Friday, May 19, 2017

Fly On The Wall In The Old Folk's Home


     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, nine bloggers are inviting you into their homes for a glimpse of what you would see and hear behind closed doors.

     When I participate in these Fly On The Wall posts, most of the comments I share come from my husband, who certainly has a way with words. His quick wit is what attracted me to him in the first place. Sort of like flies to honey (see what I did there?). He had some zingers this past month, and I've been grabbing my pen and pad every time he says one of his off-the-wall comments.



"I have my own floatation device in the pool----it's called an 'inner tube waistline'."

"You know you're getting old when you have to keep floss in every room."

"I forgot to shower and my armpits smell like tacos. I've sniffed them so many times today that now I'm craving Taco Bell."


"I just got carded. But not for looking under 21. The clerk wanted to know if I was entitled to the senior citizen's discount."

"My food traps are so bad, I need a pressure cleaner to get the extra food out of my molars."

"Ancestry.com has a package deal on sale today. You should get one so we can finally find out what your DNA is."
"No thanks. I'm too afraid to find out that I might be kin to a schnauzer."

"I picked up the bedroom furniture you ordered. It's the wrong size."
"What do you mean? I bought a dresser and two end tables."
"The furniture is for a baby's room. The drawers wouldn't even hold a stack of onesies, let alone my t-shirts."
"I'm not sending it back. We just have to make it work."
"Then you can forget about filling it with adult diapers when you're old. And don't be surprised if the nightstands come with baby bottle holders."

"THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 21 AND 61: AT 21, YOU'RE FULL OF ENERGY AND EXUBERANCE. AT 61, YOU'RE LEFT HOLDING A BAG OF LEFTOVERS"


"I just don't feel attractive anymore. My skin is as saggy and wrinkly as an elephant's, and no one wants to f#@k an elephant."

"Male UTIs are the worst. It feels as if someone put a cattle prod up my urethra."


"Why do you always attract so many mosquitos? They're swarming all over you."
"Because my DNA is made up of 40% crap."

"I look so old----people probably mistake me for the grim reaper."

"Our favorite doctor is no longer on our insurance plan. I really need to get an endoscopy for my esophagus, but with my luck, I'll be sent to a doctor named 'One Tooth Fred' who'll put the tube up the wrong orifice."


 
    Is it any wonder why I've been married to this guy for 33 years? He keeps me laughing, and laughter keeps us both young. It's a win-win situation. I think I'll keep him.


Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

Baking In A Tornado                  http://www.BakingInATornado.com
Menopausal Mother                     http://www.menopausalmom.com/
Searching for Sanity                 http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com
Eileen’s Perpetually Busy            http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/  
Spatulas on Parade                    http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/
A Little Piece of Peace                 http://little-piece-of-peace.blogspot.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope                   http://batteredhope.blogspot.com
Bookworm in the Kitchen                http://www.bookwormkitchen.com /   
Not That Sarah Michelle                  http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com                                   

24 comments:

  1. My guess is that you record all his sayings to use them each month, right? What fun that would be to have them all on record or do you have an incredible memory to remember them all?

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    1. Are you kidding? I've killed so many brain cells over the years that I absolutely MUST write EVERYTHING down. I carry a pen and pad every where I go!!

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  2. Your husband is hysterical, I can see why you keep him around! I think funny husbands are the reason Fly on the Wall keeps on going.

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    1. I don't think I would even have a blog if I didn't have my husband. He's the funny man behind everything I write <3

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  3. He sounds like a keeper! I love tattling on my husband. Some people (without humor genes)act like that's disrespectful, but the things he says and does makes me laugh. And that's worth sharing! Your guy will keep you in material forever.

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    1. I agree. Isn't that what husbands are for??

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  4. Just love your hubby's wit! These posts are so fun! Humor is the backbone of a happy marriage in my opinion. Also, if you're with someone who doesn't get your humor? Not likely to last...Have a great weekend, Marcia!

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    1. Soooo true! I Am blessed to be married to a comedian!

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  5. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I love your family. You guys are so awesome and if I'm ever lucky enough to find a love, I pray we have a relationship as fabulous as yours and fun.

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    1. Awwww....thank you so much. You'll find the right man one day, I'm sure of it! And hopefully he will be a man with an awesome sense of humor to keep you smiling every single day!!

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  6. The aging journey is not for the faint of heart - great to maintain a sense of humor. What the heck is the deal with the waistline inner tube anyway?? ARGH...

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    1. Some call it the muffin top but to me, it's an inner tube for sure!!

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  7. You are HILARIOUS. I love you!

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  8. Thank you for making me laugh needed it today

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    1. Awwwww thank you! Hope your day is better!

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  9. LOLLLLLLLLL
    You crack me up!!! xxxx

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  10. I think I laughed more than I should. And weirdly enough, I'm craving Tacos. LOL

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  11. I love these!!! And so many of them could apply to my own household.

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    1. Then I'm betting you have a fun family, too!

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  12. Oh my gosh Marsha, your hubby says whatever he wants and often it is so hilarious... the one about smelling tacos under his armpits and now wanting them for dinner... eww... I don't think I can ever eat tacos again... lol xox

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    1. Ha-Ha he still eats tacos despite the arm pit smell...

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