Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are bravely opening their homes to you so that you can be a "fly on the wall" to see what goes on behind closed doors.

     We're all abuzz over here at the Doyle house prepping for a new baby granddaughter, who is due in a month! Tomorrow we celebrate with a baby shower brunch, and I am beyond excited. I've been to a gazillion showers over the years, but this one will be different for me because it's co-ed! I guess this is what the young moms are doing nowadays. Even the traditional baby shower games have changed ("Bobbing For Bottle Nipples," "Twerking Ping Pong Balls"...say whaaaaa?). I'm giving you fair warning----my next Fly On The Wall post in October will most likely be filled with incriminating photos from this crazy event.


     Most of the conversations that have been going on around my house lately involve my husband's health. He's 62 going on 32, or so he thinks. He has a physically demanding job outdoors, which I'm certain contributes to 99% of his aches and pains, but this hasn't stopped him from slowing down one bit. His nightstand drawer is loaded with a bevy of medication for whatever ails him, and I enjoy nothing more than teasing him about this advanced age when he complains.....

"I'm so tired go being sore when I wake up every morning. Yesterday it was my back. Today it's my hips."
 "Jurassic park called. They're missing one of their dinosaurs."


"I can't sleep right now. Everything aches."
"Is that why you're squinting at me in the dark?"
"No, I'm pretending to be a chipmunk with a bad eye."
"I can't handle your weirdness at 1:00 a.m. Go the f@*k to sleep."
"Be nice or else I'll maul you with my chipmunk paws."

"Are you going to need a taller ladder to reach that shelf?"
"Yeah, I need two more inches."
"That's what she said...."


"I'm playing a video golf game on my iPad and my competitor's name is Fatty Fatkins."
"Then you should probably change your user name to Poopie Poopkins."

"Have you ever noticed that a pug's butt looks like Jesus in a robe with his arms outstretched?"
"And so we shall pray to the almighty pug: Father, Son and the Holy Sphincter."


"My legs are really hurting tonight. I need another blanket."
"You need an amputation."


     I need my husband to stay healthy at least until the new grand baby arrives. After that, I'll be placing a call to Jurassic Park about an idea for a new exhibit......


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I'm up on Pickle Fork this week with a funny post on surviving a hurricane. You can read it here: https://medium.com/pickle-fork/how-to-survive-a-hurricane-in-fifteen-easy-steps-952a879e2b80