Friday, April 13, 2018

Things You Will Never Hear Me Say

     My husband accuses me of talking too much, especially when I get together with my gal pals. He might be right, but I swear, there are times when I know to keep quiet. And there are plenty of sentences you will NEVER hear me say. Ever. This would include:

"Can I hold your pet tarantula? He looks so cute and fuzzy."

"I'd like to purchase an airline ticket...."

"Please invite me to your baby shower so that I can watch you open 30 gifts over the course of three hours."

"Of course I'd love to go to a Miami Dolphins football game in 90 degree heat and drink a warm beer with you."


"Keep driving---I don't mind holding my leaky bladder another 50 miles until the next restroom stop."

"I can easily give up wine for Lent."

"We don't have to order dessert after dinner."

"I'd love to go swimsuit shopping!"

"Yes, I ate the entire box of chocolates by myself."

"Nap? I don't need to nap. That's for old people."

"I can give up social media anytime."

"This cabbage soup diet sounds like a lot of fun."

"Sure, invite me to your Essential Oils party."

"A Cross Training program at 5:30 a.m.? Count me in!"

"I don't need under eye concealer."

"Yes, let's stop dying my hair. I'd be thrilled to go natural gray."

"I don't need any more dogs."

"I'd be happy to babysit your rambunctious toddler in the hotel room while you go bar hopping for five hours."

"We should turn the thermostat up to 80 degrees to lower our monthly electric bill. A little sweat won't hurt me."

"I don't need to keep blogging because hey, who has time for humor?"

   
     Humor is EVERYTHING. As Erma Bombeck once said, "When humor goes, there goes civilization." I couldn't agree more. Keep laughing, my friends.


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I was on Her Story this week sharing an article about losing my sister. You can read it here: http://herstryblg.com/true/2018/4/10/soaring-with-eagles I was also featured on Blunt Moms with my aviation traumatization story which you can read here: http://www.bluntmoms.com/why-you-wont-catch-me-on-a-plane/


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31 comments:

  1. LauraEhlersApril 13, 2018 at 8:41 AM

    These are universal truths. Except for that airplane ticket thing. Honey, you gotta get over that one!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaApril 13, 2018 at 8:46 AM

      I know, I know.....but I'm such a phobic wuss.......

      Delete
  2. UnknownApril 13, 2018 at 9:07 AM

    Good ones...but that plane thing...

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Seana MethodApril 13, 2018 at 9:45 AM

    I'm with you on so many of these! Bathing suit shopping.. the worst. I don't like booking travel either. Luckily, my husband could be a travel agent he's so good at it. I'd add, "I'd love to train for that marathon with you," and "Let's party all night."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cerebrations.bizApril 13, 2018 at 10:06 AM

    You stole my list!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Diane Stringam TolleyApril 13, 2018 at 10:39 AM

    With you on all of these. And I know the 'plane' one to a quiver . . .

    ReplyDelete
  6. Candi RandolphApril 13, 2018 at 12:03 PM

    Love it! I can relate to most, although I'm doing quite a bit of flying and have gotten used to the take offs and landings...not so scary for me. I love your humor!

    ReplyDelete
  7. jeremy@thirstydaddyApril 13, 2018 at 12:48 PM

    I dragged my wife to a Dolphins game last Oct and we absolutely melted!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Shirley CorderApril 13, 2018 at 2:39 PM

    Clever way of telling the truth in a roundabout way. Thanks for sharing. A to Z Challenge - L is for Learn Something New!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Karen @BakingInATornado.comApril 13, 2018 at 4:52 PM

    Don't worry about that airline thing, I buy more than my share, enough for both of us.
    One thing I'd never say: "Sure, go ahead and use my bathroom" to the oven installer. Well, I did, but never again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaApril 13, 2018 at 5:26 PM

      Gahhhhhhh! I don't even like letting the plumber in there!

      Delete
  10. Lisa ThomsonApril 13, 2018 at 9:33 PM

    haha, these are perfect, Marcia. You had me laughing the whole way through. "Of course I want to take your mom out on our anniversary." "No, I don't want another glass of wine." and " No, I don't need more time to get ready..." Really? True lies, all of them!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lady In ReadApril 15, 2018 at 7:27 AM

    i was nodding my way through most of your list... and am going to see what else i want to add to my own

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lily LeungApril 15, 2018 at 4:31 PM

    I'm a talker, too. I wouldn't say those things either. But I do talk too much on other stuff. I might change now. :-) Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My Inner ChickApril 16, 2018 at 9:19 AM

    This cabbage soup diet sounds like a lot of fun." LOL
    And the essential oils! I've been invited to several.
    In the midst of whatev, you always make me giggle! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. esterApril 19, 2018 at 9:34 AM

    i mostly love spending summer in nederlands and summer vacations in nederlands called zomervakantie and this zomervakantie 2018 i am going to nederlands.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Found In FolsomApril 19, 2018 at 11:26 PM

    Lmao....Love you mama for the list and the laughter...What a thing to read before sleeping... Gn

    ReplyDelete
  16. Bryan JonesMay 3, 2018 at 7:08 AM

    Loved these - particularly the baby shower & going without wine.

    ReplyDelete

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