Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are inviting you into their home for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.

     Things are starting to warm up a bit here in sunny south Florida. I break out into a sweat within the first 30 seconds of walking my dogs at noon. The heat makes us cranky, and when the folks in my family get cranky, they begin to complain. A lot.

"It's amazing that the leatherback turtle can lay her eggs and then leave them to hatch on their own."
"I wish I could have done that with our four kids during their teen years."

"Welcome back to Florida."
"You mean, welcome back to the steam bake state."

"It's Cinco de Mayo! We should drink margaritas today!"
"I can't---lime juice gives me heartburn..."
"Okay, so order a margarita with a Tums floater on top. "

"If I do this cabbage soup diet for 10 days, our house is going to explode from methane gas."

"I don't know how we're going to find our way out of these woods."
"Don't worry about being lost until you hear a banjo."
"It's either bible thumping or banjo music in these parts."

"This is a really weird county we're driving through. Why is there a random dragon statue on the hill, and what does that say about this town?"

"When you say the house is a 'fixer upper', don't you mean it's a 'fucker upper'?"

"I love it when you imitate a T-Rex."
"Yeah, but it's not fun explaining to the doctor how I got carpal tunnel from doing T-Rex arms."

"Keep sunbathing like that and your skin will look as old as the paper the Constitution was written on."

"My spirit animal is a manatee."

"You know your daughter loves you when she uses her own electric trimmer to help you pluck your eyebrows and your nose hairs."