Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Five Wishes

     I was tagged in a holiday post two weeks ago by one of my favorite bloggers---Rachel @ http://taoofpoop.blogspot.com. She tagged me to list 5 Christmas wishes and to pass the "honor" down to 5 other bloggers. As usual though, I am late to the party and here it is only a few days before the BIG DAY. I'm not vengeful enough to pass this little project along to 5 other stressed out bloggers busy with the whole shopping/baking/decorating/wrapping/getting-drunk-on-spiked-egg-nog thing, so I'm going to share my 5 wishes here and leave it at that. Merry Christmas to the 5 prospective candidates I was GOING to tag (and cause the undue stress of writing a last minute blog post). BOOM! My Christmas shopping is done.

FIVE WISHES FOR SANTA

1.  I want to party like a rock star with Santa and his merry band of elves. But there are certain conditions----I am NOT cleaning up after those sloppy, drunk elves, and Santa MUST wear something other than that tiresome, red suit. How about a kilt? Or maybe some jeggings. An industrial strength girdle might be in order too, after all the milk and cookies he sucks up like a Hoover vacuum on Christmas Eve.

2.  I want to ride in a pimped out sleigh with Santa, as long as there is a bottle of cognac in the glove compartment. Rudolph won't be the only one with a red nose. Which reminds me---Santa needs to switch out that nose to an LED light to conserve energy.

3.  I'd like to have my own reindeer. He could live in my backyard, and I could charge admission ( to support my blog habit, of course) for reindeer rides to all the kiddies in the neighborhood. He could also nibble on our grass during the spring so we wouldn't have to mow the lawn as often.

4.  I want all the elves to show up the day after Christmas to dismantle my ridiculously large collection of holiday decorations and neatly pack them away in our attic. Ever notice how those lazy bastards suddenly disappear once the last gift has been unwrapped and the Christmas feast devoured? They don't even stick around long enough to help with the dishes.

5.  I want to live in a world where acorn squash is high in fats and calories, and chocolate truffles are a nutritious element in your daily, dietary needs. While you're at it, Santa, how 'bout a home liposuction kit? Cookies in, cookies out....no more gingerbread on the thighs.


     All kidding aside, what Menopausal Mama really wants for Christmas is peace. I know that sounds cliche, but at my age, I yearn for simplicity---a time when people marveled at a sunset, not the latest technological gadget. I miss respect and the kindness of strangers. Social media, as enjoyable as it may be, has also created a major disconnect in personal interaction.  A certain coldness permeates society now---we live in a world where greed is becoming the norm and compassion has waned. I want to feel safe when I walk down the streets. And I don't want to have to worry about the world my granddaughter will grow up in. I wish, as many do, an end to violence, hatred and racism.
     Despite the frightening things we have been surrounded by lately, there is still beauty to be found--in a smile, a kind word and laughter. Embrace these simple pleasures and you will discover beauty and love in the world, and in love there is hope.
     This is my wish for you, dear readers, and your families.
     And cookies...lots of cookies...




76 comments:

  1. You're right - those naughty elves DO scarper when it's clean-up time! hehe. Loved the last bit about peace and cookies. I wish someone else in our house would eat all our cookies up so there's none left for greedy guts Momma!

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    1. Me too! I feel lie everyone else just nibbles o them but there I am, pigging out as usual!!!! And here comes the holiday weight gain!!!

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  2. Great Post and love all of your wishes! I am definitely with ya on #5 tho! I agree with living in a world of peace! Enjoyed reading, and as always you rock! Merry Christmas to you and your family and a Happy and Safe New Years!

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    1. Thank you, Gossip Grl! I wish you an abundance of peace and happiness as well!

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    1. Thank you, Karen! I always love seeing you here and reading your comments!

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  4. Love this post! Wishing you a peaceful Christmas, someone to help with the dishes, and unlimited calorie free cookies :)

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    1. From your lips to Santa's ears---that is the perfect Christmas wish!

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  5. COOKIES, ohhh how I love the cookies. I have the sweetest little ol' lady that every year bakes me a giant plate of best cookies... I can't wait!

    But as much as I like the cookies I like your wish better. We do live in a different place these days. I can't think of a better thing to wish for than peace. It's not nearly as easy to be happy when you think of the people that can not be. I hope we can all find some compassion this year and reach out to someone in need of a smile. Thanks MM for doing your part.

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    1. And thank YOU for always bringing a smile to my face, Jon! I hope you have a beautiful and peaceful Christmas, too.

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  6. I love your 5 funny wishes, always hilarious :)

    I also what you want to, as much as I LOVE social media, I see the disconnect it has caused... I want to be more connected :)

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    1. I think we all have to make the effort and continue reaching out to others. Never hurts to stop by someone's home to say hello, or buy a friend a cup of coffee just to chat and catch up on life! If I was there, I would do that with you!

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  7. Leave it to you to make me laugh and tear up in the same post. I'd say it was your words on the beauty of kindness and laughter, but I'm really thinking it's because of those dang elves. I knew there was someone to blame for all the mess that is the day after Christmas! Grab that cognac my friend. Cheers to you and yours.

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    1. Cheers to you too, Michele, and have a WONDERFUL holiday season!!!

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  8. enjoyed... Merry Christmas back at ya!!! smiling, slu

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    1. Thanks, Slu! I already know your holiday will be filled with so much joy and love. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

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  9. Cookies - to be able to eat them without worrying about the calories!

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  10. As always, what a wonderful post. Hope you have a great holiday, and may the day after (hangover) be cured with some yummy cookies.

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    1. Or a good, strong, Bloody Mary, haha! Thanks Jeanne, and I wish you a Merry Christmas, too!

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  11. Merry Christmas, Meno Mom! I too am hoping that greed is replaced by generosity, and that kindness, compassion, empathy, and thoughtfulness make a comeback!

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  12. Love your post, especially #5 as well as your wishes. I love simplicity. I give Christmas gifts only to those who I know appreciate them, and they are only a few friends counted on one hand. The world has changed... The new generation does not have the same mindset as us 'oldies' - unfortunately.
    Wishing you and yours a wonderful Holiday Season and all the very best for a Happy and Healthy New Year!
    Take good care and keep up your wonderful blog posts!

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    1. Thank you, Astrid! I hope to be around for a long time writing these blog posts.And happy holidays to you, too!

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  13. My dear, you have a wonderful way with words. The 5 wishes were too funny...I am ready to chow down of the cookies. :) We have to make this world a better place, and I think we can do it one smile at a time. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you, Diane! I love what you said about "one smile at a time"--so true. Merry Christmas to you, too!

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  14. Your post made me smile. :-) One thing though; we always leave the decorations up until after New Year's - they make the house seem so cozy and inviting. Have a Merry Christmas.

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    1. I do love the decorations--just hate taking them down---such an arduous task! Merry Christmas to you and your family, Debbie!

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  15. Hey, why stop with cookies? Cakes, and pies, and Hershey bars with almonds could use some no-calorie love, too. And jelly beans and licorice and pistachio almond ice cream. (sigh)

    Great post. You make us laugh, and then you make us think. And there's nothing at all trite about wishing for peace.

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    1. Ohhhh Hershey bars with almonds---now THAT is something I'm going to ask Santa to leave in my stocking! Yum!

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  16. simply love your posts..
    http://fashionwithfitness.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you, Irfan! It is always a pleasure to see you here!

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  17. I like your wishes and actually they could mine as well. May all our wishes come true! (even the ridiculous ones!!!Hahaha!!!)

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    1. I really, really do want to ride in Santa's sleigh......

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  18. I wish alll the same things as you, especially the last item!! To have the flavor and no fat or calories!! What a Christmas miracle :)

    I hope you're having a great week my dear!
    Thank you so much for linking up to last week's Aloha Friday Blog Hop!! I'm following you.

    If you have time, we'd love to have you come and link up to the Aloha Friday Blog Hop if you haven't already! We are hosting a great giveaway too which is a wonderful opportunity to give some extra exposure to you lovely blog. Come and link up, enter the giveaway and celebrate the coming weekend with us!

    Aloha,

    Jean {What Jean Likes}

    Oh and thank you so much for having my Aloha Friday button in your sidebar!

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    1. I just linked up! Your blog hop is one of the best and I would never miss it!

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  19. Hahaha....your wishes are funny! But, come to think of it...I wish all the same :D :D
    Merry Christmas ....I also wish peace for all mankind!Hiarious post, MM!! Smiles.

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    1. Thanks, Panchali! Maybe if we ALL keep praying for peace, one day our wishes will come true!

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  20. Peace--we all need peace! I want a complete rest...even just for 2 days..

    Have a great Christmas Marcia , regards to the whole familia!

    x

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    1. I could use a long, winter's nap as well!! Thanks for stopping by, Cecille!

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  21. You're too funny. I think that when we reach menopause, we can be as funny as we want and don't care what others think. (within reason of course.) Merry Christmas.

    We may have met by chance...but we become friends by choice.
    http://simpleesue.com/bakin-up-chocolate-sandwich-christmas-cookies

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    1. I'm hungry just reading the name of your blog post so I KNOW I'm heading over there next to visit you!

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  22. Hey!
    I came over from the Aloha Blog swap.
    I love what you had to say about technology a lot-I have the disconnect conversation with my kids all the time.
    ...and the squash/chocolate swap.

    New follower!

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    1. We have much in common, then. Thanks for the follow!

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  23. Hi sweetie, followed your blog. I hope you follow back! Thanks!
    www.swirlsandscribbles.com

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    1. Thank you, Aby! I will certainly check out your site next!

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  24. Oh, you have made me proud! This post is inspired. Smart, funny and...touching. Thank you for reminding us all that we need to remember the little things. And thank you for joining in the fun!

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    1. Thank you for tagging me in your post--I loved it because it made me think up a whole new blog post!

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  25. I love it! #1 is the best. :)

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    1. Wouldn't you love to see Santa in jeggings? As long as he picks a color other than red!

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  26. Clean up elves, wouldn't that be dandy?? If you find them, send them over here too, I'll be happy to put 'em to work!

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    1. I'll warn you--it takes 4 of them to vacuum and they will drink up all your egg nog!

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  27. I just want to stay out of trouble this year.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  28. Hey, Im one of your newest followers linking up through the aloha fridays blog hop. I would love for you to check my blog out and follow me back!
    http://www.navywif33.com

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    1. Thanks for the follow--I'll be over shortly to check out your site!

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  29. Hey, new follower from the followers to friends blog party. Cute blog, looking forward to reading more. :)

    xo,
    Kristin
    aboutagirl.ca

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    1. Thanks, Kristin! I always love having new readers here!

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  30. great post honey, i wish you achieve all these things!

    xx

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    1. Aww thanks! Hopefully Santa will listen to me this year!!

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  31. hello
    Tirana aduka wish you.
    Happy new year.and have a nice day.

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    1. Than you so much, Tirana. I wish you a happy New Year, too!

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  32. "Cookies in, cookies out... no more gingerbread on the thighs." You are an evil genius. World peace would be nice and all, but a home liposuction kit would do so much more for my day to day at the moment...
    Great list, darling!

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    1. If you ever find one of those kits, let me know!!!!

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  33. Santa must have had a very bad time if he really had joined the party with you :)
    I like all your true wishes, I wish the same too. I really miss the good old days when I, as a kid played in the street with nothing to fear.
    Hope you and your family are enjoying the holiday.

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    1. The way life used to be...sweet and simple! Hope you are enjoying your holiday as well!

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  34. I like your wishes, especially anything to do with someone ele cleaning :-)

    Popped over from the Friday Chaos Blog Hop and am now following you
    http://adventuresofayorkshiremummy.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. I know, right??? I'd love to have a maid!!!

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  35. I can't begin to tell you how much I laughed while I was reading your 5 wishes. I too wish I could party with santa and the elves, but I would like to try to persuade santa to wear a multi-colored poncho with a broad rimmed sombrero. It can be a Latin style party. We will serve cranberry margaritas and tamales! LOL! I found you on TGIF blog hop and am following you now, I hope you get a chance to take a glance at my blog sometime too. Have a wonderful day and a great rest of your weekend.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Stephanie and thank you for the follow! I will certainly check out your site!

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  36. Hi I found you on the Blog hop. Please stop by and say hi when you get a minute. have a great week. :)

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    1. Hi Lenetta! I'll be by to check out your site soon!

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  37. I don't think you thought this one thru. I wouldn't let my kid sit on the knee of s dude in a skirt. Beard or not.

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  38. If your wish number four will ever come true, please send those elves to my address okay? :)

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