic house!
DeleteIf your killer pug actually does some damage, I highly recommend the firm of Fat and Chafin'. (lb. not LLB)
ReplyDeleteLOL good point!
DeleteGotta watch those pugs..........
ReplyDeleteI need a lawyer. think I'll give Fat and Chafin a call.
They can be piranhas for sure!
DeleteI know I've said this before, but I WANNA COME LIVE WITH YOU GUYS!!!
ReplyDeleteSO much fun going on over there! LOVE those quotes. And the pictures say it all... :)
A bunch of lunatics they are but I would LOVE to have you come visit me!!!
DeleteCongratulations on that book deal, although you're so funny and such a good writer that it's hard to believe any publisher would not want to work with you.
ReplyDeleteAwwww…thank you so much, Stephen---I appreciate it! XO
DeleteLOLOLOL to "I have the answer and it's called Google!!" HA! also Cold Slaw does make more sense, really :)
ReplyDeleteRight???
DeleteLol! What a great post!!!
ReplyDeleteBetty
http://vodkaandimpropriety.com
We like to have fun :)
DeleteThanks for the laughs. Makes me feel like I'm at a family reunion (I moved away a few hrs ago)
ReplyDeleteHa-ha! Stop by for a visit any time!
DeleteThrowing up with a mouth guard -- thanks for the image that will be hard to erase!! Big congrats on your book!
ReplyDeleteGross, I know. It really was. Thanks about the book---very excited!
DeleteCongratulations on the reprint of your book! That is absolutely wonderful news! The last photo of yours reminds me what life is all about. Crazy, hilarious, and crowded. What more could you ask for? That, and the meaning of coleslaw. LOL. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michele!! I love the crazy, crowded and hilarious. That pretty much sums up my life. Love you! <3
DeleteThe wedding photo being from the Jurassi period... how sweet... not, lol, their time will come xox
DeleteReally coleslaw or coldslaw... you are nicer then me... I rarely sleep so I wouldn't want to be woke up for a silly question. Haha
A huge congratulations on your book going into a second printing Marcia... woo hoo xox ♡
Thanks, Launna! I'm very excited about a second edition!
DeleteCongrats, funny woman!
ReplyDeleteGosh, you'd be fun to drink wine with!! xx
Door is open---come on over!!
DeleteI think my house is "dullsville" compared to yours. My daughter and I used to joke that a reality show on our lives would be terribly boring: she sitting and studying, me organizing. The most exciting thing we had going on was dog antics, but she died last March, so now it is JUST TOO QUIET.
ReplyDeleteTime for another puppy!
DeleteThat fly must be having such a blast! Or maybe it's completely lost its mind, LOL! This was such a fun read, especially on a Monday! Thanks for perking me up, Marcia!
ReplyDeleteThank you Joy---glad I could deliver a smile to your day! :)
DeleteI always love these posts of yours! I always know it's going to be hilarious! You didn't let me down!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could take credit for these posts but really, it's all just the recorded words from my family when they don't see me off in a corner, feverishly writing down their comments…..
DeleteThat question about the coleslaw has kept me up at night too. I don't know why I didn't think to google it either. And throwing up while wearing a mouthguard? Ew.
ReplyDeleteHa-ha!! Disgusting, isn;t it? Leave it to me to say something no one else EVER wants to think about.
DeleteI always, always, ALWAYS love your Fly on the Wall posts! And I totally agree with the mouth guard sentiment...GROSS!
ReplyDeleteIt really was disgusting….
DeleteI think that law office would be one for me! Thanks for sharing your nutty family with everyone.
ReplyDeleteI would be first in line if such a place existed, ha-ha!
DeleteI know exactly what you mean about the dog in the bed :)
ReplyDeleteRight??? Can't disturb them when they are in a deep sleep!
DeleteNever a dull moment, as per usual! Now I'm off to investigate the origin of the word 'coleslaw', otherwise I won't be able to sleep tonight
ReplyDeleteIf you find out why it has that name, let me know so that I can sleep!
Delete1800CHUBS... ha!
ReplyDeleteMy husband always comes up with the weirdest comments….
DeleteHaha these are some crazy conversations. I feel like I would be that person waking up Kyle and asking him about coleslaw.
ReplyDeleteliz jo @ sundays with sophie
Too funny! I sleep like a rock once my head hits the pillow, but the Hubs always has these weird ideas and questions in the middle of the night.
Delete