Menopausal Mother

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado, Today, 3 bloggers are opening their homes to give you a glimpse of what goes on behind closed doors. 

The nosy fly at my house got a free trip a few weeks ago when we took a much-needed vacation after the crapstastic summer we had. I really needed a break after suffering the loss of my precious pup four months ago. AARP was kind enough to publish my story (which went live while I was on vacation!) about losing Savi and how it triggered the pain of many other losses in my life. I think it is one of the best personal essays I have ever written and I hope you'll take a look at it...but I'll warm you, get out the tissues! This was a rough one to write (you can read it HERE). You'll understand why our vacation came at just the right time. 

Last year I wrote about my first cruise experience in October 2021 and the fun we had with our family. This time, Hubs and I took a romantic five-day cruise of our own to the Caribbean. There were lots of activities on the boat as well as off-shore excursions in the Bahamas. Since I had already gone swimming with dolphins before, I wanted to try something different....like STINGRAYS! Hubs was nervous because all he could think of was Steve Irwin's tragic encounter with a stingray, and he was convinced that he'd suffer the same fate if he dipped his toes in the ocean. But I've always loved stingrays and touching one has been on my bucket list for several years. So you can guess who won THAT argument about our choice of excursion activities.

Overall, the cruise was a blast, but since it was a smaller ship, we were limited as to what we could do onboard. I mean, there were only so many bars we could visit in a day.....and since we aren't gamblers (i.e we SUCK at it), we spent the majority of our time sitting by the pool with martinis in our hands. 

I did participate in some fun dance classes---a Hip Hop one and a "Brazilian Dance Moves" class---both of which were a riot! This old girl can still shake what Mother Nature gave her (in a good way, not a saggy skin way, ha-ha). Mac wanted to try the "Flow-Rider" surf pool but I think he secretly drew a sigh of relief when it was closed each time he approached the ride (next time, Hubs...I need to film your wave-crashing wipe-outs!). 

We thoroughly enjoyed the swim-up bar on the cruise ship's private island. The water was freezing cold, but after several Coco Loco cocktails, I was swimming like a mermaid. Made some new friends, too, although I remember very little after the 7th cocktail that day.....

One of the highlights of the trip, of course, was the graceful stingrays. The first time I touched one, I thought the skin felt like a wet mushroom! When I told the tour guide this, she gave me a weird look like she thought I was craving stingray kabobs for dinner. Unfortunately, we weren't able to get photos of this awesome excursion because we left the island early and forgot to view/order the professional photos. So you'll just have to take my word for it.

Despite these activities, one of my favorite things to do on the boat was.....nothing. I loved sitting back in a lounge chair and witnessing the most glorious sunsets from the deck. As I sipped a glass of champagne, I turned to Hubs and said, "Are you ready to book cruise number three?" He gave a quick nod, raised his glass, and we toasted to our next adventure at sea. 

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? Other than the AARP piece on grief, I am also honored to have a new essay published in The Huffington Post (about being a grandmother with multiple tattoos) which you can read HERE. Plus another food article on the best dishes for Thanksgiving that I published last week on AARP, which you can read HERE.

Buzz around these other blogs and check out what the fly has been doing in their homes!

Baking In A Tornado                                https://www.BakingInATornado.com

                              

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver         https://thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog

 
    Little white lies. We're all guilty of using them, whether it's to protect someone's feelings or to get out of attending the fifth Pampered Chef party invitation we've received in a month. We stretch the truth on the internet to make our lives sound more interesting. We tell our teens that our wallets have more cobwebs in them than an Egyptian tomb to avoid paying for a concert we secretly don't want them to attend.

     White lies are used to avoid the truth about ourselves and our loved ones. We use them to validate our actions, manipulate situations in our favor and to help sidestep conflict with others.

     Many of my female friends are very sensitive to the feelings of others and confess to using white lies whenever necessary. For instance, they would rather shave their heads than tell their husbands that they really didn't want a nose hair trimmer for a birthday gift, or that their friend's expensive bridesmaid dress looks more like a gunny sack dunked in a vat of Grey Poupon.


     My own mother is guilty of telling me little white lies when I was a child.  "If you eat all your carrots, you'll always have good eyesight"…. WRONG. I consumed more carrots in my youth than the entire rabbit population at the local pet store, and I'm still sporting 2.5 readers.  She also told me that calves liver is an acquired taste. Thirty years later and I still gag when I smell it frying in a pan with onions.

     Here's a list of the typical white lies that many women tell themselves:


*I'm only baking these chocolate chip cookies for the kids.

*All I need is five more minutes of sleep, and then I'll get out of bed.

*The kids won't notice we're eating leftover tuna casserole two nights in a row if I bury it under a mound of cheese.

*I refuse to give away my size 6 clothing because I'm sure I can lose these last 20 pounds of baby weight.

*My husband doesn't need me to remind him that our anniversary is coming up.

*I don't waste time on Facebook or Pinterest.

*I can quit eating sugar and salt anytime.

*My husband won't notice that I spent a fortune on yoga clothes but haven't been to the gym in six months.

*One more glass of wine won't affect me.

*I'm not sleeping…. I'm just resting my eyes.

*My husband will never see the extra charges from the Ikea store on our credit card bill.

 *I'll wake up early tomorrow to finish the project.

*My co-workers won't care if I re-heat broccoli in the lunchroom.

*The kids won't mind if we use their inheritance to invest in a billy goat farm.

*My husband won't notice that I haven't had time to wash my hair in three days.

*I'll start my diet on Monday.

*My daughter won't be angry if I tag her on Facebook with an old photo from her awkward, prepubescent years.

*The calories from the bites off my husband's dinner plate don't count.

*I'm sure my boss will be understanding when I call out of work for the third time this week with a sick toddler.

*I dance so much better after several vodka martinis.

*Just one more bite and then I'll stop.

*No way was she born with a perfect body like that.

*My son won't mind if I show his new girlfriend twenty hours of old family videos.

*I swear I didn't eat the last slice of pizza. It must have been the dog.

*I'm only going to watch one more episode of Orange Is The New Black on Netflix before I go to bed.

*I don't need to write down that information because I have a mind like a steel trap.

*I can't understand why I'm not loosing any weight. I haven't cheated on my diet at all.

*My husband won't be disappointed when I claim another headache for the third night in a row.

*I can't throw away my collection of Hello Kitty socks---they might be worth a lot of money one day.

*Of course I'm on my way there. I left ten minutes ago.


*I'll buy these jeans one size smaller because I know I'll fit into them eventually.

*No, really, you don't have to get me anything for my birthday.

*My life would be perfect if I won the lottery.

*I don't snore.

*It's perfectly acceptable to steal chocolate from my kids' Easter baskets and hide in the bathroom to eat it.

*I'll be ready to go in just a few minutes.

*Of course I love your new hairstyle. That purple mohawk really brings out your eye color.



     If ten or more of these apply to you, welcome to the Little White Liar's club. Now pass me that plate of cookies---- the kids won't notice if we eat them all. We can always blame it on the dog.